I Corinthians 7:1-16
The body is not meant
for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
As I prepared for this
message, I looked back to our series in 2009 on seven deadly sins. During that series I presented a message on lust.
At that time I shared some alarming
statistics on sexually transmitted diseases. One of those statistics was that
(at the time) 20% --1 out of 5-- United States residents had been infected by one
or more sexually transmitted disease (STDs). While preparing the message for
today I sought out an update on that 2009 statistic. What I found was even more alarming. As of October 2014, 110 million people (that
is 33%) in the US were infected with one or more STDs. So in a period of five years the number went
up from 1 out of 5 people being infected to 1 out of every 3 people in the US.
There are an estimated
20 million new cases of STD infections being reported each year. The CDC says that today the number of new
cases of STDs for the age group between 15 and 25 is greater than 50%. In other words, more than half of the people
in that age group have now or will contract one or more STDs in their lifetime. Now, this rapid spread of STDs is due solely
to sexual promiscuity outside of God’s design.
Scientists know that in this age group a part of the brain is not yet
fully developed. People in this age
bracket understand the risk is not in their favor, but they believe it doesn’t
apply to them because they believe that they are invincible. The cerebral cortex of the brain doesn’t
fully develop until the age of 26 or 27.
(Hence, the military concentrates its recruitment efforts on the age
between 18 and 23 for combat duty positions.)
The CDC also says that the risk of contracting an STD is zero for a
couple who don’t have an STD and who practice abstinence before marriage and who
don’t have sexual relations with anyone but their marriage partner after their
marriage.
Based on these updated
statistics, the topic of immorality and its negative consequences is just as relevant
in today’s culture as it was in the Corinthian culture of Paul’s days. One reason why people today fall into the
trap of immorality is that Satan uses the media to project a negative image of
virginity. The media urges you to
experience sexual pleasure while you are still young enough to enjoy it. However, God’s Word holds in high esteem those
who have kept themselves sexually pure until marriage.
Genesis 25:20 says, “…and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah daughter of
Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram.” Isaac did not go out and shop for
a wife, and I don’t believe Isaac regretted waiting for God to provide Rebekah
to him as the perfect wife for him.
Christine and I were
both virgins when we got married. I was
a little over 30 years old then. We have
now been married for a little over 30 years and we don’t regret waiting until
marriage to be sexually fulfilled.
Looking back at my singlehood years I don’t think I missed out on
anything by waiting for God to bring the right woman into my life. At the proper time He brought to me a woman
whom He personally designed to be both my helpmate and to be my most intimate friend.
In today’s passage, Paul
addresses four different groups of Corinthian believers. He provides an answer in response to a letter
containing questions on the topic of marriage and singleness written by one of
the Corinthian church leaders. We will
examine Paul’s advice to each of these groups to see how they apply in our
culture.
In the first camp were
former Corinthian Gentiles that had become Christians, but who believed that
singleness was not only the ideal state but the only true godly state. It is believed by some theological scholars
that these single believers were being pressured by some of the married
Messianic Jewish believers to adopt a belief in their Jewish tradition that looked
on marriage as the ideal state and singleness as direct disobedience to God’s
command to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.
The second group was
composed of Corinthian believers who were married at
one time and were no longer. They may
have been divorced, or their spouse left them, or they became widows or
widowers because their spouse had died.
Third were
the married Corinthian couples in which both the husband and the wife were
believers, but who were experiencing common marital issue with each other.
In the
fourth camp were married Corinthians where one spouse was a Christian and the
other was not.
So let’s begin with I
Corinthians 7:1:
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good
for a man not to marry.
Another translation
says, “It is good for a man not to have physical intimacy with a woman.”
Here Paul affirms the position of the singles
in the first camp. He states that
singlehood for the believer is good and should not be looked down upon. This
group of believers who desire to remain single should not be intimidated into
getting married.
Paul goes on to address
the group of single believers who lack the self-control to maintain the
position of singlehood indefinitely:
But since there is so much immorality [or the danger of immorality], each man should have his own wife, and each
woman her own husband.—I Corinthians 7:2
Then Paul gives
some direction to this group of believers who lack self-control concerning how
to avoid Satan’s temptation after they get married.
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to
his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong
to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does
not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except
by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack
of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command.—I Corinthians
7:3-6
So Paul is
not commanding singles to get married, but as a concession based on the reality
that the culture was full of immorality, he acknowledges the Corinthians’
strong passions and gives them the proper guidelines to follow so that they
don’t fall into the sin of immorality that was so pervasive in their culture. He goes on to say:
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man
has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.—I Corinthians
7:7
Here, Paul
concedes that not every believer has the gift of celibacy as he does.
Then Paul
goes on to address the second camp’s position (the group of believers who were
married at one time in the past but are no longer married):
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It
is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.—I Corinthians 7:8
Here, Paul
acknowledges that the believers that were married in the past and whose spouse
left or had died, in his opinion, should stay single (or unmarried). Once again Paul again acknowledges the
Corinthians’ strong passions and gives them the proper guidelines to follow so
that they don’t fall into the sin of immorality that was so pervasive in their
culture. Paul goes on to say to this
group:
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.—I Corinthians 7:0
Paul’s
response to this second group’s position is that it is better for them to marry
than for them to continue to burn with passion, because for them not to marry
would allow Satan to eventually lead them into the temptation of immorality,
and sooner or later they might fall into this sin area.
Next, Paul
addresses the third camp’s position where both husband and wife are believers
but are experiencing common marital conflicts.
To the married I give this command (not I, but
the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must
remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not
divorce his wife.—I Corinthians 7:10-11
Here, scholars
believe he is specifically addressing the marriage between two believers in
Christ. In this case, Paul left no room for getting out of the marriage or
remarrying someone else if the believing spouse leaves. Paul makes it clear that this is God’s
command not his own. This is because God
hates divorce and has no provision for His children who made vows to Him to take
the path of the world by breaking their vows to Him. They must work with each other and the Holy
Spirit to keep their marriage vows to each other and to God and to keep their
marriage strong as a testimony to the unbelieving world.
Now Paul
moves on to the fourth and final camp’s position where two unbelievers were
married but then one of them heard the Gospel and became a believer in Christ.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If
any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with
him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a
believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the
unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving
wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children
would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves,
let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God
has called us to live in peace.—I Corinthians 7:12-15
Paul wrote
about a similar peace in Romans 12:18 where he says:
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone.
When the
unbeliever wants out of a marriage, the peace of the marriage no longer depends
on the spouse who became a believer. Many
Christians have tried to keep a marriage together even when the spouse was
unbelieving and wanted a divorce. The believer
did this in the hopes that the unbelieving spouse would become a believer. However, that course appears to be against
God’s will according to this passage.
The “let him (or her) leave part” of verse 15 is not an option to be
taken or not taken but it is an instruction that is to be obeyed and followed.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save
your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? –I
Corinthians 7:16
The motive
of evangelizing the unbelieving spouse is not cause enough to remain in a marriage
with an unbeliever, especially if the unbeliever wants out of the marriage. In this case the believer should put their
faith in the Lord to lead the unbelieving spouse to salvation through whomever the
Lord desires. The Lord is totally
capable of orchestrating whatever circumstance it will take to eventually allow
the unbeliever to get saved if the unbeliever is willing to repent and put
their trust in Him.
When an
unbelieving spouse does leave, the believing spouse would fall into the second
camp and Paul’s instructions to the unmarried and the widower will now apply to
them.
Here are
four take-aways from today’s message:
1. Sexual promiscuity outside of marriage has serious negative
consequences on the individuals, on the family, and on society as a whole as
can be seen in today’s culture.
2. A believer who is single should not seek to marry an unbeliever
lest they expose themselves and their family to the severe negative consequence
of sin (i.e., sexually transmitted diseases and physical abuse, emotional abuse
and spiritual suffering and pain).
3. The ideal marriage is between a believing man and a believing
woman that have kept themselves pure before marriage and who strive by the
power of the Holy Spirit to keep their wedding vows that they made to God until
death should part them.
4. If one spouse gets saved but their unbelieving spouse wants to
leave the marriage, let the unbelieving spouse leave. In this case, God has called the believer to
peace.
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