Accept One Another Like Christ Accepts You

Romans 15:1-13

Have you ever been in a situation where another person was driving you crazy, and you wanted to put them in their place? Or maybe you just wanted to give up because you were tired of putting up with them. How about relating to someone struggling with a sinful habit or attitude that just isn’t a temptation for you, and you wonder why it’s such a big deal for them all the time? How should you react? Do we have to put up with other people regardless? How does Jesus want us as his disciples to behave with people that we just don’t understand or get along with? Well, there’s a clue in our title for today: Accept One Another Like Christ Accepts You. This is a very important part of our Christian walk and can make a big difference in all our relationships. Let’s pray as we begin.

Today we make a start in Romans chapter 15, which in several ways is like a continuation of what we were studying last week. John pointed out that some of the things that may cause divisions between believers don’t really matter that much, but our mutual love and acceptance of each other is more important, that essential unity of the Body of Christ which is such an important factor in our witness and impact on the world. Chapter 14 used the example of what a person decides to eat and not eat as an area that could be divisive – it certainly was in Paul’s day – but not a valid reason for passing judgment on each other. Rather we are to “make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification,” as we read in verse 19 last time, not destroying the work of God for the sake of food or anything else that doesn’t really matter. The spiritual core of what unites us ought to overshadow any peripheral differences we may have.

Interestingly enough, the topic for the 9:45 time last week was also unity. Pastor Martindale quoted Ephesians 4:3: “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Here was another “make every effort” exhortation – and it got me thinking about a particular working relationship that I have that I had neglected and allowed to sour. I knew that there were some basic philosophical (and personality) differences that I had with this colleague that were unlikely to ever change. On certain issues we will never see eye to eye, so I had withdrawn from engaging him on certain questions or even telling him what was bothering me about some things he had said and done.

So I was convicted when I reflected on that phrase, “Make every effort.” I was not making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in this particular relationship. I was getting by, maintaining a semblance of peace, but abandoning the “bond of peace” that leads to mutual edification. We were no longer building each other up in our faith. So I resolved to speak with him this week and be reconciled. He actually beat me to it because he heard from someone else that I was upset with him, and he asked if we could talk. On its surface the conversation was not great. We each said some things that we had said before, not really backing down on our convictions where we were at odds with each other. But when we prayed together and forgave each other and began sharing on a deeper level, I sensed that the “bond of peace” was again restored. We may continue to rub each other the wrong way, causing offense at times without realizing it, but our essential unity has and can continue to be restored by the grace of God. As verse 4 from last week reminds us, “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.”

This theme of unity continues in today’s passage as well. Accept one another just as Christ has accepted you. This is crucial for fostering healthy, loving relationships. Let’s get started with verse 1 of Romans 15:

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. – Romans 15:1

This concept of some believers being strong in faith and others being weak was introduced in the previous chapter. It can be a pretty obvious contrast. Some people are ready to step out boldly in faith, to take risks for God, to press on in spiritual pursuits. They may be seen as reckless, impatient, impractical, or overbearing by others. They in turn may see those others as weak, slow, overly cautious, or prevaricating. Paul wants those who are strong in faith, like himself, to bear with the failings of the weak. However, I think we can extend the definition of strong and weak to include more than just faith. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, in our abilities, personalities, and spiritual lives – and in every area that we feel we are stronger or quicker or more stable or just more capable than someone else we need to bear with them, realizing that they will need to bear with us in our weaknesses.

I think of this often when we are playing Ultimate on Sunday afternoons. Each team almost always includes a wide range of skill levels. Sometimes we include people who have never even played before. The temptation might be to use only the best people on the team to advance the disk. That might be how “pleasing ourselves” would be defined in this situation. But there is usually an effort to give everyone a chance to play. And using one’s entire team is often a good strategy for winning. But weaker players are going to make mistakes, and the stronger players need to be willing to accept that. I’m glad that the culture of Sunday Ultimate is generally encouraging to everyone who joins in. However, playing any team sport or working effectively as a team requires bearing with other people to some extent and not just pleasing oneself.

Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. – Romans 15:2

As tempting as it may be, pleasing ourselves is a recipe for conflict and broken relationships, but pleasing our neighbors is a reflection of the kind of unselfish, gracious love that God has extended to us. Note that we need to please others for their good. Human nature sometimes has us pleasing others for what we can get out of the relationship. That’s why the term “people pleaser” has a negative connotation. Paul wants us to avoid ulterior motives here. If we please our neighbors for their good, it will serve to build them up, increasing strength and unity.

What does this look like in ordinary life? Can you think of someone that you have pleased for their good – someone you have complimented, encouraged, helped, taught, or served in a kind way? Some of us are better at this than others. But we all have a responsibility to build each other up.

For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” – Romans 15:3

This is a quote from Psalm 69, a psalm with several verses that are quoted in the New Testament as prophecies of the Messiah, foretelling what he would suffer. But as David wrote this psalm he was facing severe suffering of his own, including persecution for being zealous for God. “I endure scorn for your sake,” he says in addressing his woes to God, even as “zeal for your house consumes me.” The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me. In applying this to Christ, therefore, it is not obvious whom the “you” refers to. It could be God the Father, as people turn away from him and reject Christ as well. But from the context, the “you” could refer to believers, too. Jesus identifies so closely with his church that he feels personally the insults that we as his followers may receive. This is the kind of solidarity we need to have within his Body, where if one part suffers all suffer. There is no room for standing aloof from other people’s pain.

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 15:4-6

We have the benefit of the written word, the Scriptures, giving us examples of people who were willing to suffer for God and for each other. This requires a special kind of endurance which is a gift from the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we will see a positive outcome and sometimes we won’t. But either way we can be encouraged by the faithfulness of those who have gone before and be assured before God that we are doing the right thing when we love others with his love. Endurance and encouragement are such a wonderful gift from God, keeping us moving ahead despite obstacles and lifting our spirits along the way.

Our unity as believers is based on the unselfish love that Jesus has and which he demonstrated for us. Regardless of our differences we can bear with one another in that love and worship together in true unity of spirit. This is reflected in Galatians 3 where Paul asserts

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. – Galatians 3:28-29

We will be seeing more about God’s promise to Abraham a little later, a provision that opened the way for all peoples to join his family, not just the Jews, his physical descendants. No one is excluded, and the differences between us don’t matter in our relationship with God. No one is more loved or valuable than another in his sight. So we need to treat each other with that same sense of equality and acceptance. This is the basis for our unity as God’s people, all around the world. And this unity will be a witness in itself, as others watch how we relate to each other and acknowledge the miraculous work of God in bringing us together. Back to Romans 15:

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. – Romans 15:7

Here we come to this fundamental command. How has Christ accepted us? Fully and unconditionally. We read back in chapter 5 that “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We did nothing to deserve salvation. God loved us even in our fallen state. Ephesians 2:5 says that God “made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” Dead sounds pretty powerless and unattractive, doesn’t it. There is nothing that we can do to clean ourselves up. Jesus accepts us the way we are and tells us that he loves us. It is that love that led him to the cross where he lay down his life for us. Acceptance might sound passive, but it involves actively working for the benefit of the other person. Jesus accepts us the way we are, but he doesn’t leave us the way we are. He continues to set a standard of holiness. His grace means that he forgives anything, but excuses nothing.

In John 8, when the Pharisees brought before Jesus the woman caught in adultery, he accepted her, in contrast to the complete rejection of her by the Pharisees, to the point that they wanted to kill her. What did Jesus’s acceptance mean? It means that he confronted the Pharisees with their own sin and hypocrisy: “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” And for the woman it meant that he refused to condemn her himself, even though he would have been morally justified in doing so. He offered her forgiveness, but at the same time he told her to leave her life of sin. He was willing to forgive her behavior, but he would not excuse it. He would have offered that same forgiveness to the Pharisees too, if they had been willing to acknowledge their sin and turn to him for help. But apparently they chose to try to deal with it themselves as they slunk away without saying anything. Jesus was willing to accept them, too, but they refused because it would have required that they humble themselves before other people.

The word translated “accept” here literally means “to take to oneself” or “to take alongside.” It is used in some places to refer to taking someone along as a companion. It can also mean to receive someone. In Acts 28, when Paul was shipwrecked on Malta the islanders showed him and the others extraordinary kindness, it says, by building a fire in the wet and cold and welcoming them all to it. That sense of welcoming is the same word. It carries the image of Christ in Revelation 3, standing at the door and knocking, wanting to come in and eat with us. Acceptance involves a certain level of intimacy and vulnerability.

So this sounds like a tall order then, doesn’t it. It is not humanly possible to accept each other just as Christ has accepted us. It may involve suffering. It may involve giving something up, being humble and patient. Often it involves a long-term commitment. And we need his grace to do it, keeping in mind what is actually the best for the other person. So it doesn’t mean always giving in to whatever they want, but genuinely seeking and working toward what God wants for them, being willing to lovingly confront when that is necessary. We will never be perfect at this, our selfish natures get in the way too easily, but even glimpses of this kind of radical acceptance will get people’s attention, resulting in praise to God. It must be his work if it is impossible in human terms. It is this kind of miracle that we need to pray for in ourselves and in others.

For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth, so that the promises made to the patriarchs might be confirmed and, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written:

“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles;

    I will sing the praises of your name.”

Again, it says,

“Rejoice, you Gentiles, with his people.”

And again,

“Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles;

    let all the peoples extol him.”

And again, Isaiah says,

“The Root of Jesse will spring up,

    one who will arise to rule over the nations;

    in him the Gentiles will hope.” – Romans 15:8-12

Christ’s acceptance extends to all people. He became a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth. Jesus came to the Jews as a Jew, but his purpose extended to all the nations, all the ethnē or people groups who will be represented around his heavenly throne, according to John’s prophetic vision in Revelation 7. This was God’s promise to Abraham in Genesis 22:18, that all nations on earth would be blessed through his offspring. God repeated this same promise to Isaac in Genesis 26:4 and to Jacob in Genesis 28:14. These patriarchs would have had no way of knowing that it would be fulfilled in Jesus offering mercy to the Gentiles, resulting in their giving glory to God.

Paul quotes four passages then about the Gentiles. They seem to represent a progression in the relationship between them and God, reflected in how the gospel is coming to all people groups even today. In the first, the Gentiles are a passive observer of someone giving praise to the true God. These words were actually spoken by David in Psalm 18. David had many experiences of being among the Gentiles in his running away from Saul. He is giving praise to God for delivering him from his enemies. The Gentiles would hear the praises and understand something of who God was and what he was doing.

As the Gentiles would begin to acknowledge God they would then join in with giving glory to him. This is Step 2, in the second passage, as the Gentiles rejoice with God’s people. By Step 3 they are praising him independently, and the effect is spreading to other groups, with more and more peoples extoling God. And at the final stage we see Jesus as the Root of Jesse returning to rule over all the nations, with the believing Gentiles putting their hope in him.

This is often the same pattern when a church is planted in a new place. Believers go there and begin to praise and glorify God through their words and actions. People around observe this and gradually begin joining in, as they see the new life that God can bring. Eventually they become strong enough to give this witness on their own, whether or not the original church planters are still around. The lordship of Jesus is lifted up in the community, and still others will put their hope in him. This therefore is a foreshadowing of what the Kingdom of God will be like when Jesus returns to reign in person.

Paul closes this section of the chapter with a benediction:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

This gift of hope goes along with the gift of endurance and encouragement that we talked about earlier. Encouragement restores hope and bolsters endurance. Our God is a God of hope, giving us confidence that the best is yet to be. Regardless of how difficult our circumstances may seem now, we look forward to a place with him where every tear is wiped away, all limitations and weaknesses are removed, and the joy of his presence will be an eternal reality. This is the hopeful prospect that shines like a candle for us in the darkest night. We can trust that our destiny is secure with him, which should fill us with joy and peace, despite the difficulties that we face now. And the Romans that Paul was writing to certainly would not have had much to hope in humanly speaking, as they faced hardship, rejection, and persecution on a daily basis. But Paul was confident that all joy and peace could be theirs as they trusted God. As they were filled to the point of overflowing, their hope could be passed to others. Have you ever been in a situation where one person with hope and quiet confidence was able to spread that to others who were afraid or worried? Jesus calls you to be that person. The hope that he gives is not false hope, because we know that he always has our best at heart.

So let’s review the three words that summarize what we have received from God today: acceptance, unity, and hope. As Jesus has accepted us, we are able to accept each other. This acceptance is the basis for our unity, as brothers and sisters in Christ, in solidarity with believers all around the world. Our unity and hope are a witness to the world around us as we can offer something that is found nowhere else: confidence in what God has done and will do in securing the future.

I want to close with a snippet of verse that my mom reminded me of this week. It fits with what it means for us to accept each other as Christ has accepted us, something that may not be very easy or comfortable. It requires self-sacrifice and humility, things that go against the way of the world. Harriet Eleanor Hamilton-King was a 19^th century British poet who had a strong affinity for Italy and its struggle for independence from Austria. In one long poem, in her book called “The Disciples,” she narrated some of the sermons given by Ugo Bassi, who was a priest as well as an Italian nationalist, who ended up giving his life for that cause when he was captured and executed by the Austrians in 1849.

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain;
Not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth;
For love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice;
And whoso suffers most hath most to give….

This is completely countercultural, especially today, when so many people are focused on what they can get out of life rather than what they can give. Sometimes the sacrifices that we make can seem ineffective and useless, like wine poured out rather than drunk. But we know that we may need to suffer “according to God’s will,” as it says in 1 Peter, but that we can trust our faithful Creator. Our suffering is certainly not a waste, if it is within the will of God. In the midst of it we need to ask: What are we able to give because of our suffering, as we take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on God as the source of meaning and other people as the recipients of grace? What are we able to give? Hope, peace, and acceptance.