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2 Samuel 19:1-43

 

Good morning! Today we continue with our account of David, focusing on chapter 19 of 2 Samuel. Today’s message will be family friendly, as much as is possible for any message from 2 Samuel.

 

A quick reminder of past events. Starting in 2 Samuel 15, we see David’s estranged son Absalom prepare and implement a long plan to usurp the kingdom from his father. Over time, he drew more and more people to his side, playing loosely with the truth, presenting himself as a kinder, more compassionate, and more effective leader than his father all the while casting aspersion on his father’s rule. Receiving warning that a coup was imminent, David and his household hurried to leave his palace, and leave Jerusalem, preventing Absalom from slaughtering everyone, which he almost certainly would have done. We are told that the people wept for David as he left, and David also wept. He was barefoot and his head was covered, all signs of mourning. The people and David mourned together.

 

David and his party crossed the Jordan, going to one place; Absalom and his men also crossed, going to another. Each had an army. David’s army went out to fight Absalom’s. David stayed behind, at his general’s request. David asked them to “be gentle” with Absalom. Based on Absalom’s discussions with his counselors, we know that Absalom had no such inclination towards his father. Although one can understand why David is conflicted, words like this are never what an army wants to hear. The job and purpose of an army is to obtain victory, not “be gentle.”

 

Before I finish our recap of past events, I want to interject here that I am thankful that I am not king. To be a good king, or even a good president, requires that you no longer live for yourself; you live for your people. Your life is no longer your own.

 

In the grand themes of Scripture, one is undoubtedly that David is a type of forerunner of Jesus; He foreshadows what Jesus will do. He redeems the people from their enemies. He brings peace. He brings justice. He brings mercy. But it is an unenviable job to be a forerunner of Jesus. David is about to learn this, in painful lesson after painful lesson. Although it is true that many of the painful events in the later part of David’s life directly stemmed from his earlier sin, I believe it is also true that in order to fully foreshadow Christ, David had to also learn the meaning of sacrifice, of dying to self, of giving oneself fully for others. I picture David, his army sent out, waiting anxiously, not so much for news of how the army was doing, but for news of his son. God was about to bring David to what I think were the most painful events of his life to date. God was going to work at changing David. Although David was the forerunner of Christ, it was time for David to pick up his cross and follow Christ.

 

Returning to our summary of past events: A large battle took place, and David’s army overpowered Absalom’s. David’s army pursued Absalom’s men into a forest, and more of Absalom’s people were killed in this pursuit than in the original battle. During this pursuit, some of David’s men came across Absalom himself.  In a moment of great irony, Absalom’s hair, which had long been Absalom’s and his people’s source of great pride, caused Absalom to become trapped and dangle helplessly in a tree. While some of the men argued about whether it was appropriate to kill Absalom, David’s long-time general Joab took matters into his own hands. With his armor-bearers, he killed Absalom without mercy.

 

Messengers come to David and let him know the great news that Absalom’s army has been defeated; the kingdom was David’s once again! But David ignored this news. He only wanted to know about Absalom. When told that Absalom is dead, David grieves and wails for his son. David never acknowledges the victory, never praises his men; he only mourns for Absalom. This brings us to today’s passage. This scene is illustrated on our cover picture for the series. This brings us to today’s passage.

 

Joab was told, “The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” And for the whole army the victory that day was turned into mourning, because on that day the troops heard it said, “The king is grieving for his son.” The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. The king covered his face and cried aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!” – 2 Samuel 19:1-4

 

People who know me know that I am a melancholy through and through. In my own flesh, celebrations are not really my thing. If I am being very honest, there are times in celebrations (in my flesh) where I would rather go home, shut the bedroom door, and listen to Bach. Some of you may have similar feelings about celebrations (probably very few of you about the Bach part, though), but more likely, most of you do not. Melancholies are a minority. David was not a melancholy, by the way. The Psalms and other parts of Scripture make it clear that he loved to celebrate God.

 

Celebration is an important part of the human experience. It is good to celebrate with others. Not only is it good; it is scriptural:

 

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15

 

David’s people had just risked their very lives for David. They had fought hard, and it is extremely likely that some were injured seriously and that not all of them had survived. But they were victorious! The rebellion was over! The victory was complete!

 

But what is supposed to happen when one who only wants to mourn is in the presence of many who want to rejoice? This was David’s situation. He could not help how he felt. He did not care about the victory. He would have happily died in the place of Absalom. And now his son, the son he was unable to reconcile with, was dead.

 

Psychiatrists all say that there are stages of grief and that it is important to go through these stages. It is not good to suppress your grief, to deny yourself time to mourn. But there are also times and situations when people have responsibilities that, for a time, demand that they suppress those feelings.

 

David was king. As king, it was important, even essential that he rejoice with those who rejoice, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He would have time, later, even that night, to mourn in private. But now, he needed to smile, to greet the victors, to rejoice in their achievement. I am reminded of Jesus’ comment to Peter:

 

“Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” – John 21:18

 

For David, this was one of those times. He needed to die to self for the sake of his people.

As disciples of Jesus, there are times that we too need to deny ourselves. There is nothing about which we are permitted to say, “No, Lord, not that.” As every good parent knows, there are times you have to be there for your child, to comfort, strengthen, encourage, and love, when you yourself are hurting, when you think you have nothing left to give. There are times in all our lives when Jesus says, die to self now – in our workplaces, with our loved ones, and even with our church, which the Bible says is in fact another family.

Jesus tells all His disciples,

 

“Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me.” – Matthew 16:24

 

This was one of these moments for David. His people needed him. His personal grief, no matter how severe, could wait.

 

Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.” – 2 Samuel 19:5-7

 

Joab has the tact of an army tank. But, fundamentally, he is not wrong. We don’t know if the king knows that Joab is the reason Absalom is dead, or that it had been possible to capture Absalom rather than kill him, but I strongly suspect that David does not yet know this. But if asked, I am sure that Absalom could have given an equally impassioned (and equally insensitive) exposition on why ending Absalom’s life was necessary for the sake of the kingdom.

 

Joab is not specifically condemning David’s feelings. (When he says “You love those who hate you and hate those who love you,” he is using a figure of speech, one that Jesus also later uses, that is describing how things appear based on his actions.) Joab is condemning David’s actions, and is calling on David to do other actions to fix the situation. I think when counseling others we too should be careful about condemning how someone feels. That’s not to say that there is never a time and a place for it, as sometimes feelings are unscriptural or just wrong. Everyone knows that their feelings affect their actions. But it is also true that our actions affect our feelings. Even when we feel that we cannot change our feelings directly, we can still choose good actions, and in many cases, those actions will change our feelings over time.  

 

So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, “The king is sitting in the gateway,” they all came before him. Meanwhile, the Israelites had fled to their homes. – 2 Samuel 19:8

 

What did this public action communicate? That their king was rejoicing with them. Even if all he could do was force a fake smile, clap someone on the back, or shake a hand, even if his heart was not at all in it, he was dying to self, serving the role that the people needed and, I believe, that God expected of him.

 

Throughout the tribes of Israel, all the people were arguing among themselves, saying, “The king delivered us from the hand of our enemies; he is the one who rescued us from the hand of the Philistines. But now he has fled the country to escape from Absalom; and Absalom, whom we anointed to rule over us, has died in battle. So why do you say nothing about bringing the king back?” – 2 Samuel 19:9-10

 

So a national conversation was unfolding. I think what this passage is getting at, in part, is that it was somewhat contentious. The decision to support Absalom was never universally agreed upon by all individuals – nothing ever is. I picture a lot of “I told you so’s.” I think the passage also implies that people were definitely coming around to the idea of bringing David back. The reminder that it was David who had delivered them from their enemies (actually it was God, working through David), perhaps along with the realization that those same enemies, watching this situation, might decide that now would be the perfect time to start a fresh invasion, motivated many people to want to see the return of David.

 

King David sent this message to Zadok and Abiathar, the priests: “Ask the elders of Judah, ‘Why should you be the last to bring the king back to his palace, since what is being said throughout Israel has reached the king at his quarters? You are my relatives, my own flesh and blood. So why should you be the last to bring back the king?’ And say to Amasa, ‘Are you not my own flesh and blood? May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if you are not the commander of my army for life in place of Joab.’” – 2 Samuel 19:11-13

 

In the passage before this passage, it says that Israel was coming around. From this point on in the narrative, Israel means the ten northern tribes and Judah means primarily the tribe of Judah, but also what was left of Benjamin, in the south. So, it seems that David’s messengers were relaying the information that the northern tribes were coming around towards bringing David back. But seemingly this was not happening in Judah. David is willing to come back, but he wants the support of all the tribes before he does.

 

So David works behind the scenes, using his supporters Zadok and Abiathar, to encourage Judah to request his return. Judah was the first tribe David became king over, but they were also the first to rebel. His moving the capital from Hebron in Judah to Jerusalem in Israel probably contributed to their discontent.

 

I suspect at this point David now knew Joab’s role in his son’s death. David sweetens the “pot” by offering that Amasa, one of David’s nephews, be commander of his army. Amasa had been Absalom’s army commander, so having Amasa serve in this role for David was expected to cement support from all of those who had supported Absalom. David’s plan was bold and strategic.

 

He won over the hearts of the men of Judah so that they were all of one mind. They sent word to the king, “Return, you and all your men.” Then the king returned and went as far as the Jordan. – 2 Samuel 19:14-15a

 

The plan worked brilliantly. David now had the support Judah, the tribe to which it seems there had been the hardest feelings.

 

Now the men of Judah had come to Gilgal to go out and meet the king and bring him across the Jordan. Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, hurried down with the men of Judah to meet King David. With him were a thousand Benjamites, along with Ziba, the steward of Saul’s household, and his fifteen sons and twenty servants. They rushed to the Jordan, where the king was. They crossed at the ford to take the king’s household over and to do whatever he wished. – 2 Samuel 19:15b-18a

 

It feels like this account has more names to keep track of than Lord of the Rings. In case your memory is imperfect, like mine, here is a recap:

 

When David was leaving Jerusalem with his people to escape safely before Absalom arrived, a man came out to the road cursing and throwing stones at David. (2 Samuel 16) This man was from the house of Saul, and he called David a murderer for reigning in Jerusalem in the “House of Saul”. One of David’s men wanted to kill him on the spot, but David told him to let him curse, saying that perhaps God would repay him with good. The name of this man was Shimei.

 

Ziba first shows up in 2 Samuel 9, where David is looking for remaining members of Saul’s household to bless. Ziba was a servant of Saul’s household, along with his large family. Ziba tells David about Mephibosheth, a son of Jonathan who is lame in both feet. Among the blessings David pours on Mephibosheth, he instructs Ziba and his family to farm the land (and reap its benefits) that had once been Saul’s, which he gives to Mephibosheth.

However, when David flees Jerusalem, Ziba brings David provisions and tells David that Mephibosheth has broken faith with David. David responds by telling Ziba that all had been given to Mephibosheth is now given to Ziba.

 

It is not surprising that Ziba is eager to serve David, but Shimei is a surprise. Romans 2:4 tells us that God’s kindness leads people to repentance, and it appears that this is what happens to Shimei.

 

When Shimei son of Gera crossed the Jordan, he fell prostrate before the king and said to him, “May my lord not hold me guilty. Do not remember how your servant did wrong on the day my lord the king left Jerusalem. May the king put it out of his mind. For I your servant know that I have sinned, but today I have come here as the first from the tribes of Joseph to come down and meet my lord the king.” – 2 Samuel 19:18b-20

 

This is a beautiful act on the part of Shimei. But… why is there so often a “but?” Why are people so often offended by beautiful acts that other people do, especially when their past sins are known?

 

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said, “Shouldn’t Shimei be put to death for this? He cursed the Lord’s anointed.” David replied, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? What right do you have to interfere? Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Don’t I know that today I am king over Israel?” So the king said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” And the king promised him on oath. – 2 Samuel 19:21-23

 

Abishai is the very man who wanted David to kill Shimei back in chapter 16, when Shimei was cursing David! Abishai has a long (and mostly good) history with David. He is the person who accompanied David when he snuck into Saul’s camp and took Saul’s spear and water bottle while he slept. More recently he was one of the three main army commanders in the battle with Absalom.

 

David publicly accepts Shimei’s service and rebukes Abishai.

 

Mephibosheth, Saul’s grandson, also went down to meet the king. He had not taken care of his feet or trimmed his mustache or washed his clothes from the day the king left until the day he returned safely. When he came from Jerusalem to meet the king, the king asked him, “Why didn’t you go with me, Mephibosheth?” – 2 Samuel 19:24-25

 

He said, “My lord the king, since I your servant am lame, I said, ‘I will have my donkey saddled and will ride on it, so I can go with the king.’ But Ziba my servant betrayed me. And he has slandered your servant to my lord the king. My lord the king is like an angel of God; so do whatever you wish. All my grandfather’s descendants deserved nothing but death from my lord the king, but you gave your servant a place among those who eat at your table. So what right do I have to make any more appeals to the king?” – 2 Samuel 19:26-28

 

So David realizes that Ziba lied to him, likely hoping that David would do exactly what he had done, taking everything from Mephibosheth and giving it to Ziba. But is there a possibility that Ziba told the truth and Mephibosheth is now lying? Yes! Settling disputes was one of the more unpleasant tasks of a king. How does David respond?

 

The king said to him, “Why say more? I order you and Ziba to divide the land.” – 2 Samuel 19:29

 

I need to be careful what I say but let me just say that in my job over the past certain number of months, I have experienced multiple similar situations. A few years ago, this passage might have not stuck out to me, but now it absolutely does. I feel for you, David! Of course parents with multiple children also know exactly what this is like. But look at the response of Mephibosheth:

 

Mephibosheth said to the king, “Let him take everything, now that my lord the king has returned home safely.” – 2 Samuel 19:30

 

Was this just words, or was it meant truly? I personally believe that Mephibosheth was true and Ziba the conniving liar. Ziba had the motive – to get Mephibosheth’s possessions. But I mostly want to point out how dealing with such situations is horribly wearying. Someone once joked (or maybe wasn’t joking) that leadership positions (he was referring specifically to being a department head at the university) requires you to have an IQ of 80 80% of the time and an IQ of 200 20% of the time, meaning you do simple paperwork (or the computer equivalent) most of the time but then there are times you need to be a genius to try to figure out what is really going on and what to do.

 

Barzillai the Gileadite also came down from Rogelim to cross the Jordan with the king and to send him on his way from there. Now Barzillai was very old, eighty years of age. He had provided for the king during his stay in Mahanaim, for he was a very wealthy man. The king said to Barzillai, “Cross over with me and stay with me in Jerusalem, and I will provide for you.” – 2 Samuel 19:31-33

 

Barzillai is mentioned back in chapter 17. He did in fact provide for David and his people when, fleeing from Jerusalem, they came to stay in Mahanaim. David’s offer was a fine one – to be a part of those David provides for, much like Mephibosheth had been provided for back in chapter 9.

 

But Barzillai answered the king, “How many more years will I live, that I should go up to Jerusalem with the king? I am now eighty years old. Can I tell the difference between what is enjoyable and what is not? Can your servant taste what he eats and drinks? Can I still hear the voices of male and female singers? Why should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? Your servant will cross over the Jordan with the king for a short distance, but why should the king reward me in this way? Let your servant return, that I may die in my own town near the tomb of my father and mother. But here is your servant Kimham. Let him cross over with my lord the king. Do for him whatever you wish.” – 2 Samuel 19:34-37

 

I like Barzillai. A lot. He is extremely funny, although he is also expressing his serious preferences. He just wants to live at home. I totally get that. But he then offers someone in his place. This is not a literal servant – it is likely a young man that he is mentoring. Barzillai knows that for a young man like this, the chance to be a part of the king’s entourage would propel him far in life, far beyond what he could accomplish in Mahanaim.

The king said, “Kimham shall cross over with me, and I will do for him whatever you wish. And anything you desire from me I will do for you.” So all the people crossed the Jordan, and then the king crossed over. The king kissed Barzillai and bid him farewell, and Barzillai returned to his home. – 2 Samuel 19:38-39

 

I hope you see the continued humor here. Barzillai says “Do for him whatever you wish.” David responds, “I will do for him whatever you wish.” What a happy story! I wish I could end here. But there is a little more, and it is important.

 

When the king crossed over to Gilgal, Kimham crossed with him. All the troops of Judah and half the troops of Israel had taken the king over. Soon all the men of Israel were coming to the king and saying to him, “Why did our brothers, the men of Judah, steal the king away and bring him and his household across the Jordan, together with all his men?” – 2 Samuel 19:40-41

 

All the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, “We did this because the king is closely related to us. Why are you angry about it? Have we eaten any of the king’s provisions? Have we taken anything for ourselves?” Then the men of Israel answered the men of Judah, “We have ten shares in the king; so we have a greater claim on David than you have. Why then do you treat us with contempt? Weren’t we the first to speak of bringing back our king?” But the men of Judah pressed their claims even more forcefully than the men of Israel. – 2 Samuel 19:42-43

 

I cannot leave you there. I am going to steal the first two verses from next week’s speaker, so you can see where this is going.

 

Now a troublemaker named Sheba son of Bikri, a Benjamite, happened to be there. He sounded the trumpet and shouted, “We have no share in David, no part in Jesse’s son! Every man to his tent, Israel!” So all the men of Israel deserted David to follow Sheba son of Bikri. But the men of Judah stayed by their king all the way from the Jordan to Jerusalem. – 2 Samuel 20:1-2

 

We will see how this mess gets resolved – and it is very messy – next week. But I want to come back to a theme I mentioned at the beginning of this message.

 

Jesus tells all His disciples,

 

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me.” – Matthew 16:24

 

Often we think taking up your cross means refusing to give in to personal temptation, for example in areas like lust. Or we perhaps think it means we need to be active in sharing our faith, even when it is uncomfortable. All of these are true, absolutely. But taking up your cross also means dealing with screaming and crying and fighting kids. And it means dealing with terrible bosses or being the boss of terrible employees at work. And it means taking classes with really bad professors or teachers or in subjects that are really hard or in subjects you just don’t like. God intends for you to be taking up your cross in everyday life.

 

The purpose of everyday life is not just to get through it. God wants to use it, every single day, to help us learn how to die to self and live for Him. He wants to take us where, in our flesh, we do not want to go.

 

I must confess that I would absolutely hate to be David, to live his life. And so perhaps it is not such a big surprise that more and more I see in my life, especially at work but also in other areas, more and more of the exhausting, crisis-filled life of David, dealing with consequences caused by, well, as the author of 2 Samuel calls them, troublemakers. That is a better term than the first couple that come to my mind.

 

I do not know all the details of what you are experiencing these days in life, but I do know that you are experiencing life. And I know that in your life, God wishes to use the trials and frustrations and challenges to conform you to the likeness of His Son. So I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to draw near to Him, to invite Him to cut away the diseased parts of you that oppose Him and to breathe life into the new you whose Spirit is sealed by Him, the new you that desires only to love Him and forever be His servant.