Truthfulness vs. Deception

Good morning! Today we continue our series based on the book of Proverbs and focus on truthfulness versus deception. I spent a little time yesterday thinking about some of the most common lies in our culture. With a little help from the Internet, here are a few I came up with:

1.The dog ate my homework.
2.Leave us your resume and we’ll keep it on file.
3.One size fits all.
4.Your baggage isn’t lost, it’s just not here.
5.This will only take a minute.
6.Satisfaction guaranteed.
7.That was the very next thing on my list of things to do!

8.I never received your email/I sent you an email – didn’t you get it?
9.I forgot.
10.Your call is very valuable to us, so please stay on the line and a representative will speak with you shortly.
11.This will hurt me more than it will hurt you.
12.This offer is limited to the first 100 people who call to receive our special offer, so pick up the phone and call right now!

Lying does seem to be a way of life. According to a poll taken for a devotional magazine called the Daily Bread, 91% of those surveyed lie routinely about matters they consider trivial, and 36% say they lie routinely about important matters. 86% lie routinely to parents, 75% to friends, 73% to siblings, and 69% to spouses. And those numbers presume that those polled were telling the truth! Who knows how much higher the real percentages are?

Because lying is so commonplace, it is easy to ignore our consciences when we do it ourselves. In fact, I bet that each of us at one time or another has lied without even noticing that this is what we have done. But what is the Lord’s view? What does God think about lying? Well, consider this passage.

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers. – Prov. 6:16-19

I’m not sure what is more disconcerting, more sobering about this passage – the fact that it says that the Lord hates lying, that it is detestable to Him, or the fact that lying is treated as just as bad, according to this passage, as things like hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, and feet that are quick to rush into evil.

Well, some might respond by asking, “Is all lying bad? Isn’t some lying condoned in Scripture?” Well let’s look at this question. There are examples in Scripture where people have lied and where that lying, at a minimum, is not condemned, and furthermore, where it seems that it is OK. One that comes to mind is in Exodus 1, where the Pharaoh of Egypt was concerned about the large number of Israelites and told the Hebrew midwives to kill all the sons that are born and only let daughters live. The midwives chose not to do as the king of Egypt commanded, and instead let the male children live. When Pharaoh asked them why they did this, they answered “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women; for they are vigorous and are delivered before the midwife comes to them.” Now this was a lie. And God does not rebuke the midwives for this lie, but, indeed, according to verse 20, blesses the Israelites.

A second example, perhaps the one that came to your mind, is in Joshua 2. Joshua sent out two men to spy out Jericho, and the king discovered that the spies were there. They hid in the house of Rahab the prostitute. She took them to her roof and hid them by covering them with stalks of flax. When the king’s messengers came to Rahab’s house and asked if she had seen the men, she said, “True, men came to me, but I did not know where they came from, and when the gate was closed, at dark, the men went out; where the men went I do not know.” Again, this is clearly a lie. Later in the chapter it says that she believed in the God of Israel and asked that her family be delivered when the Israelites attacked Jericho. Hebrews 11:31 says that she gave this friendly welcome to the spies by faith. The way I interpret this is that her faith led her, at a minimum, to believe that it was the right thing to do to tell the lie that she told.

In either case, was there a better way, a way to achieve the same ends without lying? I don’t know; Scripture is silent on this. I think what we can say is that in certain extreme life-threatening situations, situations in which an authority is acting evilly and in opposition to the principles of God, if you love the Lord and are motivated by faith, you may feel that the right thing to do is to choose to disobey authorities, and part of that disobedience may include a decision to lie. Obviously such a decision is never easy and should be accompanied by prayer and a dependence on the Lord.

But this is not an everyday kind of event; in fact, it would not surprise me if none of us have ever been in such a situation. A day may come where even in this country we may face this situation, but that time is not now.

Let me also address the question of whether refusing to answer a question is the same thing as lying. Common sense tells us that these are not the same thing. Indeed, Jesus did this repeatedly during the trials before His crucifixion. And Isaiah 53 shows that Jesus did nothing wrong by doing this:

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment He was taken away. And who can speak of His descendants? For He was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people He was stricken. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in His death, though He had done no violence, nor was any deceit in His mouth. – Isaiah 53:7-9

It is not deceit to refuse to answer a question. Jesus also refused to answer questions when He was questioned by the priests and elders as they tried to trap Him. Matthew 21:23-27 gives one example:

Jesus entered the temple courts, and, while He was teaching, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to Him. “By what authority are you doing these things?” they asked. “And who gave you this authority?” Jesus replied, “I will also ask you one question. If you answer me, I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. John’s baptism—where did it come from? Was it from heaven, or from men?” – Matt. 21:23-25a

They discussed it among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ He will ask, ‘Then why didn’t you believe him?’ But if we say, ‘From men’—we are afraid of the people, for they all hold that John was a prophet.” So they answered Jesus, “We don’t know.” Then He said, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.” – Matt. 21:25b-27

Jesus didn’t lie or do anything wrong here. But note that the priests and elders did lie with their answer. Not only did they lie, but you see here a decision-making process that sees no shame in lying. To them, the truth didn’t matter, being honest didn’t matter. They didn’t care about truth at all. And sadly, it seems to me that we see this more and more, to a greater and greater extent, in our culture today.

You see it in politics, you see it in the media, but you also see it more and more on a personal level, in our day to day dealings with regular people. I see it all the time working with students. These are not “little white lies” (if such a thing exists). These are decisions being made about what will most benefit the liar or liars, and it is done callously and without remorse. This is exactly what the priests and elders were doing, and this is what I believe Proverbs is talking about when it says that it is detestable to God.

Again, our culture would call what the priests and elders were doing “being pragmatic” or “paying attention to the bigger picture, the bigger goals.” This goes on all the time in our culture. Don’t be a part of it! Don’t let yourself start to think this way! People who operate this way are often cynical. Why is that? I think it is because they have done a lot of damage to themselves, to their consciences to become this way. They have become hardened to sin. We should flee from any action that would make us become like this.

Here is another verse with a similar message:

The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful. – Prov. 12:22
This one is encouraging because it gives us the other side. Yes, the Lord abhors those who lie, but He loves those who speak the truth. Which side would you rather be on?

There are a number of verses in Proverbs that compare deceitfulness to other things. Here are two:

Arrogant [eloquent] lips are unsuited to a fool— how much worse lying lips to a ruler! – Prov. 17:7

Translate ruler as any kind of leader, one who is looked up to by someone else. As believers, we all should be this to some people at some level. If you want my very, very, very loose paraphrase, applied to us, how about this? As speaking correctly of spiritual things is not what you expect to come from an unbeliever; how much worse are lies coming from a believer!

Better to be poor than a liar. – Prov. 19:22b

It doesn’t get more straightforward than that, does it? But who believes it? Who lives it? When is it hardest to tell the truth? It is when it costs us the most, when we know that being dishonest, or even providing a little misdirection in our answers, making someone assume something because of the clever way we worded it, could save us a bundle or make us a bundle – that’s the real test, isn’t it? It’s also when we know we have done something else wrong, and that we will be punished, that is, there will be consequences, for what we have done if we admit that we did it. This is when we experience that little war within us, like the old cartoons used to have the little angel up on one side telling us to do the right thing and the little devil on the other side telling us what it would cost us and just go ahead and tell the “mistruth.” It is better to be poor, whether that means financial repercussions, being grounded if you are a child, losing the respect of someone, whatever it is – it is better to be poor. And that word “poor” means destitute, hungry, with nothing. It is better to have nothing than to be a liar.

Other verses in Proverbs remind us that there are consequences to lying, that God notices and that without repentance, God does deal with all sin, including the sin of deception.

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free. – Prov. 19:5

A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish. – Prov. 19:9

Not only does God deal with those who lie, lying is self-destructive. As I’m sure you know, lying begets more lying, and it becomes harder and harder to keep your lies straight. This cannot be healthy for us. It creates stress in our lives, and stress causes many physical problems, ultimately, even death. The person who lies and lies is like a spider that traps itself in its own web. Each additional lie makes the trap more and more secure, more and more impenetrable. One of my favorite titles for a book is Cobwebs and Cables because it communicates that thought so vividly. Your deceptions may at first seem thin like cobwebs, but over time the trap strengthens until you are surrounded by cables. Here are some proverbs that speak of the self-destructive nature of lying.

A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble. – Prov. 17:20

Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel. – Prov. 20:17

A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare. – Prov. 21:6

Of course, dishonesty and deception not only hurt the speaker, they also damage those around them.

Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I was only joking!” – Prov. 26:18-19

This reminds me of the story, “The Boy who Cried Wolf.” Whether the person originally was deceitful for the “fun” of it or whether he simply says this as a way to try to wiggle out of being caught makes no difference. Deceit can greatly harm others.

A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. – Prov. 26:28

We can forget that flattery (as opposed to simply giving a valid complement) is itself a kind of deception. How do you know whether you are doing one or the other? It depends in part on your motives, but mostly it depends on whether or not what you say is true! This reminds me of a different story, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”

Now in contrast to the many damaging effects of deception are the many benefits of being truthful. Here are some verses that speak of the benefits to others:

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. – Prov. 15:4

A tree of life – what a vivid picture this is of how one’s words based on truth can bring wholeness, restoration, healthy thinking to another. In contrast, the deceitful tongue can have the opposite effect, bringing pain, hurt, wrong thinking.

A truthful witness saves lives, but a false witness is deceitful. – Prov. 14:25

Saving lives, that is powerful. This is not just speaking of defending someone accused of something, someone who is innocent; it goes beyond this. And for us, as believers, the ultimate witness we have is our witnessing about Christ.
And truthfulness blesses us and it blesses others.

Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth. – Prov. 16:13

And one of my favorite proverbs:

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. – Prov. 24:26

That means it’s great, by the way. I can just imagine some 8- or 10-year-old boy hearing this verse and saying, “A kiss on the lips? Yuck! That sounds terrible!” When you are older, you will understand this verse better. In the meantime, think of this verse as “An honest answer is like being given a giant box of Star Wars Legos.”

Now, one of my favorite verses from Proverbs is Prov. 3:3. I am going to give it in three different translations because they are different and yet both contain valid meanings of the words being used.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. – Prov. 3:3 (NIV)

Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. – Prov. 3:3 (NAS)

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee; bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart. – Prov. 3:3 (KJV)

The Hebrew word the NIV translates as love is chesed, and it can be translated as love, kindness, and mercy. The Hebrew word the NIV translates as faithfulness is emet and it can mean faithfulness, reliability, sureness, and truth. The reason I love this verse is that it ties all of these things together. Truth without love, truth without kindness, truth without mercy, is not what we should be about. I am reminded of I Cor. 13 which basically says that anything we would think of as good without love will cease to be a good thing. As for binding about the neck, this phrase is used four times in Proverbs, and in each case, the image is that of jewelry, of putting on a beautiful necklace. As believers, we should not be overly fixated on outward beauty, but on inward beauty, and love and truth should be the jewelry that we wear. Love coupled with truthfulness is what makes us beautiful, according to God.

Now, I want to spend my remaining time today looking at a few verses from the New Testament that speak to deceit and truthfulness. The first is from I Peter:

Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. – I Peter 2:1

Well, that verse is pretty clear, isn’t it? It sets a high standard. If you are wondering what the therefore is there for, we can go back a few verses to this:

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. – I Peter 1:22-23

What does that have to do with ridding yourself of all malice, deceit, hypocricy, envy, and slander? Well, for one thing, it tells you how it is even possible. As you have been reminded again and again in this series, righteousness is not achieved through self-effort apart from God; we have been born again. The Holy Spirit lives within us, and through the Holy Spirit, power is available to us, if we depend on God day by day, hour by hour for His strength. Now it is unrealistic to expect sudden, complete victory in this area, or any other, but it is realistic, if we truly depend on God, if we have an ever-deepening relationship with Him, to expect growth. It won’t be easy – dying to self is never easy. But it is possible, in Christ.

The second thing these verses remind me is that there is a connection between loving people and dealing honestly with them. To be blunt, lying to someone is a sign that your love for that person is shallow. The more we learn to love one another deeply, from the heart, the more unthinkable it will become to deceive them. And the more we learn to love God deeply, the less we will care about our reputation, or our status, or anything like this, and the less motivated we will be to lie.

I will be painfully honest with you – when I was younger, I had a real problem with embellishing facts about my life. I realize that this is not that uncommon among younger children, but I continued to do it on into college. If you had asked me why I did it, I wouldn’t have known it then, but I do now – it was because I was tremendously insecure, and just wanted people to respect me. But as I came to Christ, my insecurity became greatly reduced, because I knew that Jesus loved me, whether I was impressive or not, and that I didn’t have to prove anything to Him (nor could I), and because I was becoming increasingly secure in this relationship, because my faith and trust in Him continued to grow, I no longer felt the need to embellish. This didn’t change overnight, but it did change pretty quickly.

Let’s look at one more verse from the New Testament:

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. – Ephesians 4:25

What’s the therefore there for?

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. – Eph. 4:22-24

Falsehood is not just lying to one another, by the way. It is also keeping secrets, not saying what we should be saying. We should not just put of falsehood, but speak truthfully, and part of speaking truthfully is speaking. But just as you stop wearing your worn-out clothes (guys, I know some of you need your wives to help you do this, and I am as guilty as anyone), just as you should stop wearing your completely worn-out clothes, so should you stop wearing falsehood. It’s part of your old self, not the new. The new self is about speaking the truth in love. The new self has been created by God to be like Him in true righteousness and holiness. Try Him on! In your brokenness, put on the new self. In Him, let us be truthful, without deceit, filled with love and pouring out love, first to one another, and then to a lost and broken world.