Therefore Obey and Train

Eph. 6:1-9

Carl gave us a good overview of the book of Ephesians and where we are now in our study.  Today, I will put up a visual of the messages in the series and we can see where we are.

Part I: Ephesians 1-3

The Divine Purpose

The What:  The Good News, Salvation and Unity

Nov 12 The Chosen (Eph. 1:1-14)

Nov 19 Prayer for Power (Eph. 1:15-23)

Nov 26 Dead or Alive (Eph. 2:1-10)

Dec 3 Two Become One (Eph. 2:11-22)

Dec 10 Rooted and Established (Eph. 3:1-21) 

Part II: Ephesians 4-6

Practical Ways to Live out God’s Purpose

The How:  How We Are to Live as People “In Christ”

Jan 7 Therefore Be One (Eph. 4:1-16)

Jan 14 Therefore Be Like Him (Eph. 4:17-31)

Jan 21 Therefore Be Pure (Eph. 5:1-20)

Jan 28 Therefore Submit and Love (Eph. 5:21-33)

Feb 4 Therefore Obey and Train (Eph. 6:1-9)

Feb 11 Therefore Be Strong in Him (Eph. 6:10-17)

Feb 18 Therefore Pray in Him (Eph. 6:18-24) 

 

The messages for the second half of Ephesians all start with the word Therefore because we are to live in the light of the truth of the gospel.  As a result of what God has done for us, then this is how we should live.

As Carl explained last week, today’s passage is a continuation of a thesis which began in the previous passage.  The thesis statement is Ephesians 5:21.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Eph. 5:21

That flowed out of the previous 3 messages about unity, seeking to be like Him (living as children of light and not darkness), and living lives of purity, focusing on the things of God.  The thesis statement is followed by 6 applications of the statement.

1. Wives - Eph 5:22-24

2. Husbands - Eph 5:25-33

3. Children - Eph 6:1-3

4. Fathers - Eph 6:4

5. Slaves - Eph 6:5-8

6. Masters - Eph 6:9

Carl also introduced us to two Greek words:  hypotasso and hypakouo.  Hypotasso meaning to set oneself under another, choosing to submit as peers or equals.  Hypakouo meaning to hear or obey, choosing to submit as a child or a novice or a recruit.

[Evil spirits hypokouo Jesus. (Mark 1:27) They hypotasso’d the disciples in Jesus’ name. (Luke 10:17)]

We are to hypotasso to one another. (Ephesians 5:21) Wives are to hypotasso to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:24) Today, we will see a shift to hypakouo, but let’s pray and then we’ll go to Ephesians 6.

Lord God, we submit to You (Romans 6:17, 10:16) in obedience.  We hypakouo You.  Your ways are above our ways.  We need Your power in and over our lives.  As we continue in this passage about how we should relate to others.  Help us to see what we need to see and understand here.  We look and listen to you, Jesus, Amen.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. – Eph. 6:1

This is a short sentence.  The word obey is the word hypakouo.  Children, listen to your parents with a heart of obedience.  How?  In the Lord.  The parent’s authority comes from the Lord, and the child’s obedience is to be in the Lord.

This addresses the question about non-Christian parents of a child who is a believer.  The child should obey their parents in the Lord.  If the parents told the child to do something that was clearly a sin, then that wouldn’t be “in the Lord,” and such a situation would require some wisdom.  However, most times, I feel like a parent would not ask a child to do something which is wrong rather it would fall in the category of not lining up with what the child thinks is the best thing at that moment.

It does say parents in the Greek and not fathers.  Literally, the ones who made you or gave you life.  The word children is a big word that covers pretty much every use of the word children in English.  Children of God or children of Israel, for example.  As well as, younger and older children.  There is a diminutive form of this word which means little children, but Paul hasn’t used it here, nor other words which have the connotation of a younger child.  In other words, this is written to children who are “grown up,” too.

I’m thinking about teenagers and college aged children who are not yet married.  Scripturally, I think marriage is a clear line for hypakouo obedience for children to parents because in marriage, a child leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his spouse.  I’m not saying all submission ends at that point, but I think it shifts over to more of a hypotasso relationship like it says in I Peter 5:5, “Younger men submit [hypotasso] yourselves to your elders.”  We’re not done with this subject from the perspective of children, so let’s continue.

“Honor your father and mother”--which is the first commandment with a promise—"so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” – Eph. 6:2-3

Verse one said that children are to obey their parents in the Lord for this is right.  Here is the basis that “this is right.”  The quoted part comes from the Ten Commandments.

Does anyone know which commandment “Honor your father and mother” is?  Hint.  The first four have to do with our relationship to God. (1. No other gods, 2. No idols, 3. No cursing, 4. Remember the Sabbath) The last five have to do with our relationship to one another. (6. Do not murder, 7. Do not steal, 8. No adultery, 9. Do not lie, 10. Do not covet) 

This commandment is balanced in between the ones about God and the “do nots” unto others.  I think there must be something significant about this.  Further emphasizing its importance, not only is this the first commandment (of the Ten Commandments) with a promise, it is the only one with a promise.

Honoring your father and mother obviously encompasses obedience, but it also includes showing them honor or respect, valuing them.  It can also mean taking care of them when they need care.

My dad is 82 now, and I have been thankful for him pretty much my whole life.  (Can any child say they’ve always been thankful for their parents?)  At this point in life, my parents are still independent, so they don’t really need any “care” physically.  So, I honor my dad by calling him every week.  It probably doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a way I try to follow this passage.

When I was younger but saved, my attitude about honoring my parents was to not keep them waiting, and try to put aside my wants when they ask for something, even something trivial.  I can remember Melissa and I were dating or just married.  We were at my parent’s house.  I was watching a show on TV, and it was like 5 minutes from being over.  It was dinner time, and my dad calls into the den and says it’s time to eat.  I stood up and turned off the TV, and I remember Melissa being shocked that I wouldn’t ask for five more minutes to finish the show.  But my parents had already made dinner for us, it wouldn’t have been honoring to then say, “I’m not ready.  I need you to wait on me.”

Okay, let’s look at what Ephesians has to say to dads.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Eph. 6:4

Why not moms?  I don’t think they need it.  God wants dads to take this role seriously.  Dads (at least this dad) are the ones more likely to exasperate their children.

Parents have a special role in the lives of their children.  And, it is a role that you sort of grow into, but it’s also a role that you are thrust into.

I remember when Taryn, our oldest child, was born.  One of the jobs that I had was to make sure her car seat was installed properly when it was time to come home from the hospital.  I took that job very seriously.  Back then, you could only put a car seat in using the seat belt.  You didn’t have the extra latches and straps like there are today.  But I put that car seat in with all the force of my body weight and all my strength.  I used towels to make sure the seat was mounted at the correct angle.  That seat wasn’t going anywhere.

So, it comes time to leave the hospital.  The hospital does end up giving you quite a bit of stuff, so I’m carrying things, and this elderly volunteer is pushing Melissa in a wheelchair.  She was a slender woman who looked like she might have a hard time against a stiff breeze.  Melissa, of course, is holding Taryn.  We looked like a little picture, I’m sure.

So, we get down to the car, and before we put Taryn in, the volunteer says, “Oh, let me check the car seat.”  And I’m ready.  This car seat is going to handle anything she throws at it.  So she reaches up and gently shakes the car seat with less force than it would take to wake Elijah much less a teenager.  And then, she just says, “Okay, you’re good.”  And that was it.  After that, we had to figure out how to get Taryn in the car seat.  She only weighed 6 lbs, and I can just remember the belts seeming like they were as big as she was.  The little clasp across her chest was wider than her body.

Melissa gets in the car, and I close up and come around and get in the driver’s seat.  And there we are, completely on our own as new parents.  “Good luck, have fun storming the castle!”  “Do you think it’ll work?”  “It would take a miracle.” “Bye, bye!”  It was sudden.  Suddenly, we had a baby that we had to take care of and provide for 24 hours a day.  That’s what I mean by being thrust into it.

On the other hand, that little baby doesn’t need much in the way of training or instruction in the first months.  Sure, you read them books and pray over them and sing songs to them, but there’s no discussion or correction really.  So, you have some time before that work really begins.

When our kids were younger, and I considered this verse, I would think about things like expectations and trying to set the kids up to be successful knowing their limitations.  For example, whenever we would go into a situation that they had never experienced before and I had some strong expectation, then I would take the time to explain what was going to happen.

If we were going to an event like a wedding or a concert, then I would tell them what it would be like.  If I thought it was something boring from their point of view, I would tell them that they might find it boring.  I would also explain that they were expected to behave, sit still, be quiet or whatever would be regarded as suitable behavior.

I would also tell them when they would be allowed to run around and play.  Or when they would be able to get out dress clothes.  It doesn’t sound super spiritual, but this is one of the key ways that fathers can avoid exasperating their children.

In other translations, this verse says fathers do not provoke your children to anger.  I think that is more in line with the Greek.  Don’t mock them or make fun of them or have unreasonable expectations.  All sorts of things that I’ve failed at one time or another over the years.

The focus is upon the training and instruction in the Lord.  Getting them in the Word, getting in the Word with them, praying over them, praying with them, helping them memorize verses, learn songs, modeling the disciplines of the faith for your kids.

Fred mentioned something he would do from time to time when his kids were smaller.  If he had a trying day at work, he might stop before he got home, like a block from the house and spend some time in prayer and maybe reading the Word a little so that he would be ready to serve his family when he arrived home.  I think that’s wise counsel.

Let’s continue to the part of today’s passage which is disliked by some because I expect it has also been misunderstood and misused.  Slavery, the ownership of people, is a terrible thing.  People are not property.  Each person is uniquely created in the image of God.  Every human being is an image bearer of God.  People should not be bought or sold.

And yet, as a result of the fall, slavery came into existence.  There are different reasons people came into slavery, none of them good.  

10-30% of the population in the ancient Roman Empire were slaves.  During colonial times in the US, 3% of the population of New England, 6% in the mid-Atlantic, 31% in the South were slaves.  At the time of the Civil War (census of 1860) the slave states’ population was 32% slaves.  South Carolina had the highest percentage at 57% of the state population being enslaved.

The Bible does not directly call for the end of slavery, but it certainly transformed the relationship of slave and free and even more so slave and master.  Colossians 3:11 says there is “no slave or free, but Christ is all and in all.”  Paul writes that Onesimus (the master) and Philemon (the slave) are “brothers in the Lord” according to Philemon 1:7. I Corinthians 7:21 tells new believers who happened to be slaves that they should not be troubled by it,but should gain their freedom if they could.  It is hard to communicate how radical these ideas would have been to their first century hearers, especially some masters.  Slaves are people just like you, not to be abused or mistreated.

This truth was missing from the minds and hearts of many in the antebellum south.  Slaves were not regarded as equals but rather as uncivilized savages.  That is a sad reality from that time.

Let’s go ahead and step into Ephesians 6:5.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. – Eph. 6:5

If you were an owner of slaves, I think you would want all your slaves to know at least the first part of this verse perhaps omitting the earthly part.  “Slaves, obey your masters with respect and fear.”

That one word earthly is critically important though.  These are earthly masters.  Literally, the master in the flesh.  In other words, they are master over your body, but not your mind, your heart or your soul.  There is another master, the Master over all the heavens and the earth.  There are some masters who would rather not think about a Master who is above them.

The word obey here is hypakouo.  To listen as to learn and obey with respect and fear and sincerity of heart.  The slave is to live a testimony of obedience to Christ toward their earthly master.

There are at least two other passages, Titus 2:9 and I Peter 2:18 where the word given to the slave is not hypakouo but rather hypotasso, to set oneself under another.  Paul tells Titus to teach slaves who are believers to hypotasso to their masters.  Peter writes to slaves telling them to hypotasso to their masters, even the ones who are harsh.

Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. – Eph. 6:6

Again, there is a powerful testimony and witness in this behavior.  Don’t obey selfishly for your own benefit.  Don’t do it just when they can see you.  Follow through even when they aren’t around.  Again, the picture is that of being in service to Christ.  Obedience here is doing the will of God from your heart.

I’ve seen some use these passages in describing an employer-employee relationship, and I don’t think it’s wrong.  It’s just that an employer-employee relationship is very different from a slave and master relationship.

Paul is not assuming that all the parents or all the masters are believers.  Certainly, Peter was not in I Peter 2:18.  So, there is some read across here in how we relate to those in authority over us whether it is an employer or other authority.  Follow through and do a good job even when there’s not someone watching to make sure you’re doing the right thing.

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. – Eph. 6:7-8

This takes it to even another level.  When was the last time you saw someone serving wholeheartedly?  When was the last time you were serving the Lord wholeheartedly?  What would that even look like?

Do your best to serve.  Look for opportunities to serve.  If the Lord were at your house, would you make him cook his own food or clean the bathroom?

I think it can slip by us, but this work of service that the slaves were doing is worth of reward when it is good and genuine.  And, it says serving wholeheartedly has a reward.  I think we’ve all had to do tasks where it was mind-numbing or back-breaking or in some way unpleasant.  That work has not gone unseen or unnoticed.  I hope that encourages you.  Like Galatians 6:9 says, “don’t grow weary in doing good because in due time you will reap a harvest.”  Reading on, Galatians says after that to do good to all people, especially the family of believers, literally the household of faith.

And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with Him. – Eph. 6:9

We see some similarity here to the exhortation to fathers.  Fathers were told not to provoke their children to anger.  Masters are told not to threaten their slaves.  Don’t make them afraid.  Fear in verse 5 is not fear of harm, but fear in the sense of highest honor.

However, masters are first told to treat their slaves in the same way.  What way?  Well, we see that slaves were just told to serve wholeheartedly as if serving the Lord.  Masters too should serve their slaves wholeheartedly and do good to them, taking care of their needs and providing for them.

Again, we have this equalizing truth at the end of this verse.  “There is no favoritism with Him.”  In God’s eyes, there is no distinction between slave or free.  He sees only whether or not we are His child.  And whether slave or free, we should seek to do good to and for one another.

This passage also reminds me of the parable of the unforgiving slave.  You can find it in Matthew 18:23-35.  In the parable, there is a king who wants to settle his accounts with his slaves.  Somehow, one of the slaves was found to owe ten thousand bags of gold.  Since he couldn’t pay, the master ordered that the slave, his wife, and his children and all his possessions be sold to repay at least a tiny portion of the debt.

The slave falls to his knees and begs for patience and even says he will pay back everything.  The master took pity on him and forgave his debt and lets him go.  As the slave is going out, he finds a fellow slave who owes him like $20, and he grabs him and starts to choke him, demanding to be repaid.  The fellow slave likewise falls to his knees and begs for patience and promises to pay the money back.  Does the newly forgiven slave do the same for his fellow slave?  No, he has his fellow slave thrown into debtors’ prison until he could pay which I don’t even know how that works that you can earn enough money in prison to repay.

The other slaves see this transpire, and they are outraged.  They go to the master and tell him all.  The master then calls this wicked slave back in.  The master confronts him asking, “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”  The wicked slave is then handed over to the jailers and to torture until he should pay back his far greater debt.

That parable is told about forgiveness or unforgiveness.  It ends with the strong warning that this is how our heavenly Father will treat each person who is unwilling to forgive their brother or sister from their heart.

There is one who is Master over all.  Vengeance is His, and He will repay. (Romans 12:19)  Whether slave or free, worker or boss, child or parent, wife or husband, we should seek to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21).  It should be our aim to build one another up, to serve one another, to love one another, and even to obey one another.  When we do these things, we give powerful testimony of the Lordship of Jesus Christ who is sovereign over all.

Before we pray, let’s look back at the slide that I showed for this passage at the beginning.  I filled in the exhortations that were missing.

Ektrepho – bring them up, nourish, Eph 5:29 feed and care

Douleuo – Serve, be a slave

When we do these things, we are a picture, a testimony, of the work of Christ.

Let’s pray.

Father God, help us to glorify you as we live our lives.  Help us to serve wholeheartedly.  Help us to be obedient.  Help us to submit to one another.  Help us to love one another.  We ask this in Jesus’ Name, Amen.