Why Do I Feel Distant? Intimacy in Christ

Good morning everyone!  We are at week eight in our twelve week series “In Christ, With Christ, and For Christ: Our Identity, Belonging and Purpose.”  The format of this series is to consider a variety of questions related to God and our relationship with Him.  The bible is our guide, of course, and we will continue to explore what

it says in answer to each of these questions.
 
Last week, Tim shared on our belonging to one another in Christ.  Today’s message seeks to answer the question, “Why do I feel distant?”  Phrased differently, it could read, “Why don’t I feel like I belong?”  The underlying topic is our intimacy in Christ, and with Christ.
 
I think it is implied in the question, but just to be clear, it is not good to be separate from the body of Christ.  Multiple bible passages encourage us to be united together.  Tim also pointed out that when we aren’t united we are vulnerable.  “We are vulnerable when we are alone and isolated. We need each other. Participating in the body of Christ helps keep us all on track, as we exhort each other with the truth of who Jesus is and what He has taught us.”
 
Based on Scripture and my own experience and observations, here is an incomplete list of reasons why we feel distant from one another.
 
1.    Sin, our own and/or the sin of others
2.    Being disconnected from the Holy Spirit
3.    Not going through the (spiritual) motions
4.    Being on a different path from others
5.    Thinking more of ourselves than we should
6.    Thinking less of ourselves than we should
7.    Bearing burdens that aren’t ours to bear
8.    We don’t believe God that … The things that unite us are much stronger than any that try to separate us.
 
As we weave in and out of these points, one common thread that may seem counterintuitive is that our fellowship with the Lord is going to play a prominent role in our feelings toward one another.  It is important to consider that we are part of the body of Christ.  Jesus is the head of the body.  It is possible for a hand to be connected to an arm without being connected to the head, but that’s a gruesome image.  Likewise, a hand connected to the head without an arm is bizarre.  So, it’s a both-and deal.  We belong to the body of Christ and as such we have relationship with Jesus Christ our head and with one another.  You can’t have one without the other unless perhaps you were stranded on a desert island by yourself.  Anyone stranded on a desert island?  No, okay.  Let’s pray and dive into these points.
 
Father God, lead us carefully through this topic today.  Life is difficult when we feel separated from our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Help us to see opportunities to be united together in You.  We ask in Jesus’ Name, Amen.
 
Our first point is the obvious one, and you might argue that some of the subsequent points could be subpoints under this one.  So, let’s cover it right out of the gate.
 
1.    Sin, our own and/or the sin of others
 
We know that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, that’s Romans 3:23.  Just a few chapters later, Romans 6:23 says that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.  Galatians 2:20 tells what happens when we have accepted this gift of God and asked Jesus to save us …
 
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. – Galatians 2:20
 
In this new life that we have, we are called to be holy as God is holy. (I Peter 1:15-16) This is an impossible task apart from the continuous work of God in us.  And yet, if we allow God to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9), and we continue to walk in the light as He is in the light, we will have fellowship with one another.
 
If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. – I John 1:7
 
Proverbs 3:32 gives us this word about fellowship and intimacy with the Lord in connection with purity and holiness.
 
The LORD is intimate [H5475] with the upright. – Proverbs 3:32 NAS
 
In contrast to these promises, scripture is clear that sin separates. – Isaiah 59:2 says,
 
Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. – Isaiah 59:2
 
Likewise, there are multiple passages that instruct us to turn from sin.  These passages are clearly written to churches, to bodies of believers, like Colossians 3.
 
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.  Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.  Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. – Colossians 3:5-10
 
Thinking about getting rid of wrong attitudes and actions, I heard an interesting  quote this week.  The speaker was talking about Joseph and how he fled from Potiphar’s wife.  Rather than sin, Joseph ran away.  John Stonestreet then said, “Geography has a lot to do with morality, I think, sometimes where you find yourself in the opportunities that you have.”  We each have to evaluate the things that we are involved in, and sometimes we need to make the decision to walk away from some things because of where they position us in our thinking and in our actions.
 
Our relationships and intimacy can also be damaged when other people sin against us.  There are serious sin situations where separation is necessary for protection.  Thankfully, most situations we face where others have wronged us are not in that category.  In addition to staying away from sin ourselves, we are also exhorted to …
 
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:13-14
 
I acknowledge that this is not the easiest thing to do, but it is what we have been called to.  Our forgiveness of others should look like the Lord’s forgiveness of us.  In case you need another example, how about II Corinthians 13:11 …
 
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. – II Corinthians 13:11
 
Let us forgive, strive for restoration and encourage one another.  And, going to our second point.  Why else do we feel distant?
 
2.    Being disconnected from the Holy Spirit
 
Last year, we completed a series on the book of Ezekiel.  There in chapter 39 (just before the part about the new temple), God explains why the people of Israel had to go into exile.  “I dealt with them according to their uncleanness and their offenses, and I hid my face from them.” (39:24) But then, He reveals that He will have compassion and restore Israel.  He concludes by saying …
 
I will no longer hide my face from them, for I will pour out my Spirit on the people of Israel, declares the Sovereign LORD. – Ezekiel 39:29
 
God has indeed sent us His Spirit.  Jesus said,
 
If you love me, keep my commands.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate [Helper or Comforter] to help you and be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for He lives with you and will be in you. – John 14:15-17
 
The Holy Spirit does a great many things, but one of the key things is to bear fruit within us.  And that fruit is the kind of thing that would allow us to have deep relationships.
 
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. … Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. – Galatians 5:22-23, 25
 
If we don’t have these attributes, it will be difficult to maintain close relationships with one another and with Christ.
 
Just as you see there, it seems that there is responsibility on our part to “keep in step with the Spirit.”  Ephesians 5:18 tells us to “be filled with the Spirit.”  Again, there is a sense of accepting the filling of the Spirit.  Bill Bright wrote a tract for Cru years ago called The Spirit-filled Life that had a profound impact on me as a new believer.  In it, he talked about being filled with the Spirit.  There’s not really anything we do to be filled by the Spirit except ask God to do it.  Then, he followed that thought up with the neat idea that God answers our prayers when we pray according to His will.  Well, if He tells us to be filled, and we pray that He would fill us, then He’s bound to answer because it is in accordance with His will.  Ask and you shall receive. (Matthew 7:7, 21:22)
 
3.    Not going through the (spiritual) motions
 
I struggled with how to name this one.  I know it kind of has a derogatory feel to it, but I kind of wanted it to be that way.  My other option was to say, “Choosing not to meet the ‘obligations of God.’ ”  I’ve been reading the Amplified translation of the bible in Numbers in the Old Testament account of Israel in the wilderness.  At the end of chapter 9, it talks about how the cloud of God was over the Tabernacle and how when it lifted, they would move out.  Verse 23 says this …
 
At the command of the Lord they camped, and at the command of the Lord they journeyed on; they kept their obligation to the Lord, in accordance with the command of the Lord through Moses. – Numbers 9:23
 
That is from the amplified translation.  The thing that caught my eye was the phrase, “they kept their obligation to the Lord.”  The NIV says they obeyed the Lord’s order which is certainly a valid translation.  It’s just that for me, the words “they kept their obligation to the Lord” caused me to think of all the Lord had done for the people of Israel up to that point.  How He had delivered them from Egypt and protected them from Pharaoh and his army, how He had provided for them in the desert.  In many ways, Israel was obligated to the Lord, but obligations aren’t always kept.
 
I’ve talked several times about my Aunt Joan and how she was a blessing in our family’s life.  But if I’m honest, it wasn’t always easy to stop and visit with her.  In the earlier times that we visited my Aunt, it was often out of a sense of obligation to my mother.  Interestingly, honoring my mom in that way became a blessing to our entire family.  The older I get, it seems the more often I realize that times when I honored my father and mother have become unexpected blessings.  Children, listen to an old man, honor your father and mother, it will bless them and you.  Try it, you’ll see.  I tell that story because when we “meet our obligations to the Lord” we too will be blessed even if we don’t see it at first.
 
I liked this simple quote from Kristi Bolt, “God is always reliable, but your fickle feelings aren’t.”  Even though we don’t always feel like spending time with God, He is waiting for us.
 
In John 5, Jesus explained to the Jewish leaders how Old Testament scriptures testified to who Jesus was.  In spite of that, Jesus observed, “Yet, you refuse to come to me to have life.” (5:40) Let us not make that mistake and refuse to come to Him.
 
The benefits of connecting with God and obeying His commands are many.  Here are a few examples:
 
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. – Psalm 34:4
 
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. – Psalm 91:1
 
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! … Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:4, 6-7
 
If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your well-being like the waves of the sea. – Isaiah 48:18
 
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. – Colossians 3:15
 
I don’t have time to go into all these point by point, but if we feel distant from one another, I would encourage you to consider whether you are spending time with the Lord in worship and prayer.  Are you seeking to obey His commands day by day?
 
4.    Being on a different path from others (Job’s situation, David’s situation)
 
So in the first three points, I feel like there is this expectation that we can “do something” about our feelings of distance.  This point is a lot more about the circumstances God has placed us in.
 
Jesus told the disciples he was on the path to the cross, and Peter confronted and even rebuked Him.  In most cases, I think we would side with Peter if we knew that the course of action that our friend or our mentor or our leader or our brother was taking would lead to His suffering much less His death.  But Jesus was on a different path than what Peter thought was best.  The distance Jesus must have felt from Peter particularly in that moment and other moments like in the Garden of Gethsemane was related to the path He was on.  It was incredibly difficult, but those closest to Jesus weren’t able to come alongside Him in His most challenging moments.
 
We can also think about Job.  Job was a prosperous family man.  And in a matter of one day, he lost all his wealth and all his children.  Later, he lost his own health being afflicted with painful sores from the top of his head to the soles of his feet.  To make matters worse, in the midst of his personal suffering, he said, “All my intimate [H5475] friends detest me; those I love have turned against me.” (19:19) Then later, he cried out, “Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God's intimate [H5475] friendship blessed my house.” (29:4)
 
Job’s friends and even his wife gave him all sorts of discouragement and bad counsel.  Job even followed through on the “spiritual” motions, I mentioned in the previous point.  And although Job sought God, he lamented, “But if I go to the east, [God] is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find Him. When He is at work in the north, I do not see Him; when He turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of Him.” (23:8-9)
 
Job felt distance in his relationships because of his circumstances, things that his friends just couldn’t and possibly didn’t want to understand.
 
We still have a good bit of ground to cover today, so I will only touch briefly on David, but he too went through fantastic trials.  He was pursued by King Saul.  He was betrayed by good friends on multiple occasions.  In the midst of all that, David struggled in His relationship with God.  In Psalm 13:1, he said, “How long, LORD?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?”  He said similar things also in Psalm 27:9, Psalm 30:7, and Psalm 143:7 to mention a few.  In spite of the hurts he faced and the distance he felt from God, David did not lose faith in the Lord.  Psalm 13 closes …
 
But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing the LORD’s praise, for He has been good to me. – Psalm 13:6
 
Amazing, but this is what we must endeavor to do in the midst of trials, even when we feel misunderstood.  Or, it is what we must endeavor to do when it is impossible for those around us to understand what we are going through.
 
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. – Romans 5:3-5
 
Although it is incredibly difficult at the time, our experiences create character and hope that allow us to help others in the future.  And, in the midst of the hard times, take comfort in the Psalms knowing that you are not alone in going through tough times.
 
5.    Thinking more of ourselves than we should
 
I’ll touch on this point briefly.  We can create distance to others when we think more highly of ourselves than we should.  Humility is an important attribute.  Philippians 2 exhorts us to consider others better than ourselves, and furthermore, we should look not only to our own interests but the interests of others.  There, we are given Jesus as our example who “made Himself nothing.” (2:7) And, it plainly says our “attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” (2:5)
 
This is a bit more targeted, but whatever amount of wealth we have, in comparison to most of the people in the rest of the world, we are rich.  Paul charged Timothy to give this message to the wealthy in his congregations.
 
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.  Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. – I Timothy 6:17-19
 
If you bless others, you will be blessed. 
 
A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. – Proverbs 11:25
 
6.    Thinking less of ourselves than we should (Believing we are inadequate and unworthy)
 
Why do we feel distance from other believers?  Sometimes we feel unworthy or inadequate or guilty.
 
I saw this Far Side comic this week, and it just seemed to fit with this message. 

The way it struck me in the context of this message is probably not how Gary Larson was thinking about it when he first drew it.  At the very beginning of the message, I mentioned Romans 3:23 which explains that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  Apart from God, I think we’re all more like wolves or dogs than sheep.  When we commit the deeds of the flesh (Galatians 5:19), we look and feel like wolves rather than sheep.  But we’ve been given new life.  We’re not wolves any more.  We need to turn from those things, and trust in Christ’s all sufficient work to save and cleanse us.  Romans 8:34-39 says …
 
Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. –  Romans 8:34-39
 
You are not condemned.  We have new life in Christ.  His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
 
7.    Bearing burdens that aren’t ours to bear
 
We already looked at Colossians 3:13 which tells us to bear with one another.  Last week, Tim shared Ephesians 4:2 which also exhorts us to bear with one another in love.  Galatians 6:2 says we should carry one another’s burdens, so surely there are no burdens that we shouldn’t bear are there?
 
Jesus said in Matthew 11 …
 
Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30
 
I had a promotional email this week which I often do not read.  This one was about a devotional by Shaunti Feldhahn entitled Find Rest.  The email included this quote, “When Jesus says that a key way to find rest is to ‘Take my yoke upon you,’ He is gently rebuking us for taking on burdens that we were not meant to carry, and instead telling us to take on those purposes that He has created…”
 
What should you do if you feel especially weighed down by something?  It would be good to share that with someone and ask for counsel on how to handle the situation.  If we don’t open up and address the concern, it can also cause us to feel distant to others.
 
8.    We don’t believe God that … The things that unite us are much stronger than any that try to separate us.
 
Okay, so I pretty much took this one straight from Tim’s message last week.  But, it fits so well and deserves to be reiterated.  Tim explained, “The grace that has covered our sins needs to overflow from us to cover the ways others have offended us. There is one body, Spirit, and hope.”  We have to believe that is possible in order to experience it.
 
Relationships are going to have friction.  People are going to have disagreements.  We are even going to hurt one another from time to time.  James 3:2 says it succinctly, “We all stumble in many ways.”
 
Jesus told us in John 16, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (16:33)  He didn’t say that we wouldn’t have trouble, but that He has overcome the world and its fallenness, the source of trouble.
 
Psalm 112:7 says, “They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.”  As we trust in the Lord, we will have no (or reduced) fear of our circumstances.  Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.”
 
In closing, our opportunity to reduce distances is to continue to love one another while trusting the Lord’s plan for us, His disciples.  This is the mark that Jesus said would distinguish his disciples to the world.  It can be hard at times, but let us believe the best about our fellow saints.  We can trust God that He is working out all things to the good of those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) Let’s pray.
 
Lord Jesus, teach us how to love one another as You have loved us.  Glorify Your Name through this body of believers and other believers that are connected with these saints.  We pray in Jesus Name, Amen.

Whose am I? Our Belonging to One Another in Christ

 

This message is definitely a continuation of what Carl covered last week. He introduced the concept of being “at home” in the family of Christ, experiencing the bond of love that draws us together as believers. Our mysterious union with Christ is reflected in the mysterious union and connection that we have with other Christians. I remember one time during my childhood in Nepal when we were trekking in a remote part of the country as a family, approaching a village that we had never been to before. We met a teenage girl along the path, and she was surprised to see us, as foreigners were still something of a novelty in those days. But she gave a big smile and joyfully told us as a greeting, “I love Jesus, too!” I am so glad that we could vigorously affirm that and speak some words of encouragement to her. She was our sister in the Lord, and the immediate bond that was so evident and heartfelt made a deep impression on me, out there in the middle of nowhere. Since that time, I have visited so many countries and cultures and experienced warm fellowship with believers all along the way. It is indeed a great blessing to be at home in the family of Christ.
 
Carl mentioned how we all want to feel at home somewhere. It’s part of how God has created us. I recall a more recent illustration from Nepal where in 2010 we were getting ready to uproot as a family from the mission hospital community where we had lived for 3 years and move to a new area where we knew practically no one. My young son was feeling unsettled in this transition, and I asked him what we could pray for – for him. His response reflects this deep longing that we all feel. He said, “I want to pray that we can find a home.”
 
We did find a home in that place. On a scouting trip I found a house being built that the landlord was willing to fix up to make it a little easier for us: just adding some luxuries like an indoor bathroom and a kitchen sink. We moved with probably way more stuff than we should have, a whole mini-truck full, and it was quite an adventure getting it all there over a terrible road and by porter the last bit. But we made it, and felt blessed to be there. Our years in that town – and we were the first western family to ever live in that district – were very significant, especially formative in our kids’ lives. It did come to be our home as we got to know people and grew to love the stony mountain paths and very basic routines. Facing all the challenges together and in the grace of God is part of what it took to make that simple house a home.
 
I would love to know what home means to each of you. Perhaps you would relate it to the word at the center of our title today: belonging. Does “home” feel like a place to “belong”? What does it mean to belong? Or, more specifically, what does it mean for us to belong to each other in Christ?

Belonging can refer to ownership, of course. This computer belongs to me, and I have the right to do as I like with it. We might think of our belonging to Jesus in this way. He bought us with his blood, and as our Lord (as well as our Creator, actually) he has the right to do whatever he wants with us. However, I don’t think that we belong to each other in this way. We do have obligations to each other, but they are based on love, not ownership.
 
Belonging can also refer to something being in its proper place. A horse does not belong in your living room. Some things just fit somewhere, like they were made for those places. My wife belongs in pediatrics. As a job, it suits her perfectly. And she is good at it – at least most of her patients think so. Where do you belong? Do you feel like you belong in this church? Is it a good fit for you?
 
But even that definition is not what our title is referring to today. Belonging to one another in Christ means a connection, an allegiance, a level of interdependence, being a part of each other, working together with the same vision and purpose. It means that we function as a body. Thus, our focus today will be on what it means for us to be part of the body of Christ. We belong to each other as believers because we belong to him as our head.
 
One of the main passages talking about the body of Christ in this sense is in 1 Corinthians 12:
 
Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. – 1 Corinthians 12:12-20
 
This passage is beginning to speak of the unity in diversity that we have as the body of Christ. And the group of people that Paul is referring to here is not just a local fellowship of believers but actually the global body of Christ, all of his followers everywhere. Therefore it doesn’t matter if someone is a Jew or Gentile, slave or free – they can all be part of the body. The glue that holds us together is the Holy Spirit. We were baptized by one Spirit and given one Spirit to drink. The sense seems to be that we are covered and infused by the Spirit: washed by the Spirit in baptism and filled from the inside as well, so that the Holy Spirit becomes part of who we are. That is the essence of our unity with Christ. He is part of the body as well, as its head. That is why, according to our title today, we belong to one another to the extent that we are in Christ. His Spirit is the unifying force.
 
At that same time there is great diversity in the body. The body is made up of many different parts, according to God’s plan. God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be, it says here. These parts have specific functions, just as physical body parts do. We can see this quite easily at the local level, with the different gifts that we have allowing us to fulfill different roles in the church. But what about on a global scale? How is a pastor in America supposed to be different than a pastor in China, for instance? In some ways they might look similar in function, but think about what the Chinese pastor could teach the American about perseverance in the face of persecution. And consider the encouragement that the American pastor could be by motivating prayer for his Chinese brother.
 
Each part of the body is important, so there is no need for one to feel inferior to another. The way God values each person is different from the way we do. It is his Spirit working within us who makes us effective for him – that power made perfect in our weakness. So we shouldn’t elevate the great evangelist leading thousands to the Lord over the mentally handicapped person singing a simple song of praise in their own way. Both are essential to the body. The passage in 1 Corinthians 12 continues:
 
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. – 1 Corinthians 12:21-27
 
This continues the theme of valuing all parts of the body. God gives greater honor to the parts that lack it, it says. Every part having equal honor should result in mutual respect and appreciation. Unfortunately we often don’t see this across denominational lines. Christians easily look down on each other for differences in doctrinal views and practices. Someone with the Holy Spirit is my brother or sister in Christ, regards of what else they believe. We can disagree without being disagreeable, as I heard someone say this week. Our differences indicate how big God is – none of us can fully understand him.
 
God honors each part of the body, so that there should be no division. All parts ought to have equal concern for each other, bearing each other’s burdens, suffering together, and rejoicing together. Jesus told his disciples that they would be identified by the world as his followers because of their love for each other: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another,” he said in John 13:35. We so often fall far short of that, but Christians have no excuse to stop loving each other.
 
This leads us to the other main passage in the New Testament about unity in the body, in Ephesians 4. Carl used part of this last Sunday, but I would like to expand on what he said. Paul is very specific and practical here about what operating as a body really means:
 
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:
“When he ascended on high,
    he took many captives
    and gave gifts to his people.”
(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. – Ephesians 4:2-13
 
These principles apply mainly to proximate relationships, in the local body. What does it mean to bear with one another in love? It is more than just tolerating each other. The word for “bearing with” literally means to “hold up.” We need to bear each other’s burdens and make up for what is lacking in each other. Carl alluded to this last time. This is a big part of loving and honoring someone, isn’t it? And it certainly requires humility, gentleness, and patience, as Paul indicates here. Forgiveness is a key element here, too. We can easily become impatient when a brother or sister keeps falling in the same way. But Jesus tells us that we need to be willing to forgive them seventy times seven times. We mustn’t give up on them or even look down on them. Real forgiveness is a big part of bearing with one another in love.
 
Here that theme of unity also appears again. Carl pointed out that the unity of the Spirit is not something that we create, it is something that we must guard or keep. And that does take effort. Everything out there, all the forces in the world, seem to be trying to tear people apart. The bond of peace leads to unity, and unity leads to peace. This is not the kind of peace that papers over differences and conflict, but one that comes when sin and failure is dealt with honestly and truly forgiven. This requires grace, given as Christ apportioned it – in abundance. The grace that has covered our sins needs to overflow from us to cover the ways others have offended us. There is one body, Spirit, and hope. The things that unite us are much stronger than any that try to separate us.
 
This passage also mentions gifts, and the grace of Christ is also extended in these gifts that he has given us. When he ascended to heaven after his resurrection he sent the gift of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. The filling of the Spirit equips us for works of service to build up the body. For some people this means having an identifiable role as an apostle or prophet or evangelist or pastor or teacher, but all believers have some responsibility for building up the body. It is interesting to see the order here: that the works of service come before and result in unity in the faith and knowledge of the Son of God. We get to know God by serving him. Our faith is deepened, and we are drawn together in a sense of unity. Paul defines maturity here as “attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” I guess that none of us is really mature then, are we! There is always something more in the fullness of Christ for us to understand, experience, and put into practice. Continuing on in Ephesians 4,
 
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. – Ephesians 4:14-16
 
Maturity protects us from being misled. This is also a corporate function, as the body builds itself up. We are vulnerable when we are alone and isolated. We need each other. Participating in the body of Christ helps keep us all on track, as we exhort each other with the truth of who Jesus is and what he has taught us. Speaking the truth in love brings all matters into the light where they can be examined and resolved properly. Truth can be a weapon for tearing other people down, unless it is spoken in love and genuine, unselfish concern for each other’s wellbeing. There needs to be mutual understanding and trust in the relationship before speaking truth to someone else will be effective. Love allows truth to be received. The fruit of the Spirit, a list beginning with love, are these supporting ligaments that hold the body together and help it to grow – with each part doing its work under the leadership of Christ.
 
In our understanding, we often associate the body of Christ with the local church, and indeed that is our most direct experience of life together with other believers. The principles that we have been considering do apply mainly to face-to-face relationships. The word “church” appears 68 times in the text of the NIV New Testament. In about half of those, it appears to be referring to a specific local church, like when Paul sends greetings to Philemon and the church that meets in his house. Most of the rest of the times the word is used to mean the universal body of Christ, as in Ephesians 1 where it says that God has “appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” This is the church that is referred to as the bride of Christ in Revelation as well.
 
We ought to have this same balance in our thinking concerning the body that we are a part of. Where is our focus, our loyalty, our sense of responsibility? Clemson Community Church is certainly an important part of that, but it is only a part. Our effort, our resources, and our prayers should be applied in equal part to the Church with a capital C, the body of Christ around the world. I believe this will help us avoid the pitfall of focusing too much on what benefits us individually. A church that is just trying to take care of itself, meeting its own needs or protecting its own domain, will eventually die. The vision of the church needs to be outward, being a light to the world and a blessing to believers everywhere. In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, Jesus was speaking to his disciples corporately when he said,
 
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. – Matthew 5:14-16
 
The ultimate end is to bring glory to God, through the good deeds that we do, in the sight of the world. Some churches become like the lamp under the bowl. It might be cozy and warm under there, with plenty of good light, but that is not the purpose of a lamp. The lamp is supposed to give light to everyone in the house. A town on a hill cannot be hidden. If the church is doing its job everyone around will have to take notice.
 
Belonging, therefore, is not primarily for our own benefit. Yes, we need to care for each other and build each other up in various ways as we are able, but the ultimate goal is to be that light to the world. This is what sets the church apart from other social groups. You may have heard of the secular churches that exist today: people getting together weekly to have “fellowship” without God being a part of it at all. They may even sing songs and have an inspirational talk to involve them in some good cause. They are trying to fulfill our innate need as humans to have meaningful social relationships, to create groups with a sense of belonging.
 
So how are Christian churches supposed to be different? Some churches do function like social clubs, places to connect with friends, to be supported and involved. But that is not what belonging to one another in Christ is all about. We are the light of the world, the city that cannot be hidden. With that always in view we will keep from becoming too inwardly focused.
 
It will also protect us from another danger of belonging as an end in itself, and that is thinking that we are doing okay because of the group that we are a part of. We are not the ones to draw the boundaries in the body of Christ. Some people who are very different from us are equally a part of that body as well. We need to be challenged by what they have to say and the ways in which they operate. Jesus is the one to decide who is part of his body and who isn’t.
 
There is so much more that could be said about how a church should operate. I have touched on just a few ways that we should be part of the body of Christ, belonging to one another in him. Let’s review these in closing:
 
1. It does not mean ownership but it does involve responsibility. Perhaps it would be clearer if we said belonging with each other in Christ rather than to each other.
2. It means being connected, interdependent, and working together.
3. It means being part of the universal body of Christ, in all of its wonderful diversity.
4. It means recognizing the value and unique role of each individual.
5. It means relying on the Holy Spirit as the source of our unity.
6. It means forgiving and bearing with each other, in the grace of Christ.
7. It means speaking the truth in love.
8. It means letting our light shine in the world, to bring glory to God.

Who loves me? Our Home in the Family of Christ

Welcome! Today we continue our series on identity, belonging, and purpose, continuing our exploration of belonging. Two weeks ago, Tim spoke on our communion with Christ, and last week, John spoke on our intimacy with Christ. It goes without saying that spending two weeks exploring our relationship with Christ barely scratches the surface. By one count, the New Testament refers to our union with Christ over two hundred times. The entire New Testament contains 260 chapters, so that is about one reference to our union with Christ per chapter. Or to put it another way, many physical Bibles have around 200 pages in their New Testaments, so that means about one reference per page.
 
In the excellent book called Deeper by Dane Ortlund, the author mentions multiple Biblical metaphors that describe our relationship with Christ. These are super-encouraging when you reflect upon them separately but even more so together, so I want to give you a brief summary of them so that you get a glimpse of the profound depth and breadth of the benefits of us being “with” Christ. The wording here is a mix of the author’s and mine.
 
Now I thought about providing Bible verses for these metaphors, but then I decided against it, because I would rather you experience for yourselves the blessing of finding these truths in Scripture. It is quite easy to do this thanks to the technology we have today. In a search box you can simply look up “Bible verses about …” and put the topic in, and you will be given multiple links that take you to lists of relevant verses. I encourage you to do this as a part of your quiet times.
 
First is the law-court metaphor. This is about the Biblical doctrine of justification – that is, we are no longer condemned. Second is purity-restoring metaphor, about sanctification – we are no longer defiled. Third is the family-joining metaphor, adoption – we are no longer orphaned. Fourth is the relationship-restoring metaphor, reconciliation – we are no longer estranged. Fifth is the physical-cleaning metaphor, washing – we are no longer dirty, no longer soiled. Sixth is the metaphor of human trafficking and servitude, redemption – we are no longer enslaved. The seventh metaphor is financial; we could call it purchase – we are no longer in debt. The eighth metaphor concerns our release from imprisonment, liberation – we are no longer captives. Ninth is the metaphor of our second physical generation, the new birth – we are no longer unborn. Tenth is the metaphor about light, illumination – we are no longer blind. Eleventh is the metaphor about our bodies, resurrection – we are no longer dead. Our twelfth but by no means final metaphor regards our overall union with Christ, we could call it our integrating metaphor – and I’m not talking about calculus here – we are no longer alone. This commingling, intermixing, joining – whatever you want to call it, is perhaps the deepest mystery of all. But we know it is true, because God tells us in His Word that it is true.
 
And this leads well into our topic for today – as believers, not only we do we experience a mysterious supernatural joining with Christ, but God equips us so that we can also experience a supernatural bonding, a bonding in love, with one another.
 
In our title today, I carefully chose the word “Home.” What comes to mind when you think of home? I do not necessarily mean the place you are currently living at. College students, especially, are in a time of transition, and it is common to feel like you have lost your since of home, at least to some degree. And it can take many years to find that you fully have that feeling again. But if you come from a family of devoted followers of Christ, and even in some cases if not, hopefully home brings up images of times with family, more than the building in which you lived. Even if you have not experienced this, I can bet that you have longed for it.
 
Home is something that God promises us, not only in Him, but in His grand family of believers. This is something we will experience in the fulness of eternity on a scale that we cannot begin to imagine. Yes, heaven will be about Jesus, worshipping Him, spending time with Him, knowing Him and loving Him intimately, but it will also be a collective experience. We will find home not only in Him, but among our fellow believers.
 
One of my favorite stories about David involves Mephibosheth, in 2 Sam. 9. I want to read some of this, starting in verse 2, but let me first give you some background. Recall that King Saul had repeatedly disobeyed God, and God announced that he would no longer be king. Saul was told of his fate, and he became suspicious and jealous of anyone who might be on the track to becoming the next king. It soon became clear that David was experiencing the favor of God and the people, and Saul began to try to, first, thwart him, and then, kill him outright. For a long period of time, David was on the run from Saul. To his great credit, Saul’s son Jonathan, who had long been good friends with David, not only looked out for David, but then confronted his father. After a long time, fulfilling a prophecy, Saul was mortally wounded in battle, and his son Jonathan died in the same battle, leading to David finally becoming king. Now in after a typical conflict like this, the new king would seek out all the former allies and family members of the old leadership and, well, imprison or kill them, so that there would be no further threat. Now, David loved Jonathan, but not everyone knew this, and neither did people at this time know what David might be like as king. Keep this in mind as I read this passage, and also know that Mephibosheth was Jonathan’s son, so he was Saul’s grandson.
 
Now there was a servant of Saul’s household named Ziba. They summoned him to appear before David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” “At your service,” he replied. The king asked, “Is there no one still alive from the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is lame in both feet.” – 2 Samuel 9:2-3
 
This son is in fact Mephibosheth. Now, this passage does not reveal motivation, but as a long-time servant of Saul, I would have to think that this guy was extremely nervous when being called forth to appear before David. When David asked if there was anyone still alive from the house of Saul to whom he could show “God kindness,” the natural response would be to think that David was speaking, well, metaphorically. Ziba replies that there is a son of Jonathan alive, but he avoids giving his name, and he hastens to add that he is lame. Again, I wonder what Ziba is thinking. Perhaps he mentions his lameness in the hopes that David will leave him alone, as he is no threat to him. The passage continues:
 
“Where is he?” the king asked. Ziba answered, “He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar.” So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel. – 2 Samuel 9:4-5
 
A good question to ask is why the son of Jonathan was not under the care of Ziba, but instead hidden away, it seems, at someone else’s home in another city. Perhaps to keep him safe? In any case, Mephibosheth is brought to David. If in fact Ziba had feared for Saul’s descendants, this action was the realization of Ziba’s worst fears. It would follow that Mephibosheth would also be terrified of this coming encounter, as he is escorted by David’s men straight to the king. How does this encounter play out?
 
When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David said, “Mephibosheth!” “At your service,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.” Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” – 2 Samuel 9:6-8
 
Notice how David began his discussion with the phrase “Don’t be afraid.” I would assume that this was because Mephibosheth was terrified. He probably thought that his life was about to end due to his being the grandson of Saul. But the degree of the reversal is shocking – not only will  Mephibosheth live, he will be like one of David’s own sons! Mephibosheth is simply blown away by David’s kindness.
 
Then the king summoned Ziba, Saul’s steward, and said to him, “I have given your master’s grandson everything that belonged to Saul and his family. You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master’s grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table.” (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.) Then Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do whatever my lord the king commands his servant to do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons. – 2 Samuel 9:9-11
 
This true account is a beautiful picture of what has happened to us. We too were members of a household who hated God (the human household). We too were nobodies, insignificant. But God the Father, on account of Jesus’ sake, Jesus, who you could say, also died in “battle” – God sought us out because, by faith, we have become a part of Jesus’ family, and so God invites us home, home to be a part of the King of king’s table forever.
 
And just as Mephibosheth joined David with the rest of his family, so do we get to join God with the rest of His family, all the other believers, together.
 
But the kingdom of God does not only begin in heaven – it begins here on Earth. And we are privileged to be able to begin to experience home here on Earth, with our fellow believers in Christ.
What does God expect this experience to be like? Human families on Earth are a mixed bag. Epic sibling fights and rivalries, arguments between Mom and Dad, and so on, are hallmarks of our blood family homes. It should not be so and it need not be so, but it often is, because we are all sinners, and operating apart from the fellowship available to us in Christ, we tend to mess up our family relationships just as we tend to mess up absolutely everything else we do as humans. And unfortunately, there can be non-godly behavior and divisions among the family of believers as well. But this is not what God desires, and neither does it have to be.  
 
As fellow followers of Christ, we share something that non-believers do not share – we share the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit does countless things in our lives – but one of the things it does, if we abide in Christ, is make us able to love one another, deeply, in word and in action. Note that we all don’t have different Holy Spirits, or even different “pieces” of the Holy Spirit – there is only one Holy Spirit, and He lives in all of our hearts. And He is always working to draw us together, to make us into the loving family of Christ, so that we can begin to experience home here on Earth. This makes me think of Ephesians 4:
 
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 4:2-6
 
Note that this passage doesn’t say we are to create the unity of the Spirit; the Holy Spirit is already here with us; our task is to make every effort to “keep” it. The Greek word translated as “keep” is tayrayo, a word means to keep an eye on. It can be translated as guard, but there are different Greek words that mean to be a military guard, preventing someone from escaping. That is not the idea here. The Spirit is not trying to escape; it is trying to stay! It is more like to be on the watch for someone else who tries to steal it away. It is our lack of humility, our lack of gentleness, our lack of bearing with one another in love, that we need to watch for.  Because of the Holy Spirit’s influence, home is what we will experience if we abide in Christ in humility, gentleness, patience, and longsuffering. I really think this is an important point – we don’t need to artificially try to manufacture a loving community of believers; we simply need to get our fleshly selves out of the way of what the Holy Spirit is doing.
 
I think it is important to explain that the “unity” of the Spirit is not at all the same thing as “uniformity.” In fact, God loves the opposite of uniformity; He promises that our future home will be comprised of people from all nations and cultures. We should be especially welcoming to Christian believers who are not like us. I think of a passage in Galatians 3:
 
So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:26-28
 
The things that unite us – the things of Christ – may be small in number in comparison to the things that make us different, but these things are deeper, more profound. They speak to the things that are most important to us, and we should agree what these most important things are. We should all rejoice as we hear of new believers coming to Christ, and we should all care deeply when some of us suffer, even if it is happening on the other side of the Earth.
 
One of the things I have experienced repeatedly among believers that I do not experience with anyone else is the ability to reconnect with someone after a long period of time, even 10 years or more, and as we talk about Christ, about spiritual things, about what the Lord has taught us and had us experience, it is as if nothing has changed. In fact, I have repeatedly experienced deeper connections with these supposed “strangers” than I have had previously. I believe the reason for this is that the Holy Spirit has helped us to grow, and now we are even more one in Christ than we were, because we are even more deeply connected to Him.
 
I would strongly urge you to develop the art and skill of having meaningful and personal spiritual conversations with other believers. I know that this is easy for some people and a much greater challenge for others, but even if it is hard for you, I encourage you to work at it. I know that this did not come easy for me at all at the beginning of my life as a new believer. I felt so self-conscious that I couldn’t pray around others, and, as I wasn’t good at “regular” conversations anyway, the idea of having a spiritual conversation was terrifying. But I had good friends, friends who knew how to fill in the “gaps,” friends who were humble and gentle, who allowed the Holy Spirit to guide them to help me grow. If you are someone who is more comfortable doing this, I encourage you to gently befriend those who aren’t. And if you are uncomfortable, I encourage you to keep it simple. Remember that Jesus loves the simple prayer “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner,” and He also loves the man who simply said “All I know, is that I was blind, but now I see!” 
 
Coming back to the topic of unity versus uniformity, I encourage you to befriend those who are unlike you. Single people can become great friends in Christ with married people, the young can become friends with the well-seasoned, and so on. In Faculty Commons, faculty (including me) often say that faculty best “get” faculty, and this is true. There are things I go through on campus that I don’t share here – not only because it might get me in trouble – but because I know it is far beyond the realm of most of your experiences, and you simply won’t understand. But I do have wonderful relationships with many of you, and I desire it to be all of you, because although my job may take a great part of my day, it is our lives in Christ that are infinitely more important and meaningful. Faculty Commons at Clemson has a wonderful person who assists us as a Faculty Commons staff member, and I feel like we connect on a very deep level, even though he is not a faculty member. And I feel the same way about his wife, who often cooks food for us. Why? Because they are humble, and caring, and allow the Holy Spirit to orchestrate their lives. I know of other faculty members who have broken down the “walls” so as to have deep relationships with their former students who are believers, as well as faculty who have great spiritual relationships with the janitorial staff.
 
The world is supposed to marvel at how believers can be so different and yet have this oneness in Christ Jesus. It should draw them to Christ!
 
In John 17, shortly before Jesus goes to the cross, He prays for His disciples multiple things including that the Father would protect them so that they could be one as He and God are one. He then goes on to pray for all believers, those who are the spiritual “children” of the disciples, and that includes us. And this is what He prays:
 
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me. I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are one—I in them and You in Me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that You sent Me and have loved them even as you have loved Me. – John 17:20-23
 
I remember a long conversation I had years ago, with a person who grew up under a mix of religions, including Hinduism. We talked for what was actually hours about what our religions teach. Mostly, I remember, he talked, and I listened. As this went on, I prayed that God would give me an insightful question to ask him. I believe that God powerfully answered that prayer. We were talking about what happens after you die, and he was explaining the how the goal in Hinduism is to attain Nirvana, paradise, after death. And then God I believe gave me my opening. I affirmed with him that there are indeed similarities between Christianity and Hinduism (a theme he kept trying to promote) in that we believe in life after death, and even in the concept of a final, eternal destination (although of course Christians do not believe in reincarnation as Hindus describe), but, I asked him what that ultimate “oneness” actually means in Hinduism. My specific question was, “When you achieve Nirvana, are you still ‘you’?” The personality, the memories, and so on, are you still you? I explained that in Christianity, we are still us, only we are a “better” us. But we still have our memories, we still have our distinctives, and in fact, our unity is not about unison at all, but rather the opposite (as we have been talking about here). This question caused him to actually panic. He started reciting, quickly and quietly, some things he had memorized, as if he was a computer given an endless loop to answer. He finally said that he didn’t know. I believe that God used this question to make him spiritually interested in Christianity. In any case, after this, he spent more and more time exploring Christianity, and then he finally gave his life to Christ. Before he moved away after graduation from Clemson, he spent time here at this church. I am sure you old timers remember him.  
 
“Then the world will know that You sent Me and have loved them even as you have loved Me.” As I was writing up this message and reflecting on this verse, memories of this student brought tears to my eyes. It is the Holy Spirit that moves us to tears. What we share, in Christ, this realization that we are part of  “A Grander Story,” (to quote a great book title) and the realization that God equips us through His Spirit to experience loving fellowship together so powerful, so meaningful, that words fail to express it adequately, may make us all cry. Our Lord is so good!
 
I want to take my final minutes to talk about what if you feel like you have never experienced “home”, and perhaps feel like you are incapable of experiencing “home” because your home life growing up was pretty dysfunctional. Let me first say that I completely understand. I know that my parents dealt with their own traumas, and that these traumas significantly affected their abilities to function as adults. My dad was extremely reserved when it came to showing love and emotion. I now know he loved us as best he could. My parents were not believers.
 
My mom was extremely nervous, easily became extremely angry, and also suffered from alcoholism. In her better moments, she did express her love to me. Being the older sibling, I left home three years before my sister, and I know that things became even worse after I left. There is no question that my parents’ faults affected both of us in significant ways. We both share aspects of the personalities of our parents. I can struggle both with expressing love and with anger. And although God has helped me grow significantly in these areas, I am still frustrated with myself when I revert back to these old patterns. I know that there are home situations that are dramatically worse than what I experienced, horrifically worse. But I think I understand that people cope with what they are forced to deal with. I considered my somewhat dysfunctional home life as still home, and I missed it especially when I went across the country to graduate school. But upon marriage, and children, I knew by then that I did not want to perpetuate what I had experienced. I now marvel at what God did in my family, in my home. When our kids were little, when I would come home, they would all run to me, arms open wide, shouting “Daddy!”, and as for Mimi, I don’t even know where to begin. She has brought tremendous healing to my life, even before we were married, and she continues to model Christ’s love for me, every single day. Anyway, when I would come home in those days, it was all I could do not to cry every evening as I wondered, how in the world did I get to be so fortunate as to experience this? I am truly blessed. I kind of miss the days when our kids were little and did this each day as I came home, but I am greatly enjoying these new chapters of life, as our kids have grown up, and now I can love them as the beautiful Christ-loving adults that they have become or are becoming. I am still truly blessed.
 
Now, not everyone is called into a life of marriage, and it is certainly possible to be exceedingly blessed apart from marriage. Paul even talks about the benefits of remaining single as pertains to a life of ministry. But God has chosen to bless me through marriage and family life, to bring healing to me, and I know that God has done the same for some of you.
 
But my blessings do not end there. You, all of you, are also home for me. Whether I have known you for a few months or for 30 years, you are my treasured family in Christ, and I love you. Again, I don’t know how I got to be so fortunate to experience this, but I am incredibly thankful for all of you, and I know that I am truly blessed.
 
My deeply heartfelt prayer for all of us, and especially for you if you too had a far-from-ideal home life growing up, is that, here, in this place, surrounded by incredible believers who deeply love the Lord, you would find home.
 
And may we make Christ’s body home for one another. As a “homework assignment” this week, I encourage you to reach out to someone you do not usually reach out to, whether to talk on the phone, grab a coffee, or whatever seems fit to you, as the Lord leads.
 
May we all yield to Holy Spirit, in humility, love, patience, and forbearance, so that this home for the Lord would be like a pleasing aroma to the Lord. In this Mordor of a world, may we find the Shire in one another, in Christ. And may we all be on the lookout for Mephibosheths to lovingly adopt into our home.