One Wise Among Fools

I Samuel 25

Welcome, and happy Mothers’ Day! Perhaps in a stereotypical fashion, I looked around the Internet a bit for some good Christian quotes about mothers. John Hopler, the director of Great Commission Churches, our “parent” organization, also sent some verses out to pastors this week. What surprised me was that I wasn’t very impressed by many of them. There was one by C.S. Lewis that wasn’t bad, but it was what I might call “too strong,” to modern ears, putting down those who aren’t mothers. There were a few by Billy Sunday that were pretty good, but that was about it. So I then widened my search to articles and sermons, and there, on the Desiring God website (the ministry of John Piper), in an article by guest contributor Rachel Jankovic, was the following absolute gem:

“Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another — and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.” – Rachel Jankovic

I don’t know anything about Rachel Jankovic other than the fact that she has written a book called “Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches,” but I find this quote pure gold. Mothers give up a lot and endure a lot and, well, lay down their lives a lot, and they do this for a long time – for decades. Motherhood is a huge blessing but it is also a huge sacrifice. In a poignant picture of Christ, they lay down their lives for those who can never repay the cost their mothers have paid. Most Christian mothers would say that, to misquote Hebrews, for the joy set before them, they endured motherhood, scorning its shame. But this only adds to the honor that they deserve. And so, if you are a mother, I would ask you to stay seated, but if you are not, I would ask you to stand up and give our mothers here a standing ovation!

Well, today, we continue with our series on David in the book of I Samuel, and although today’s message does not focus specifically on motherhood, it does focus on a remarkable woman. So let me give you the briefest of summaries of where we are with respect to the account of David’s life, and then we will go straight into today’s passage, which explores chapter 25 of I Samuel.  

After King Saul continued to disobey God’s commands, God pronounced judgment on him and declared that his rule would come to an end. The prophet Samuel, led by God, anointed a kid as the next king, an unknown shepherd named David. David went on to defeat Goliath and became a famous leader in Saul’s army. Saul became jealous, and Saul’s own insecurities and sin caused him to hate David more and more until he tried on multiple occasions to kill him. David departed from Saul, and for an extended period of time, David stayed on the run, hiding out in various places, while Saul and his army hunted for him. Last week we saw a remarkable “coincidence” (in reality, a miraculous orchestration of God) to have David and his men hide out in a cave that Saul also went alone into. In the dark, David cut off a corner of his robe but then felt a strong sense of remorse over doing this. His men wanted to kill Saul, who was defenseless against so many, but David strongly forbid them from doing so. Saul was allowed to leave the cave unharmed. Still unaware of the danger he had faced and unaware of David’s great mercy, Saul was shocked to find David lie down with his face to the ground before Saul and ask Saul why he wanted to kill him. David also asked God to judge between them. Saul, at least temporarily coming to his senses, wept loudly and confessed to David that he knew David would eventually become king. Saul asked David to swear that he will spare his family line, and David agrees to do so. Saul and his army depart, taking no action against David.

This brings us to today’s passage.

Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him; and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Paran. – I Sam. 25:1

The death of Samuel had to come as a shock to Israel. Samuel had been Israel’s premier prophet for decades, for generations. This single verse gives us only the barest essentials, but it would seem that perhaps David and his followers even joined the rest of Israel in gathering, burying, and mourning for Samuel. Perhaps Saul’s change of heart was still in force; perhaps, at least for now, he had stopped wanting to kill David and stopped trying to do so.

But I have to wonder how Saul took Samuel’s death. Saul may have seen this as a kind of victory; by outliving Samuel, perhaps he decided that Samuel’s pronouncements about God taking the kingdom from him would not come true after all. Perhaps David wouldn’t be the next king. Perhaps he could have a long and distinguished life as Israel’s king, and perhaps his offspring could continue the kingly line. Perhaps at this point he decided that the only thing keeping him from this future was David, and perhaps he started to resume his jealous behavior, his paranoia, and his hatred of the “Son of Jesse.” This is just speculation, but I will say that in the next chapter, we will see that this sinful behavior of Saul had resumed.

I also wonder how this news affected David. Samuel was the one person that, all these years, had believed in him, who had anointed him when he was just a boy, who had been his counsellor and confidant. Now that he had died, did this maybe affect David’s faith? Without “Israel’s prophet” around to someday declare that David was the new king, how could David ever become king? Who would ever believe it? It is true that David had a small band of followers, but they weren’t really getting much larger, and perhaps it seemed that more of the nation was loyal to Saul than ever.

A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite. – I Sam. 25:2-3

Interestingly, and appropriately, the name “Nabal” means foolish or senseless. In contrast, “Abigail” means my father’s happiness. Abigail, as far as I can tell, is only one of a few people in the Old Testament that are described as intelligent, literally, having good understanding. The others are Solomon (2 Chron. 2:12), Zechariah (1 Chron. 26:14), the Levites (2 Chron. 30:22), and Sherebiah (Ezra 8:18).  

While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! – I Sam. 25:4-6

I almost don’t want to interrupt the account here except to say that this is a blessing. The meaning, even if not explicitly stated, is “May God grant you long life! May God grant you and your household and all that is yours good health!” This is not something our culture does much anymore. 

“‘Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’” When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited. – I Sam. 25:7-9

So we see that Nabal’s shepherds spent some time with David and his men. As per the customs of hospitality, this means that David provided for them while they were staying there. This hospitality had to be difficult for David and his followers because they were poor. They were still an exiled people, and they had long ago lost any wealth they had had. It is likely that it was a struggle for David to keep his people from succumbing to outright starvation. And so David, through his messengers, politely reminds Nabal of this former hospitality, and he gently requests that they provide his people “whatever they can find.” This is an idiom that really means to give what you have purposed to give, not under compulsion, but given freely. David is not asking them to give sacrificially, but only to give a little of their surplus, of their excess. Then the messengers go silent, expecting to hear a culturally appropriate response, which would be to give generously, far more than just “a little of their surplus.”

I am sorely tempted to talk in depth about the implications here from a perspective of honor-shame cultures, but we will focus in on honor and shame in our series following this series, so I will only say that the reason people give generously, even lavishly, in honor-shame cultures, is so as to accrue honor, to enhance your reputation. From this perspective, nothing David’s men has done is in the least offensive, because they have basically given Nabal an easy opportunity to enhance his fame as a superlative benefactor and “citizen.”

Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days. Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” – I Sam. 25:10-11

Again, because we do not live in an honor-shame culture, we do not naturally understand how incredibly offensive this response would be to David and his men. First, much like Saul, Nabal questions David and his family line. He’s basically saying David’s a redneck, a country bumpkin, and nobody, and the implication is that David is so far beneath Nabal that Nabal will not gain any honor by bestowing generous gifts to him; indeed, the implication is that if Nabal even associates with David or his men at all, this will actually tarnish Nabal’s reputation.

From our cultural perspective, the issue is guilt. Nabal benefitted from David, so it is only fitting that David should benefit from Nabal. Indeed, this is the message David’s men gave. But they gave it from a shame perspective as opposed to a guilt perspective. It wasn’t that Nabal would be sinning if he didn’t bestow generously to David and his men, it was that Nabal had already received a gift; honor demands that a gift recipient give a gift back of greater or equal value. You see this kind of thinking firmly engrained in many cultures today. In fact, I have read that missionaries should be very careful in developing world countries not to give gifts that are too big, because the recipient will be unable to give a return gift of equal value, thus shaming him and creating a great strain in, if not completely breaking, the relationship. Westerners are generally completely oblivious of this and don’t understand why relationships are ruined when they give generously.

But in an honor-shame culture, Nabal’s actions are incomprehensible. They are so offensive that, if this story were told for the first time in such a culture, the listeners would probably gasp audibly at this point. “Who would do such a thing?” is what they would think.

David’s men turned around and went back. When they arrived, they reported every word. David said to his men, “Each of you strap on your sword!” So they did, and David strapped his on as well. About four hundred men went up with David, while two hundred stayed with the supplies. – I Sam. 25:12-13

Again, from our cultural perspective, we find David’s response the shocking one, not Nabal’s. Nabal was rude, sure, but David seems to be responding entirely out of proportion to the offense. Not so in an honor-shame culture. However, although honor-shame listeners would not be surprised at David’s response, we know as Christian believers that this is not an appropriate response. Jesus teaches the radical response of not only showing forbearance to one’s enemies, but also giving the other cheek to strike, going the extra mile with them, even continuing to give to them.

So what am I saying? Is David wrong to do this? For us who have the complete revelation of Scripture, yes, David is wrong. But to the contemporary listeners of this account, David’s actions seemed reasonable. And more importantly, in the heat of being shamed by Nabal in this way, David and his men also found this response appropriate; not only appropriate, but even demanded. “If he shames us like this, then we will shame him back.” What were they going to do with those swords? We don’t exactly know, and probably neither did David or his men. Even if they only intended to respond with equal shaming, the probability of escalation, even to the level of full-out attack, leading to great loss of life on one or both sides, was likely.

One of the servants told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. Night and day they were a wall around us the whole time we were herding our sheep near them. Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” – I Sam. 25:14-17

Here we see from the servant that David’s men were indeed very good to Nabal’s people. They basically worked for free, and never did they take anything from Nabal. But what can Abigail do?

Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, “Go on ahead; I’ll follow you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. – I Sam. 25:18-19

Now was Abigail right to do this? Should she have gotten permission from her husband? Aren’t wives supposed to obey their husbands? Certainly this would have been the expectation for listeners who heard this account close to the time it was written.

How generous was her gift? We tend to think it was extreme and lavish, but I think it was appropriate but not extreme. David has 600 men, plus likely families besides. This is not that much food when you think about all these people. This is basically one nice meal, maybe plus a little in the way of leftovers.

As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. David had just said, “It’s been useless—all my watching over this fellow’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!” – I Sam. 25:20-22

Now whatever David’s initial motivation was for taking those swords was, David’s anger has clearly grown. In fact, he has rashly made a vow with God to punish him severely if he did not kill every male. There is no way to characterize this behavior except as sinful. Again, those in an honor-shame culture would understand this response even if they didn’t endorse it.

Again, our cultural biases get in the way. We are a part of a law-guilt kind of culture. We would say that David presumed that he would get paid, when in fact there was no contract between him and Nabal for there to be any payment. We would say that Nabal was insensitive and kind of a jerk, but that he was within his rights to reject giving any kind of payment in return.

I am reminded of how, several decades ago, there was a huge issue in New York City over the “squeegee men.” These were people who, when a car sat a red light, would run up and clean the car’s windows, demanding payment. Such behavior is extremely offensive to us, but it is just a minor annoyance of life in honor-shame cultures. In an honor-shame culture, you pay because you have received a service. It doesn’t matter whether you agreed to the service; what matters is that you got it. Some of these “squeegee men” would become extremely offended if you refused to pay them. Why? Because they were recent immigrants to the U.S. and they came from an honor-shame culture.

When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you. – I Sam. 25:23-27

Again, I ask the question about whether Abigail was right to do this. Not only did she do all this without permission from her husband, who almost certainly would have strongly refused to do such a thing, but also, she spoke quite bluntly about her husband. Far from honoring him, she shamed him with her words. Listeners at the time this was written would be shocked at Abigail’s bluntness.

Should women be like this today? I am not going to directly answer this question, except to say, that, husbands, if you don’t want your wife to be an Abigail in your life, then don’t be a Nabal in hers!

“Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.” – I Sam. 25:28-31

Here we see both incredible insight (perhaps even this is a prophetic word from the Lord, particularly the part about him being the future king) and wisdom. Abigail is absolutely correct that if David goes to war against his own people, he will have done something terrible to his conscience, something he might not ever recover from. He will also be in a position much like Saul, whom many Israelites undoubtedly did not like because he had murdered the priests and their families in the one village that had previously helped David.

I like Abigail’s analogy of the sling. That had to hit David hard, bringing him to reflect back on his pure faith at the time of Goliath. I believe that in many ways, David’s slow-motion exile and being pursued by Saul was a much greater test for David than standing up to Goliath, putting his life on the line, had been.

By the way, this passage also reveals that Saul is still trying to kill David. Did David already know this, or was this a prophetic revelation to him? We don’t know. But in any case, we now know that Saul is falling back to his old, evil ways.

David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request.” – I Sam. 25:32-35

David, to his credit, drops his murderous plans. He accepts her generous, appropriate gift. I wonder if seeing her lying with her face to the ground reminded David that just a short time ago he too had taken this position, and it had led to Saul repenting of his murderous plans. I wonder if David was shocked to see that the same sinful nature in Saul lurked in the heart of David too. I wonder if he realized that God’s punishment on Saul, the removal of the Holy Spirit and the promise that the kingdom would be taken from him could happen to David, too. I am reminded a couple lines from Psalm 51: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.” – Psalm 51:10-11

When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing at all until daybreak. Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone. About ten days later, the Lord struck Nabal and he died. – I Sam. 25:36-38

Unless you have lived with a drunk/alcoholic parent or spouse, you don’t know what it is like. I have had some experience, although many have had vastly worse experiences than I did; my mother was an alcoholic and, seemingly like Nabal, primarily drank at night. It is a hard and lonely road to walk.

It took tremendous courage to tell Nabal what she had done. Abigail didn’t really have a choice, as word would have gotten out, and it was wise to wait to tell him when he was sober, or who knows what he might have done to her? Still, the news got him so agitated that he had a heart attack, and this led to death.

When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise be to the Lord, who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal’s wrongdoing down on his own head.” Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. His servants went to Carmel and said to Abigail, “David has sent us to you to take you to become his wife.” – I Sam. 25:39-40

She bowed down with her face to the ground and said, “I am your servant and am ready to serve you and wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” Abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five female servants, went with David’s messengers and became his wife. David had also married Ahinoam of Jezreel, and they both were his wives. But Saul had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Paltiel son of Laish, who was from Gallim. – I Sam. 25:41-44

Did Abigail have a choice whether to marry David or not? Well, from what we have already seen of Abigail, it’s pretty clear she had a choice even if she didn’t, if you know what I mean. Abigail had already proven that she was going to do what she was going to do. To me, the wording makes it look like she had a choice; it says David sent word to Abigail, “asking” her to become his wife.

David now has multiple wives. You would be hard pressed to find examples in the Bible where this goes well. But it was a cultural norm at this time, especially among those of wealth or high standing for other reasons. We don’t see a lot about Abigail beyond this passage, except to know that David traveled with both wives, Abigail and Ahinoam, that eventually Abigail bore him a son, and that hard times for Abigail lie ahead. I won’t say more now, but stay tuned! We will discuss this in a few weeks.

This chapter is a self-contained account with beginning, middle, and end, and many self-contained accounts in the Bible have a chiastic structure. What is a chiastic structure? One in which there is a parallelism between the beginning and end, between what comes just after the beginning and what comes just before the end, and so on. This was how ancient writers told their stories – it was considered good form. Although one can go overboard, I think it is worthwhile to study chiastic structures because it is a different form of storytelling that what we are used to. With us, the climax of a story is often near the end. But in the chiastic structure, it is in the very middle. Because we don’t normally think this way, we can miss what the author may well have intended to be the climax and pick something else that was probably not the author’s intention. In this account, we may be tempted to say that the climax is when Abigail says “yes” to David’s proposal. Imagine a movie version of the story: after she is told of David’s request, can’t you just imagine the music dropping out and there being a dramatic pause, before she says “yes” and the music swells? Or perhaps you think the climax is when Abigail humbly asks David to relent. Again, imagine the music drops out. You hold your breath. And then David begins to smile, the music swells, and you relax, because you know all will be well. But I don’t think either of these scenarios is at all what the author, inspired by God, intended. Here is the chiastic structure of the passage:

A: Abigail lives with her terrible husband Nabal (v. 1-3)

            B: David requests gifts in keeping with his services (v. 4-9)

                        C: Nabal rudely rejects David’s first plan (v. 10-11)

                                    D: David commands attack (v. 12-13)

                                                X: Abigail is told and “acts quickly” (v. 14-19)

                                    D’: David commands attack (v. 20-22)

                        C’: Abigail humbly rejects David’s second plan (v. 23-31)

            B’: David receives gifts in keeping with his services (v. 32-35)

A’: Abigail lives with her (mostly) wonderful husband David (v. 36-44)

Isn’t the parallelism nice? I love this stuff! What I want to point out, though, is the center, the X. If there is a central verse, it is the short phrase, “Abigail acted quickly.” This is the climax of the story, not what happens later. The servant tells Abigail the bad news. This is where the music should stop and where you hold your breath for a brief moment. Then Abigail starts ordering servants left and right around the large kitchen and the music swells!

I think there are a couple of messages here. One is that it is not too late to act, if when a crisis comes, you act quickly. Another is that sometimes God expects you to lead, even if you are not a leader. Abigail, as a woman in that culture, clearly overstepped her expected role. But the Bible never condemns her, even when it says she does not get permission or even tell her husband. Yes, the New Testament says that wives are to submit to their husbands, but there are times when submission (as in getting permission) is not something that there is time for, and there are times (for example when dealing with a husband who is standing in opposition to the ways of God) when submission is not even appropriate. Abigail acted, and she acted quickly. Wives (and future wives), when it is appropriate, I pray that you will do so too!

Now that we have finished this passage and rightly praised the actions of Abigail, I want to point out that there is something else here as well. Is there something, well, familiar about Abigail’s actions? Let’s think about this. Here we have a person who:

1.    Comes into the scene riding a donkey.

2.    Presents her own offering for someone else’s sin (in this case, the sin of Nabal).

3.    Declares the kingdom is here (specifically, David’s kingdom).

4.    Serves as a peacemaker, bringing two groups that are in hostility to one another to a point of lasting peace.

5.    Washes the feet of disciples (here, David’s “disciples”).

Who does this remind you of? This question reminds me of what it is like to teach a young children’s Bible class. What is the children’s first answer going to be? Jesus. They learn to say Jesus because, more often than not, they are right! Well, today they would be right again. Jesus came riding on a donkey. He presented an offering for the sins of all of us (admittedly an infinitely greater offering than the offering of Abigail, but it still illustrates the same idea). Jesus’ offering was such that the blame for our sin would fall on Him alone – that is, this offer is available to all of us. We receive it by faith, by telling God that we accept His offer. Again there are clearly differences here, but the fundamental idea that one person would seek to take the blame for sin of all is here in the story of Abigail. Jesus frequently told His disciples and the crowds about the kingdom of God and how it is “among you.” And there are multiple ways in which Jesus was a peacemaker – between us and God, certainly, but also between the Jews and Gentiles; read Ephesians 2:11-18 to see this latter role of Jesus. And of course, Jesus washed His disciples’ feet shortly before He went to the cross.

Another potential parallel is that, similar to how Abigail was initially married to a Nabal, a fool who did not love and honor God, but who ended up being married to David, a true faith-filled follower of God, we could say that Jesus was initially “married” to the Pharisees and other Jewish leaders who were “Nabals” as well, but who ultimately will be “married” to the true “bride” of Christ, both Jewish and Gentile believers who have, in faith, trusted in Him for salvation. 

Finally, we have Abigail’s name that means “the happiness of my father.” I am reminded of Jesus’ baptism, when God the Father says, “this is My Son, whom I love.” Jesus was certainly the happiness of His Father.

The Old Testament is actually filled with shadows and types of Christ. Until preparing the message this week, I had never considered Abigail as one such picture, but on reflection I think the parallels are compelling. Perhaps you find it a bit disconcerting that such imagery is not limited to the male gender. If so, I would remind you that Jesus describes Himself using female imagery as He says,

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. – Matt. 23:37

The background image today is a mosaic based on this verse.

Just as our mothers desire to shelter their “chicks” and protect them, so does our God and Savior desire to protect us. On this Mother’s Day let us pray that we would recommit to submitting ourselves under the wings of our Savior, “wings” that were opened wide and held on the cross willingly for us, and let us pray for our mothers that their faith in God would be strengthened as they, too, live and love sacrificially for those God has entrusted them with.