Pain in Grief

Understanding how to help myself and others after a loss

My prayer is that this teaching will equip you as you minister to yourself and others around you as you and they go through the grieving process due to the loss of someone very close to you.

        

First, what is Grief?

Definition of Grief: 
1.)   A cognitive and emotional response to a significant loss

2.)  The price you pay for getting attached to someone or something

The first definition is what a psychologist would give if asked the question “What is grief?”. The second definition is the same definition but translated into layman’s terms.

Pain in Physical Suffering

As I was putting the finishing touches on my message this week, God was putting His finishing touches on me. I had pretty much finished my sermon several weeks ago because I’m going to use some of the same material as I teach at L.I.N.C. this week in Flordia.  I was waiting on God to give me any last minute thoughts before I finished preparing.  As I was updating a few things in my message, my ribs were wrapped in ace bandage.  What happened?  A few days earlier, Alex and I were playing basketball.  One of the students, about half my age, rammed his shoulder into my ribs leaving me sore for days on end.  In case you’re wondering, I didn’t let him make the shot.  He missed.  Earlier that week the rheumatologist diagnosed me with unspecified spondyloarthropathy.  It’s a diagnosis that explains why I have had to deal with so much pain in my back for nearly 20 years. 

 As many of you know, Miriam has gone through much suffering over the years.  I’ll share a little bit more about that in a minute.  Let me share a few Biblical thoughts that have helped me over the years to understand pain in physical suffering. 

Pointing to Christ in Living and Dying

2 Kings 13:14-21

Welcome! Today we come to the end of our series on Elisha. Throughout the series we have mentioned that the story of Elisha’s life serves as a kind of foreshadowing of the life of Jesus. Now that we have been through most of the events of Elisha’s life, I want to briefly discuss these similarities together. For me it is quite a striking picture.

I want to start by summarizing similarities between Elijah the Tishbite and John the Baptist. We can say that Elijah was a “forerunner” for Elisha, and John was a forerunner for Jesus. The New Testament writers clearly understood this; in Matthew 11:13-15 and Matthew 17:10-13, John is called “the Elijah to come.” You can also read a prophecy pointing from Elijah to a future person who is very like him. People at the time of the gospels knew of this prophecy, and many wondered whether John the Baptist actually was Elijah. Where is this prophecy? Significantly, it is in the very last verses of the Old Testament, in Malachi 4:5-6. Talk of the Elijah to come closes the Old Testament, and talk of the new Elijah who has come is one of the first topics of each of the gospels. 

Leading in Difficult Times

2 Kings 6:24-8:15

Some time later, Ben-Hadad king of Aram mobilized his entire army and marched up and laid siege to Samaria. - 2 Kings 6:24 

There seems to have been some time that had passed (maybe years) since the memory of Elisha leading the Syrian band of invaders into the city of Samaria and then having the king of Israel Jehoram (son of Ahab) feed them and let them go. This time was enough to make them forget how powerful the God of Israel was. This time, instead of a small band of invaders, the King of Syria Benhadad gathered a large army and he went with them. The king of Israel was afraid because he was grossly outnumbered. So he shut himself up in the city because the walls of Samaria were strong. 

There was a great famine in the city; the siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels of silver and a quarter of a cab of seed pods (dove’s dung) for five shekels. - 2 Kings 6:25

Helping Others to See

II Kings 6:8-23

Welcome! Today we continue our series on the prophet Elisha. As we have been going through this series over the past two months or so, we have seen that there is benefit in looking at the events of Elisha’s life on many levels. On one level are the accounts themselves, looking at them in the historical and cultural contexts of the Israelites in that period of history around 800 years before Christ. As we have talked about before, this was a turbulent and troubled time in Israel’s history. The nation built from 12 tribes had for some time been split into two, called Israel and Judah, a split that went back to the times of the generation after Solomon. The land of Judah, which included Jerusalem, the site of the Temple, oscillated back and forth between following God and giving themselves to the false gods worshiped by the people around them. The land of Israel, however, pretty much uniformly worshiped false gods and adopted many of the detestable practices of the peoples who were around them. Pretty much every king of Israel was described in negative terms; in contrast, at least a few of the kings of Judah had good things said about them. In Israel, because of the people’s wickedness, God basically removed His protection over the land, and there were frequent conflicts with their neighbors. Eventually this led to the complete overtaking of the land by their enemies. The passage we will look at today focuses on one of these conflicts with their neighbors.

Bringing up the Next Generation

II Kings 5:20-6:7

Good morning! We continue today with our series on the prophet Elisha. Last week, Carl took us through the account of the miraculous healing of Naaman the commander of the army of Aram. Elisha brought about this amazing miracle to heal Naaman of leprosy or a similar debilitating and fatal skin disease. It wasn’t Elisha that healed Naaman, of course. The Lord healed, but Elisha was one of the people that God worked through to bring about Naaman’s healing. Even more exciting than the healing is the transformation of the heart of Naaman. This idol-worshiping pagan from Aram comes to Israel as a last resort to seek healing. What he finds instead is the wonder-working power of God. He will no longer bow to idols who fail to heal. He even takes back dirt from Israel so that he can worship the true God in Aram on the blessed soil of God’s chosen land.

After his healing, Naaman returned to Elisha’s house in joy to bless him with gifts, literally a king’s ransom in gold, silver, and royal clothing. Yet, Elisha would not accept even one gift. We’re going to pick up the narrative after Elisha has turned him down and told Naaman to “Go in peace,” but first, let’s pray.

Being Used by God to Heal

II Kings 5:1-19

Welcome! Today we continue our series on the prophet Elisha. Last week, John Bullard told us about the events that could be named “Death in the Pot” – about how in the middle of a gathering of faithful believers in God, someone threw food into their communal pot of stew or soup or whatever they were making that made them sick. But as they cried out in fear and in pain, God brought them healing through Elisha. Also in last week’s passage, God had a person come seemingly out of the blue with some bread. It was not enough to feed the large group, but God, again through Elisha, miraculously multiplied the food so as to adequately feed everyone.

This latter miracle of course reminds us of how Jesus similarly multiplied food to feed a large crowd – a much larger multitude than the group with Elisha, and Jesus did it from a much smaller starting portion. This is a repeated pattern in Scripture – we see that Jesus’ miracles generally were not just completely new, out-of-the-blue things, but were enhancements and fulfillments of things that happened in the Old Testament. One reason for this is that it helped the people to know that Jesus really was the promised Messiah mentioned again and again in the Old Testament. And the supremacy of His miracles over those that had gone before also meant that the earlier miracles were only hints or shadows of what was to come – that Christ, Son of God, and God Himself, was to come to redeem us and save us from the penalty our sins deserved.

Receiving Help and Being God's Vessel

II Kings 4:8-37

Welcome! Today we continue our exploration into the life and ministry of the prophet Elisha. Last week we saw how Elisha was used by God to help out a desperately poor woman, a widow who was being hounded by creditors who threatened to take away her children to be slaves and whose slavery would serve to pay off her debt. Tim mentioned last week how hard it was to be a widow back then and how hard it is to be a widow even today, especially in poorer countries. All she had left was a jar of oil. God used Elisha to minister to her by having Elisha tell her what to do, in this case, to gather as many jars as she could find and then begin pouring the oil into these jars. The miracle here is that God multiplied the oil many times over, so much so that she could provide for her family.

I have continued to reflect on this passage from last week, and one thing really stood out to me: the genuine faith of the widow in God She did not go to a king or to a wealthy patron; perhaps they wouldn’t have done anything for her anyway. Instead she went to the prophet Elisha. Elisha was not rich; he had once had some wealth, as can be seen from the details of the events when Elijah had called him to be his servant or helper, but Elisha left everything behind to follow Elijah (that is, to follow God); he even burnt up his plow and ate his oxen! This reminds me of what Jesus said in Luke 9:62: “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Elisha was “all in”; he wasn’t half prophet and half something else. As prophet, Elisha lived as one largely dependent on the kindness of others. Elisha lived a simple, even Spartan life. We will see this confirmed in today’s passage.

Responding to Needs

2 Kings 4:1-7 

In our study of the ministry of Elisha so far we have seen several very public miracles that he did. Do you recall what the very first one was, after he took over from Elijah? He struck the water of the Jordan with Elijah’s cloak, and the river divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over. It says that the company of the prophets from Jericho were watching, and they said, “The spirit of Elijah is resting on Elisha.” It was a public demonstration of God’s power, to establish Elisha’s authority as his prophet, reminiscent of Moses parting the Red Sea.

Then we have the healing of the water at Jericho, using salt, symbolizing the covenant faithfulness of God to His people, despite their disobedience. This miracle affected the drinking water supply for the entire town and made the land around it productive, so this was another highly-visible event, impacting many people. And last Sunday, Brian talked about the miracle of water suddenly flowing into the broad valley of the Arabah, allowing the thirsty armies to drink and appearing like blood to the Moabites, luring them into the confrontation with the Israelites that led to the destruction of Moab. This sign from the Lord via Elisha not only met an urgent, high-profile physical need for drinking water, but it seems to have given the Israelite armies courage to take on the Moabites and defeat them.

So we have God publicly establishing Elisha as His instrument to demonstrate His power and bring His word to His people. But now as we come to chapter 4 of 2 Kings we have a very different kind of miracle – God using Elisha in a very different way.

Delivering the Message

2 Kings 3 

I want to talk with you this morning about “Delivering the Message”.  We’re going to look at 2 Kings 3.  You don’t have to be perfect in order to deliver the message, you just need to be willing.  A couple months ago I was sharing the gospel with a student at Clemson.  His name is Justin.  After I shared the gospel with him he wanted to become a Christian.  Justin was very open.  I came at just the right time.  Before I left I prayed for him.  “Dear God.  Please help Justin to trust in you for his salvation.  Please help him to get to know you.”  It’s a great feeling when God uses you like that-to see someone leave the darkness and enter the light.  But before I left he said, “Um.  My name is Jordan, not Justin.”  So, I spent the whole time calling him Justin and even praying for “Justin”.  I’m glad that God knew his name.  You don’t have to be perfect in your delivery.  You just need to be willing.

Elisha was a great example of someone who was willing to deliver God’s message.  In 2 Kings 3:1-3 it says, 

“Jorama son of Ahab became king of Israel in Samaria in the eighteenth year of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, and he reigned twelve years.  He did evil in the eyes of the LORD, but not as his father and mother had done. He got rid of the sacred stone of Baal that his father had made. Nevertheless he clung to the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commit; he did not turn away from them.”