Who loves me? Our Home in the Family of Christ

Welcome! Today we continue our series on identity, belonging, and purpose, continuing our exploration of belonging. Two weeks ago, Tim spoke on our communion with Christ, and last week, John spoke on our intimacy with Christ. It goes without saying that spending two weeks exploring our relationship with Christ barely scratches the surface. By one count, the New Testament refers to our union with Christ over two hundred times. The entire New Testament contains 260 chapters, so that is about one reference to our union with Christ per chapter. Or to put it another way, many physical Bibles have around 200 pages in their New Testaments, so that means about one reference per page.
 
In the excellent book called Deeper by Dane Ortlund, the author mentions multiple Biblical metaphors that describe our relationship with Christ. These are super-encouraging when you reflect upon them separately but even more so together, so I want to give you a brief summary of them so that you get a glimpse of the profound depth and breadth of the benefits of us being “with” Christ. The wording here is a mix of the author’s and mine.
 
Now I thought about providing Bible verses for these metaphors, but then I decided against it, because I would rather you experience for yourselves the blessing of finding these truths in Scripture. It is quite easy to do this thanks to the technology we have today. In a search box you can simply look up “Bible verses about …” and put the topic in, and you will be given multiple links that take you to lists of relevant verses. I encourage you to do this as a part of your quiet times.
 
First is the law-court metaphor. This is about the Biblical doctrine of justification – that is, we are no longer condemned. Second is purity-restoring metaphor, about sanctification – we are no longer defiled. Third is the family-joining metaphor, adoption – we are no longer orphaned. Fourth is the relationship-restoring metaphor, reconciliation – we are no longer estranged. Fifth is the physical-cleaning metaphor, washing – we are no longer dirty, no longer soiled. Sixth is the metaphor of human trafficking and servitude, redemption – we are no longer enslaved. The seventh metaphor is financial; we could call it purchase – we are no longer in debt. The eighth metaphor concerns our release from imprisonment, liberation – we are no longer captives. Ninth is the metaphor of our second physical generation, the new birth – we are no longer unborn. Tenth is the metaphor about light, illumination – we are no longer blind. Eleventh is the metaphor about our bodies, resurrection – we are no longer dead. Our twelfth but by no means final metaphor regards our overall union with Christ, we could call it our integrating metaphor – and I’m not talking about calculus here – we are no longer alone. This commingling, intermixing, joining – whatever you want to call it, is perhaps the deepest mystery of all. But we know it is true, because God tells us in His Word that it is true.
 
And this leads well into our topic for today – as believers, not only we do we experience a mysterious supernatural joining with Christ, but God equips us so that we can also experience a supernatural bonding, a bonding in love, with one another.
 
In our title today, I carefully chose the word “Home.” What comes to mind when you think of home? I do not necessarily mean the place you are currently living at. College students, especially, are in a time of transition, and it is common to feel like you have lost your since of home, at least to some degree. And it can take many years to find that you fully have that feeling again. But if you come from a family of devoted followers of Christ, and even in some cases if not, hopefully home brings up images of times with family, more than the building in which you lived. Even if you have not experienced this, I can bet that you have longed for it.
 
Home is something that God promises us, not only in Him, but in His grand family of believers. This is something we will experience in the fulness of eternity on a scale that we cannot begin to imagine. Yes, heaven will be about Jesus, worshipping Him, spending time with Him, knowing Him and loving Him intimately, but it will also be a collective experience. We will find home not only in Him, but among our fellow believers.
 
One of my favorite stories about David involves Mephibosheth, in 2 Sam. 9. I want to read some of this, starting in verse 2, but let me first give you some background. Recall that King Saul had repeatedly disobeyed God, and God announced that he would no longer be king. Saul was told of his fate, and he became suspicious and jealous of anyone who might be on the track to becoming the next king. It soon became clear that David was experiencing the favor of God and the people, and Saul began to try to, first, thwart him, and then, kill him outright. For a long period of time, David was on the run from Saul. To his great credit, Saul’s son Jonathan, who had long been good friends with David, not only looked out for David, but then confronted his father. After a long time, fulfilling a prophecy, Saul was mortally wounded in battle, and his son Jonathan died in the same battle, leading to David finally becoming king. Now in after a typical conflict like this, the new king would seek out all the former allies and family members of the old leadership and, well, imprison or kill them, so that there would be no further threat. Now, David loved Jonathan, but not everyone knew this, and neither did people at this time know what David might be like as king. Keep this in mind as I read this passage, and also know that Mephibosheth was Jonathan’s son, so he was Saul’s grandson.
 
Now there was a servant of Saul’s household named Ziba. They summoned him to appear before David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” “At your service,” he replied. The king asked, “Is there no one still alive from the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is lame in both feet.” – 2 Samuel 9:2-3
 
This son is in fact Mephibosheth. Now, this passage does not reveal motivation, but as a long-time servant of Saul, I would have to think that this guy was extremely nervous when being called forth to appear before David. When David asked if there was anyone still alive from the house of Saul to whom he could show “God kindness,” the natural response would be to think that David was speaking, well, metaphorically. Ziba replies that there is a son of Jonathan alive, but he avoids giving his name, and he hastens to add that he is lame. Again, I wonder what Ziba is thinking. Perhaps he mentions his lameness in the hopes that David will leave him alone, as he is no threat to him. The passage continues:
 
“Where is he?” the king asked. Ziba answered, “He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar.” So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel. – 2 Samuel 9:4-5
 
A good question to ask is why the son of Jonathan was not under the care of Ziba, but instead hidden away, it seems, at someone else’s home in another city. Perhaps to keep him safe? In any case, Mephibosheth is brought to David. If in fact Ziba had feared for Saul’s descendants, this action was the realization of Ziba’s worst fears. It would follow that Mephibosheth would also be terrified of this coming encounter, as he is escorted by David’s men straight to the king. How does this encounter play out?
 
When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David said, “Mephibosheth!” “At your service,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.” Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” – 2 Samuel 9:6-8
 
Notice how David began his discussion with the phrase “Don’t be afraid.” I would assume that this was because Mephibosheth was terrified. He probably thought that his life was about to end due to his being the grandson of Saul. But the degree of the reversal is shocking – not only will  Mephibosheth live, he will be like one of David’s own sons! Mephibosheth is simply blown away by David’s kindness.
 
Then the king summoned Ziba, Saul’s steward, and said to him, “I have given your master’s grandson everything that belonged to Saul and his family. You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master’s grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table.” (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.) Then Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do whatever my lord the king commands his servant to do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons. – 2 Samuel 9:9-11
 
This true account is a beautiful picture of what has happened to us. We too were members of a household who hated God (the human household). We too were nobodies, insignificant. But God the Father, on account of Jesus’ sake, Jesus, who you could say, also died in “battle” – God sought us out because, by faith, we have become a part of Jesus’ family, and so God invites us home, home to be a part of the King of king’s table forever.
 
And just as Mephibosheth joined David with the rest of his family, so do we get to join God with the rest of His family, all the other believers, together.
 
But the kingdom of God does not only begin in heaven – it begins here on Earth. And we are privileged to be able to begin to experience home here on Earth, with our fellow believers in Christ.
What does God expect this experience to be like? Human families on Earth are a mixed bag. Epic sibling fights and rivalries, arguments between Mom and Dad, and so on, are hallmarks of our blood family homes. It should not be so and it need not be so, but it often is, because we are all sinners, and operating apart from the fellowship available to us in Christ, we tend to mess up our family relationships just as we tend to mess up absolutely everything else we do as humans. And unfortunately, there can be non-godly behavior and divisions among the family of believers as well. But this is not what God desires, and neither does it have to be.  
 
As fellow followers of Christ, we share something that non-believers do not share – we share the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit does countless things in our lives – but one of the things it does, if we abide in Christ, is make us able to love one another, deeply, in word and in action. Note that we all don’t have different Holy Spirits, or even different “pieces” of the Holy Spirit – there is only one Holy Spirit, and He lives in all of our hearts. And He is always working to draw us together, to make us into the loving family of Christ, so that we can begin to experience home here on Earth. This makes me think of Ephesians 4:
 
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. – Ephesians 4:2-6
 
Note that this passage doesn’t say we are to create the unity of the Spirit; the Holy Spirit is already here with us; our task is to make every effort to “keep” it. The Greek word translated as “keep” is tayrayo, a word means to keep an eye on. It can be translated as guard, but there are different Greek words that mean to be a military guard, preventing someone from escaping. That is not the idea here. The Spirit is not trying to escape; it is trying to stay! It is more like to be on the watch for someone else who tries to steal it away. It is our lack of humility, our lack of gentleness, our lack of bearing with one another in love, that we need to watch for.  Because of the Holy Spirit’s influence, home is what we will experience if we abide in Christ in humility, gentleness, patience, and longsuffering. I really think this is an important point – we don’t need to artificially try to manufacture a loving community of believers; we simply need to get our fleshly selves out of the way of what the Holy Spirit is doing.
 
I think it is important to explain that the “unity” of the Spirit is not at all the same thing as “uniformity.” In fact, God loves the opposite of uniformity; He promises that our future home will be comprised of people from all nations and cultures. We should be especially welcoming to Christian believers who are not like us. I think of a passage in Galatians 3:
 
So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:26-28
 
The things that unite us – the things of Christ – may be small in number in comparison to the things that make us different, but these things are deeper, more profound. They speak to the things that are most important to us, and we should agree what these most important things are. We should all rejoice as we hear of new believers coming to Christ, and we should all care deeply when some of us suffer, even if it is happening on the other side of the Earth.
 
One of the things I have experienced repeatedly among believers that I do not experience with anyone else is the ability to reconnect with someone after a long period of time, even 10 years or more, and as we talk about Christ, about spiritual things, about what the Lord has taught us and had us experience, it is as if nothing has changed. In fact, I have repeatedly experienced deeper connections with these supposed “strangers” than I have had previously. I believe the reason for this is that the Holy Spirit has helped us to grow, and now we are even more one in Christ than we were, because we are even more deeply connected to Him.
 
I would strongly urge you to develop the art and skill of having meaningful and personal spiritual conversations with other believers. I know that this is easy for some people and a much greater challenge for others, but even if it is hard for you, I encourage you to work at it. I know that this did not come easy for me at all at the beginning of my life as a new believer. I felt so self-conscious that I couldn’t pray around others, and, as I wasn’t good at “regular” conversations anyway, the idea of having a spiritual conversation was terrifying. But I had good friends, friends who knew how to fill in the “gaps,” friends who were humble and gentle, who allowed the Holy Spirit to guide them to help me grow. If you are someone who is more comfortable doing this, I encourage you to gently befriend those who aren’t. And if you are uncomfortable, I encourage you to keep it simple. Remember that Jesus loves the simple prayer “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner,” and He also loves the man who simply said “All I know, is that I was blind, but now I see!” 
 
Coming back to the topic of unity versus uniformity, I encourage you to befriend those who are unlike you. Single people can become great friends in Christ with married people, the young can become friends with the well-seasoned, and so on. In Faculty Commons, faculty (including me) often say that faculty best “get” faculty, and this is true. There are things I go through on campus that I don’t share here – not only because it might get me in trouble – but because I know it is far beyond the realm of most of your experiences, and you simply won’t understand. But I do have wonderful relationships with many of you, and I desire it to be all of you, because although my job may take a great part of my day, it is our lives in Christ that are infinitely more important and meaningful. Faculty Commons at Clemson has a wonderful person who assists us as a Faculty Commons staff member, and I feel like we connect on a very deep level, even though he is not a faculty member. And I feel the same way about his wife, who often cooks food for us. Why? Because they are humble, and caring, and allow the Holy Spirit to orchestrate their lives. I know of other faculty members who have broken down the “walls” so as to have deep relationships with their former students who are believers, as well as faculty who have great spiritual relationships with the janitorial staff.
 
The world is supposed to marvel at how believers can be so different and yet have this oneness in Christ Jesus. It should draw them to Christ!
 
In John 17, shortly before Jesus goes to the cross, He prays for His disciples multiple things including that the Father would protect them so that they could be one as He and God are one. He then goes on to pray for all believers, those who are the spiritual “children” of the disciples, and that includes us. And this is what He prays:
 
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me. I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are one—I in them and You in Me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that You sent Me and have loved them even as you have loved Me. – John 17:20-23
 
I remember a long conversation I had years ago, with a person who grew up under a mix of religions, including Hinduism. We talked for what was actually hours about what our religions teach. Mostly, I remember, he talked, and I listened. As this went on, I prayed that God would give me an insightful question to ask him. I believe that God powerfully answered that prayer. We were talking about what happens after you die, and he was explaining the how the goal in Hinduism is to attain Nirvana, paradise, after death. And then God I believe gave me my opening. I affirmed with him that there are indeed similarities between Christianity and Hinduism (a theme he kept trying to promote) in that we believe in life after death, and even in the concept of a final, eternal destination (although of course Christians do not believe in reincarnation as Hindus describe), but, I asked him what that ultimate “oneness” actually means in Hinduism. My specific question was, “When you achieve Nirvana, are you still ‘you’?” The personality, the memories, and so on, are you still you? I explained that in Christianity, we are still us, only we are a “better” us. But we still have our memories, we still have our distinctives, and in fact, our unity is not about unison at all, but rather the opposite (as we have been talking about here). This question caused him to actually panic. He started reciting, quickly and quietly, some things he had memorized, as if he was a computer given an endless loop to answer. He finally said that he didn’t know. I believe that God used this question to make him spiritually interested in Christianity. In any case, after this, he spent more and more time exploring Christianity, and then he finally gave his life to Christ. Before he moved away after graduation from Clemson, he spent time here at this church. I am sure you old timers remember him.  
 
“Then the world will know that You sent Me and have loved them even as you have loved Me.” As I was writing up this message and reflecting on this verse, memories of this student brought tears to my eyes. It is the Holy Spirit that moves us to tears. What we share, in Christ, this realization that we are part of  “A Grander Story,” (to quote a great book title) and the realization that God equips us through His Spirit to experience loving fellowship together so powerful, so meaningful, that words fail to express it adequately, may make us all cry. Our Lord is so good!
 
I want to take my final minutes to talk about what if you feel like you have never experienced “home”, and perhaps feel like you are incapable of experiencing “home” because your home life growing up was pretty dysfunctional. Let me first say that I completely understand. I know that my parents dealt with their own traumas, and that these traumas significantly affected their abilities to function as adults. My dad was extremely reserved when it came to showing love and emotion. I now know he loved us as best he could. My parents were not believers.
 
My mom was extremely nervous, easily became extremely angry, and also suffered from alcoholism. In her better moments, she did express her love to me. Being the older sibling, I left home three years before my sister, and I know that things became even worse after I left. There is no question that my parents’ faults affected both of us in significant ways. We both share aspects of the personalities of our parents. I can struggle both with expressing love and with anger. And although God has helped me grow significantly in these areas, I am still frustrated with myself when I revert back to these old patterns. I know that there are home situations that are dramatically worse than what I experienced, horrifically worse. But I think I understand that people cope with what they are forced to deal with. I considered my somewhat dysfunctional home life as still home, and I missed it especially when I went across the country to graduate school. But upon marriage, and children, I knew by then that I did not want to perpetuate what I had experienced. I now marvel at what God did in my family, in my home. When our kids were little, when I would come home, they would all run to me, arms open wide, shouting “Daddy!”, and as for Mimi, I don’t even know where to begin. She has brought tremendous healing to my life, even before we were married, and she continues to model Christ’s love for me, every single day. Anyway, when I would come home in those days, it was all I could do not to cry every evening as I wondered, how in the world did I get to be so fortunate as to experience this? I am truly blessed. I kind of miss the days when our kids were little and did this each day as I came home, but I am greatly enjoying these new chapters of life, as our kids have grown up, and now I can love them as the beautiful Christ-loving adults that they have become or are becoming. I am still truly blessed.
 
Now, not everyone is called into a life of marriage, and it is certainly possible to be exceedingly blessed apart from marriage. Paul even talks about the benefits of remaining single as pertains to a life of ministry. But God has chosen to bless me through marriage and family life, to bring healing to me, and I know that God has done the same for some of you.
 
But my blessings do not end there. You, all of you, are also home for me. Whether I have known you for a few months or for 30 years, you are my treasured family in Christ, and I love you. Again, I don’t know how I got to be so fortunate to experience this, but I am incredibly thankful for all of you, and I know that I am truly blessed.
 
My deeply heartfelt prayer for all of us, and especially for you if you too had a far-from-ideal home life growing up, is that, here, in this place, surrounded by incredible believers who deeply love the Lord, you would find home.
 
And may we make Christ’s body home for one another. As a “homework assignment” this week, I encourage you to reach out to someone you do not usually reach out to, whether to talk on the phone, grab a coffee, or whatever seems fit to you, as the Lord leads.
 
May we all yield to Holy Spirit, in humility, love, patience, and forbearance, so that this home for the Lord would be like a pleasing aroma to the Lord. In this Mordor of a world, may we find the Shire in one another, in Christ. And may we all be on the lookout for Mephibosheths to lovingly adopt into our home.