O My Son!

2 Samuel 17:24-18:33

 

I would like to start my message today with a parable. I will call it the parable of the kudzu vine. It is a story that actually happened this week across the street from our house. I’d noticed kudzu growing in that area for some time, but this year I realized that it was actually killing a large tree by taking over a huge area of its topmost branches and blocking the sunlight from the tree. I traced where the vine came out of the ground in two places, and I cut it just above ground level. It was very simple, really. Within a couple of days, all the growth at the top of the tree had withered, and by the end of the week it was hardly noticeable anymore. Cutting the vine at the right places had dramatically taken care of the problem for that tree.

 

You can probably guess the spiritual application. How do we deal with sin in our lives – or indeed with any issue that we would like to transform? Too often we look at what is readily apparent and try to do something about that. But that is about as straightforward and effective as if I had tried to climb the tree and pull off each kudzu leaf. Not only would that have been an impossible task, but the leaves would have immediately re-sprouted. I needed to cut it off at its root.

 

We need to be careful to identify the root in dealing with any problem. Why do we react to things the way that we do? There is no use just trying to change the behavior; we need to dig deeper and examine past experiences that first put us on a certain path: choices that we made, things that other people did to us. Sometimes we have to go way back, even to previous generations. Why are we the way that we are? God wants to bring deep healing and forgiveness and transformation, if we are willing to go to the root. A surface treatment is not enough. It will be like picking the leaves off of a kudzu plant. It will just regrow.

As we have studied the situation with David’s family in 2 Samuel, we have seen how he lost control of his sons. He lost their respect. It resulted in much conflict and heartache. As great a leader as he was, as much as he was a man after God’s own heart, David was not effective at dealing with these issues. It was like he was standing on the ground looking at a kudzu vine taking over the top of a tree. How could he possibly pull down such a vine?

Was he willing to go to the root? We don’t know all that was in his heart. We saw how his sin with Bathsheba grew out of a sense of power and entitlement that led him to take what he wanted. That led to Amnon taking what he wanted, in his violation of Tamar and to Absalom taking what he wanted, even the kingdom itself. It is not recorded that David made the connection with his own lust, but we will see how this pattern carried on even after he was dead, such as when Solomon took hundreds of foreign wives, who led him away from the Lord. Feeding our own desires is at the root of much of our sin.

 

We are currently in the middle of the story of Absalom’s revolt. Absalom had killed Amnon because of what Amnon did to Tamar. Absalom then fled to Geshur, to stay with his mother’s family. David longed to see him again but had a hard time requesting or permitting his return, until Joab sent the “wise woman” to get David to face up to the situation. That was back in chapter 14. Absalom returned to Jerusalem, but David is still torn about actually seeing him. He is not willing to go to the root of the issues with Absalom. Their relationship remains distant, even after they come face to face again. David is somehow not able to offer the same forgiveness and reconciliation that he personally has received from God.

 

Absalom, therefore, sees the opportunity to take advantage of his father’s weakness and build up his own political power. He “stole the hearts of the people of Israel,” as it says in chapter 15, by being approachable and listening to them. Had David lost his own connection with the people? Was he not hearing their claims and giving them justice? It’s not clear from the text. But in any case, David once again does not confront Absalom to find out what is really going on. As Absalom’s rebellion takes shape, David’s response is to run away. His only resistance is to send Hushai to try to frustrate the advice of Ahithophel, the royal counselor who had sided with Absalom.

 

Ahithophel is an interesting character. He was blessed with an unusual ability to give wise advice, “like that of one who inquires of God,” we read at the end of chapter 16. In last week’s message, Jonathan mentioned the possibility that Ahithophel was Bathsheba’s grandfather and may have harbored resentment against David for taking his granddaughter the way he did. In any case, he betrayed David, foreshadowing the betrayal of Jesus by Judas. And the result was the same, with both Ahithophel and Judas dying of suicide. Ahithophel had a gift from God that he misused, and it led to his own destruction. He gave Absalom shrewd advice that could have led to a quick victory over David. But Hushai’s recommendation to delay action prevailed. Verse 14 of chapter 17 states that “the Lord had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to being disaster on Absalom.” Ahithophel could not stand the shame of being contradicted, so he went home and hanged himself. And on that sad note, we come to today’s passage, beginning with 2 Samuel 17:24.

 

David went to Mahanaim, and Absalom crossed the Jordan with all the men of Israel. Absalom had appointed Amasa over the army in place of Joab. Amasa was the son of Jether, an Ishmaelite who had married Abigail, the daughter of Nahash and sister of Zeruiah the mother of Joab. The Israelites and Absalom camped in the land of Gilead.

When David came to Mahanaim, Shobi son of Nahash from Rabbah of the Ammonites, and Makir son of Ammiel from Lo Debar, and Barzillai the Gileadite from Rogelim brought bedding and bowls and articles of pottery. They also brought wheat and barley, flour and roasted grain, beans and lentils, honey and curds, sheep, and cheese from cows’ milk for David and his people to eat. For they said, “The people have become exhausted and hungry and thirsty in the wilderness.” – 2 Samuel 17:24-29

 

Absalom’s delay allowed David and his followers to escape across the Jordan and reach the city of Mahanaim. There is a certain irony in his going there as that is where Abner had established Ishbosheth as the king of Israel in his attempt to carry on Saul’s dynasty. Even earlier, as recorded in Genesis 32, it was in Mahanaim that David’s ancestor Jacob had divided his company into two groups in response to his brother Esau’s approach. So over its history this town was marked by fear of confrontation.

 

Absalom approached and camped nearby. The commander of his army was Amasa, who was a cousin of Joab, the commander of David’s army. Both men were therefore David’s nephews.

 

In reaching Mahanaim, David also reached sustenance, provided by Shobi, Makir, and Barzillai, and listed here in considerable detail. Food was indeed an important resource. David and his army were strengthened for what lay ahead. Then our narrative continues in chapter 18:

 

David mustered the men who were with him and appointed over them commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. David sent out his troops, a third under the command of Joab, a third under Joab’s brother Abishai son of Zeruiah, and a third under Ittai the Gittite. The king told the troops, “I myself will surely march out with you.”

But the men said, “You must not go out; if we are forced to flee, they won’t care about us. Even if half of us die, they won’t care; but you are worth ten thousand of us. It would be better now for you to give us support from the city.”

The king answered, “I will do whatever seems best to you.”

So the king stood beside the gate while all his men marched out in units of hundreds and of thousands. The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders. – 2 Samuel 18:1-5

 

David offered to lead his troops, but his commanders realized how risky that would be. Absalom merely needed David dead to have a legitimate claim to the throne as his oldest remaining son. David would be the main target of whatever attack might come. It would be much safer for him to remain in the city. At the same time, David was concerned for the life of Absalom and wanted his men to capture him alive, if possible.

 

David’s army marched out of the city to fight Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. There Israel’s troops were routed by David’s men, and the casualties that day were great—twenty thousand men.  The battle spread out over the whole countryside, and the forest swallowed up more men that day than the sword. – 2 Samuel 18:6-8

 

The forest of Ephraim, where this battle took place, seems to be on the eastern side of the Jordan. The tribe of Ephraim must have had some claim to this area, despite it not being within their traditional territory. David’s army quickly got the upper hand, perhaps through being better prepared and provisioned. The forest itself must have held some dangers, as men got lost or injured themselves in the rout.

 

Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going.

 When one of the men saw what had happened, he told Joab, “I just saw Absalom hanging in an oak tree.”

Joab said to the man who had told him this, “What! You saw him? Why didn’t you strike him to the ground right there? Then I would have had to give you ten shekels of silver and a warrior’s belt.” – 2 Samuel 18:9-11

 

Absalom’s magnificent hair was his undoing, catching in the tree and leaving him hanging and vulnerable. Joab clearly had no intention of following David’s directive to deal gently with Absalom. He already had in mind a reward for the man who killed him.

 

But the man replied, “Even if a thousand shekels were weighed out into my hands, I would not lay a hand on the king’s son. In our hearing the king commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, ‘Protect the young man Absalom for my sake.’ And if I had put my life in jeopardy—and nothing is hidden from the king—you would have kept your distance from me.”

Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree. And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him. – 2 Samuel 18:12-15

 

The man does not believe that Joab would have defended him before David for killing Absalom. He knew how much David loved his rebellious son. But Joab has no qualms about killing anyone, so he took care of it himself, with his armor-bearers finishing the dreadful job. Joab was a powerful man in Israel, doing what he thought was best, without much regard even for the king. You will recall how he had earlier murdered Abner against David’s wishes. His blood-thirsty ways would catch up with him in the end, however, and he would be executed by King Solomon. David wanted justice against Joab but could not bring himself to carry it out. In the current situation, with the killing of Absalom, Joab could claim that he was justified in striking down an enemy in battle, but he shamed David in the process by not heeding his command to deal gently with Absalom.

 

Then Joab sounded the trumpet, and the troops stopped pursuing Israel, for Joab halted them. They took Absalom, threw him into a big pit in the forest and piled up a large heap of rocks over him. Meanwhile, all the Israelites fled to their homes.

During his lifetime Absalom had taken a pillar and erected it in the King’s Valley as a monument to himself, for he thought, “I have no son to carry on the memory of my name.” He named the pillar after himself, and it is called Absalom’s Monument to this day. – 2 Samuel 18:16-18

 

There is still a monument in the Kidron Valley, between Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives that is called Absalom’s Pillar or Absalom’s Tomb. However, it is unlikely to be either of those in reality, since its style dates from the first century, and our text indicates that Absalom was buried on the far side of the Jordan. The large heap of rocks in the forest was a tragic monument to this man who had so much potential but who never quite fit in. He thought he could create honor for himself by erecting a pillar near Jerusalem, but for centuries passersby would throw stones at what was identified as his monument, and parents of unruly children would bring them to the site to teach them a lesson about what happened to a rebellious son.

 

Now Ahimaaz son of Zadok said, “Let me run and take the news to the king that the Lord has vindicated him by delivering him from the hand of his enemies.”

“You are not the one to take the news today,” Joab told him. “You may take the news another time, but you must not do so today, because the king’s son is dead.”

Then Joab said to a Cushite, “Go, tell the king what you have seen.” The Cushite bowed down before Joab and ran off.

Ahimaaz son of Zadok again said to Joab, “Come what may, please let me run behind the Cushite.”

But Joab replied, “My son, why do you want to go? You don’t have any news that will bring you a reward.”

 He said, “Come what may, I want to run.”

So Joab said, “Run!” Then Ahimaaz ran by way of the plain and outran the Cushite. – 2 Samuel 18:19-23

 

Ahimaaz was the son of Zadok the priest and would become high priest after him during the reign of Solomon. David had already recruited him and his brother Jonathan to bring information about Absalom in Jerusalem. Now he wanted to run with this news of Absalom’s death, but Joab realized that this would not gain Ahimaaz favor in the eyes of the king. So Joab tells a Cushite, a foreigner from Africa, to go instead. But Ahimaaz insists on going anyway.

 

While David was sitting between the inner and outer gates, the watchman went up to the roof of the gateway by the wall. As he looked out, he saw a man running alone. The watchman called out to the king and reported it.

The king said, “If he is alone, he must have good news.” And the runner came closer and closer.

 Then the watchman saw another runner, and he called down to the gatekeeper, “Look, another man running alone!”

The king said, “He must be bringing good news, too.”

 The watchman said, “It seems to me that the first one runs like Ahimaaz son of Zadok.”

“He’s a good man,” the king said. “He comes with good news.” – 2 Samuel 18:24-27

 

There is something poignant here about David desperately waiting for good news. He wanted Absalom safe but not victorious. A flood of people running back would have meant that Absalom had routed his army. But just two individuals running might be bringing important news of success in the battle. David was hoping against hope that Absalom was still okay.

 

Then Ahimaaz called out to the king, “All is well!” He bowed down before the king with his face to the ground and said, “Praise be to the Lord your God! He has delivered up those who lifted their hands against my lord the king.”

The king asked, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

Ahimaaz answered, “I saw great confusion just as Joab was about to send the king’s servant and me, your servant, but I don’t know what it was.” – 2 Samuel 18:28-29

 

On arriving first, Ahimaaz loses his nerve and will not break the sad news to the king. He is eager to tell David the good news that his kingdom has been saved from the rebellion, but he pretends not to know what has happened to Absalom.

 

The king said, “Stand aside and wait here.” So he stepped aside and stood there.

Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against you.”

The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.” – 2 Samuel 18:30-32

 

The Cushite also gives glory to God for rescuing the king. But David is fixated on the wellbeing of his son. How was Absalom? The Cushite makes it clear that the young man is dead.

 

The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son! – 2 Samuel 18:33

 

David was completely broken up by the death of Absalom. He does not care that Absalom had treated him so shamefully, wanting to kill him and take his kingdom by force. Why did David feel this loss so deeply? Why would he have wanted to die instead of his son? There is a huge amount of regret in this relationship. David is mourning for his own failure. He had failed to protect Absalom’s sister, hardly even acknowledging the crime committed against her by Amnon. He did nothing to prevent Absalom taking Amnon’s blood on his hands. And he did not take the initiative to truly reconcile with Absalom when he returned from Geshur. When Absalom finally appears before him at that time, he kisses him – but David does not say anything, at least that we have recorded for us. What a difference a word of forgiveness and acceptance in that moment might have made! David missed this opportunity to start rebuilding the relationship.

 

We can only speculate as to why David seemed so ineffective in leading his children into a right relationship with God and with each other. Perhaps he felt that his own failures disqualified him from exhorting them into ways of truth and humility. It all comes to a head here with the loss of Absalom. Oh Absalom, my son, my son! David is grieving for lost opportunities to make things right.

 

We each make choices every day in how we will relate to others. All we have is today. We cannot change the past, though it is important, as I said, to go back and discern the reasons for the ways we behave and the root causes of the issues that we face right now. And the future is so uncertain, especially now with the world in turmoil for various reasons. We never know how much time we or others will have left on earth.

 

The apostles and many other figures in the Bible lived with a sense of how temporary their lives were and how they needed to seize the moment in fulfilling God’s purposes for them. Peter exhorts believers in 2 Peter 1:

 

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. – 2 Peter 1:5-9

 

We have the advantage over David of a personal knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ and a real experience of his grace that cleanses us from sin as we look to him in faith. But we need to add these other qualities to make us effective in sharing our faith with others: goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love. In the Greek these last two are philadelphia (brotherly love, translated in the NIV as mutual affection) and agape (unconditional love, exemplified by God). Peter had pointed out the importance of agape love in chapter 4 of his first letter: “Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” This kind of love is our only hope in challenging, difficult relationships; that is why it’s the ultimate quality in this list. Skipping down to verse 12 of that same chapter,

 

So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have.  I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things. – 2 Peter 1:12-15

 

Peter wanted to make the most of the time he had and focus on what was most important. Today is the day of salvation. Tomorrow may be too late to do anything. Today is all we have to capitalize on the opportunities that God has given us to heal the past and choose to love with his love. As I am writing this, I am hearing in the background the beginning of “I Want to Live Like That” by the Sidewalk Prophets. What a fitting prayer of commitment! I want to close with those words:

 

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs

Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of those
Was my worship more than just a song

I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You

If love is who I am
Then this is where I'll stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back

I want to live like that
I want to live like that