1 Corinthians 7:17-40
The message opened with the first 2 minutes of this clip…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFiljc9NVJs
Does anyone recognize which movie that clip comes from? It’s from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. That clip came to mind yesterday when I was
working on the message. I had added this
thought, “even though it is not a command what Paul has written is clearly a
better course of action.” I’m kind of
weird, but I often see life as a big story.
I’m always looking for themes and seeing parallels in movies and other
media.
That particular scene where the horse Philippe looks first down the
dark path and then the cheerful path cracks me up. He purses his lips, shakes his head, and then
tries to go down the bright and safe path.
I like to think I’m like Philippe, always choosing the right path.
In reality, I’m afraid I’ve been a lot like Maurice the old man. He comes to the sign post, but the signs are
illegible or contradictory, kind of like the signs our world gives. He looks at his map but he’s not reading it
correctly. Then, he chooses the wrong
path and later blames his error on Philippe.
“Where have you taken us, Philippe?”
Today, we’re going to look at a better course of action. We’re going to hear some things which may be
surprising. Before I was married, I read
and reread these passages in I Corinthians 6 and 7, I don’t know how many
times. I was looking for loopholes, for
shortcuts. I wanted the Bible to say
something different about purity than what it said. In the end, I was like Maurice. Even though I had a map, I wasn’t able or
willing to follow what it said. By God’s
grace, I survived, but it wasn’t without its share of pain.
We’re going on in our study of I Corinthians. We are continuing with thoughts which Tim began
sharing on a couple of weeks ago and Fred spoke about last week. So before we go into today’s passage, let’s
go back to the summaries from those two messages.
In the first 6 chapters of I Corinthians, Paul is responding to
specific problems which were communicated to him by visitors from Corinth. One of those problem areas was sexual
immorality or sexual promiscuity. From the
end of chapter 6 (v.12-20), Tim gave this summary:
1. Christ has indeed set us free, but we should not use that freedom
as an excuse for sin.
2. God desires intimacy with us, but sexual immorality of any kind
will draw us away from that. We need to evaluate all decisions that we make (large
and small) in light of our relationship with Him, fleeing from temptation when
we need to.
3. We need each other. As we gather, we are an expression of the body
of Christ. As we bear each other’s burdens in this area of purity, we will be
able to glorify God together more and more.
Going into chapter 7, Paul begins with the phrase, “Now for the
matters you wrote about …” (He will drop hints like this in chapters 8 and 12
regarding other questions.) So in addition
to particular problems in the church, the Corinthians have asked Paul some
general questions as well. From the
beginning of chapter 7 (v.1-16), Fred gave this summary:
1. Sexual promiscuity outside of marriage has serious negative
consequences on individuals, on the family, and on society as a whole as can be
seen in today’s culture.
2. A believer who is single should not seek to marry an unbeliever
lest they expose themselves and their family to the severe negative consequence
of sin (i.e.- sexually transmitted diseases and physical abuse, emotional abuse
and spiritual suffering and pain).
3. The ideal marriage is between a believing man and a believing woman
that have kept themselves pure before marriage and who strive by the power of
the Holy Spirit to keep their wedding vows that they made to God until parted
by death.
4. If one spouse gets saved but their unbelieving spouse wants to
leave the marriage, let the unbelieving spouse leave. In this case, God has called the believer to
peace.
Today, we will complete chapter 7.
Our passage is going to continue to focus on advice concerning
marriage. There is advice for single
people, married people, and previously marrieds, effectively something for
everyone. So with the stage now set,
let’s take a moment and pray, asking God to give us insight into these next
verses and how they should be applied in our lives:
Father God, you have called us out of destructive lifestyles which our
culture espouses. You call us away from
immorality. You direct us to purity and
holiness. I pray that we would see this
path as the better way. I pray for each
heart that we would be satisfied in your ways and that our eyes would not
wander after things which ultimately steal, kill, and destroy. Show us how to be satisfied in You. I pray this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Let’s go ahead with the first section from today’s passage:
Nevertheless, each one should
retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has
called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. Was a man already
circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man
uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. Circumcision is
nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. Each
one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. Were
you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can
gain your freedom, do so. For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord
is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is
Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers,
each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him
to. –1 Corinthians 7:17-24
Paul begins with the word “nevertheless” because the previous passage
ended with the allowance for unbelieving spouses to leave in cases where they
did not want to remain with a believing spouse.
If the unbeliever wants to leave, they should be allowed to leave. However, if they want to stay, they should be
allowed to stay. The believing spouse
shouldn’t try to make a change, but rather “retain the place in life that the
Lord assigned.”
This passage goes on to expand this thought beyond marriage. “Nevertheless,” we all have been assigned a
place. We as believers should not be seeking
to always change our position or move around.
That seems downright contrary to our American culture. We love to change our position. We want to seek opportunity to move up. When we don’t feel like we’re getting our
“itch scratched”, we want to hop churches or change groups.
Paul says this “staying put” is a rule he lays down in all the
churches. He applies this retaining our
place to cultural/religious background, economic station, and social
order. I don’t know about you, but this
seems almost like crazy talk. Have you
all heard of the professional Facebook, LinkedIn? (Microsoft Word’s spell check
recognizes both Facebook and LinkedIn without spaces as correctly spelled
words.) LinkedIn is literally a
networking site almost exclusively for the purpose of job hopping. Is there anyone of us that doesn’t crane our
neck around looking for where the grass might possibly be greener? I know I do it. It is only by God’s grace and regular
reminder that I don’t “chase” the wrong opportunity.
TobyMac has a song titled Me Without You, and the chorus says, “And
where would I be without You … I'd be packin' my bags when I need to stay; I'd
be chasin' every breeze that blows my way; I'd be building my kingdom just to
watch it fade away; it's true; that's me without You.”
The passage does not say that we can never change our position. However, it seems that a change of our
position should always occur as a result of the Lord’s leading. That leading seems like it should be a strong
one. Do you ever pray and ask God
something and then if he doesn’t say no, you take that as a yes? This passage seems to lean the other
way. If you pray about changing
something and God doesn’t say yes, then the answer is probably “sit tight.” You should stay put. The only case that is given as automatic is
the case of a slave gaining his freedom.
The slave is not told to run away, but if the chance for freedom comes,
he should take it.
Our goal then should be to live contentedly for the Lord in whatever
economic, social or cultural station God has placed you. It is not wrong to improve your condition,
but we should be content at each stage.
This is not what we see in the world.
People are constantly complaining.
I find myself complaining about some situation nearly every day. This is not the right path.
Chasing after the things of the world puts us in bondage. You were purchased at a great price. Do not give yourself over to pursuits of
status or position, but rather wait on the Lord. If the Lord leads or sends, by all means
go. If not, wait on Him.
Let’s continue with the passage in verse 25:
Now about virgins: I have no
command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is
trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to
remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried?
Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a
virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles
in this life, and I want to spare you this.
–1 Corinthians 7:25-28
In last week’s passage, I Corinthians 7:10, it says, “I give this
command (not I, but the Lord) …” Then in chapter 7 verse 12, it says, “To the
rest I say this (I, not the Lord) …” So, what does Paul mean when He says, “I
have no command from the Lord?” Does
this mean that we’re getting Paul’s opinion on the topic and we can just take
it or leave it?
In the case of 1 Corinthians 7:10, where it says, “I give this command
(not I, but the Lord)…” The command is “A wife must not separate from her
husband.” The full command is given by
Jesus in Luke 16:18 “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman
commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” It is clear there is a command spoke by the
Lord.
I think Paul is taking a position of humility as he is writing. He’s saying, I can’t quote Jesus on this, so
these are “my” words. However, at the
end of the chapter, Paul will also humbly assert that he has the Holy Spirit
guiding his writing.
This raises a rather interesting question. Did Paul know he was writing Scripture when
he wrote I Corinthians?
It seems possible that he didn’t know because not all letters Paul
wrote became Scripture. There are
several references to other letters throughout the epistles. Paul also wrote different types of
letters. Some were intended to be
circulated among several churches. Those
may have been letters which he expected to have longevity. But in at least one case (Colossians 4:16),
there is reference to a letter to the Laodiceans which was intended to be
shared with the Colossians, but that letter is not in Scripture.
1 Corinthians was written in response to specific problems in a
specific place and to answer their specific questions. It is likely that Paul was not thinking of a
wider audience. I imagine that when Paul
was finished writing 1 Corinthians, he glorified God thanking Him for allowing
Paul to communicate what was needed in that situation.
I expect that Paul always wrote prayerfully and was directed by the
Spirit. 1 Peter 4:11 says that those who
speak should speak as though they speak the very words of God. It really shouldn’t be any different for
us. It should be our desire to speak,
write, type in the Spirit. When we start
off thinking only in or from the flesh, trouble is not far off.
So, independent of what Paul thought at the time, if it appears in
Scripture, God must agree with what Paul wrote or else Paul wouldn’t have
written it or it wouldn’t have been included in Scripture. Therefore, as we look at this passage, it
seems best to conclude that even though it is not a command what Paul has
written is clearly a better course of action.
Addressing virgins refers to those who have not been married. Paul is recommending those not married to
stay unmarried. What does it mean
regarding “the present crisis?” Likely
it means the pressures of living the Christian life in an immoral and hostile
environment. Scripture speaks often about
believers facing suffering and persecution.
It is a greater hardship to care for a spouse and family in those times. Corinth’s church was not in a healthy
situation either. Likely, these
unmarried people did not have the best examples or clear thinking about healthy
marriage relationships due to the way problems were being handled.
Likewise, those who are married should not seek a divorce. They are already committed to one another and
united as one flesh. Therefore,
separating them would do more harm than good, not to mention violate a command
of Christ.
Paul makes it clear that getting married or pursuing marriage is not a
sin. He is honest that marriage though
something wonderful instituted by God Himself does bring trouble with it in the
fallen world in which we live. Paul and
God seek to protect us with this advice.
Why? [Let’s look at the next few
verses.]
What I mean, brothers, is that
the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had
none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were
not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use
the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its
present form is passing away. –1
Corinthians 7:29-31
The time for accomplishing the Lord’s work is limited. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the
affairs of the world. Material things
fade, fail and disappear. Don’t devote
your life to those kinds of things.
It’s time to put your game face on.
It’s time to get down to business, the Lord’s business, to things that
will last forever.
I collect all kinds of leadership quotes at work. Some serious, some funny. They come from all kinds of sources. One of the quotes talks about the importance
of leaders managing their disappointments well rather than letting things pass
through unfiltered onto their followers.
We as believers are called to manage our emotions, too. The calling is not to put up a façade. The calling is not to “dress up God” to hide
the difficulties we face or the joys we experience. The calling is to give ourselves fully to the
Lord and His work. We are His. He has bought us with His blood. And that means we allow the Lord to temper
our passions. As wonderful as marriage
is, I Corinthians says it is not the most important thing. Marriage is not the end goal. Why?
[Let’s look at the next few verses.]
I would like you to be free from
concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can
please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this
world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried
woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted
to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the
affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your
own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in
undivided devotion to the Lord. –1
Corinthians 7:32-35
Marriage introduces the potential for distraction from service to
Christ. This advice to stay unmarried is
not a restriction but intended to bless.
Whether or not it is hard for us to hear, it is given a high focus
because it is important.
It is an advice though and not a command as we seen in the next
verses:
If anyone thinks he is acting
improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in
years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not
sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his
own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who
has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right
thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry
her does even better. –1 Corinthians
7:36-38
Again, I Corinthians does not prohibit marriage. It does communicate the idea to go slow. I wasn’t able to identify a frame of
reference for what “if the virgin is getting along in years” means. Are we talking about 20 years old? 30? The
word is hyperakmos, literally meaning past her prime. I’m amazed to find that my definition of
“past one’s prime” continues to change with my own age. The older I get the older “prime” age
becomes.
The thought seems to be that there should be a sense of patience but
also a respect for not waiting too long.
Maybe it’s like Goldilocks and the porridge. There is a “just right” time for getting
married. I say that partly in jest, but
not entirely. God gives us the right person
and right time for marriage. Getting
married to the wrong person or at the wrong time definitely would lead to the
unnecessary struggles.
Also included in the decision of whether or not to marry is the risk
of immorality. As we looked at a couple
of weeks ago, the severity of sexual sin is too great to ignore. Acting improperly in this area is to be
prevented. In that case, where a young
man or woman is not “gifted” to singleness, then getting married is much better
than falling in to sin in this area.
This passage is kind unique in Paul’s letters. Most other places where Paul talks about
marriage, he is “pro-marriage”.
“Husbands love your wives just
as Christ loved the church … Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” –Ephesians
5:22-25
“Wives, submit to your husbands,
as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands,
love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
--Colossians 3:18-19
An elder or a deacon “must be
the husband of one wife.” –1 Timothy
3:2, 12
“ … I counsel younger widows to
marry, to have children, to manage their homes …” –1 Timothy 5:14
In fact, it says in I Timothy that prohibition of marriage is wrong.
The Spirit clearly says that in
later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits … They
forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods –1 Timothy
4:1,3
According to Scripture, the prohibition of marriage is a sign of
abandoning the faith. So, I want to be
faithful with what I Corinthians is communicating, but I don’t want to paint
with too broad a brush. There are
cautions regarding marriage and when to get married, but it is not prohibited.
Let’s look at the last couple of verses:
A woman is bound to her husband
as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she
wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she
stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. –1 Corinthians 7:39-40
A marriage between believers is a lifelong union. There is only the exception of marital
unfaithfulness that is given by Jesus in Matthew 19:9. Death of a spouse ends that marriage bond,
and a Christian is free to marry another Christian.
And as mentioned earlier, Paul is guided by the Spirit as he humbly
asserts. I think we can feel safely sure
that he was right.
Let’s look at a few of the key thoughts from today’s passage:
Conclusions:
1. Contentment in our circumstances.
Rather than trying to change our circumstances when things are tough, we
should take these things to the Lord and ask Him to guide us. In the meantime, we should retain the
position we’ve been given.
2. Marriage is fraught with trouble. No, just kidding. However, a marriage between a believer and
unbeliever will be filled with trouble.
Don’t do it.
3. Marriage is good, but singleness is better. Maybe a surprising thought, but that’s what
our passage says.
4. Live in the reality that
this world is passing away. Don’t be
distracted. There are lots of
distractions including both stuff and relationships. If we keep our focus on the Lord, the
distractions will be less likely to trip us up.
5. Follow the Lord’s
leading. Go slow, but not too slow. Be free from concern. These verses are written for our good. We should listen well and seek to follow
them. Let’s be careful not to take
silence from the Lord toward our prayers as endorsement.
God is for us. His ways are
best. Be patient and wait on the Lord in
your circumstances. If there are
questions of abuse or danger, please let’s talk about those.
Let’s pray.
Father God, you know our situations better than we know them
ourselves. Please help us to be patient
when we need to be patient. Please help
us to take action when we need to take action.
Please guide us in the area of relationships both marriage and outside
of marriage. Keep us pure. Give us courage. Show us the work that we need to be doing
each day. Help us to set aside
distraction and stay connected with You, the true vine. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
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