Living in Harmony

1 Peter 3

"Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you."--I Peter 3:1-6

Before I begin to explain these verses, I must make one thing perfectly clear. The word submissive in this context does not condone a woman doing anything immoral or illegal because her husband has asked or demanded her to do it. Neither does it authorize the husband the right to physically or emotionally abuse his wife if she refuses to obey a request or a demand regardless of whether it is illegal or immoral. 


If this behavior is occurring or the wife feels that it will occur if she refuses her husband’s request or demands, then the wife needs to contact the lawful authorities who can help her find a safe place. The Domestic Violence Hotline number is 1-800-621-HOPE(4673). However, if a woman ever feels that she is in immediate danger she should call 911.

Ok that being said, let’s look at what I Peter 3 has to say in regards to Harmonious living. Verse 1says “Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands”. What does "likewise" mean? I think in the context it refers to what John Farmer went over last week in I Peter 2: 18-19

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to the kind and gentle but also to the overbearing. For one is approved if, mindful of God, he endures pain while suffering unjustly.

Why does being mindful of God and enduring pain while suffering find approval from God? We are told the answer to that question in Philippians 2:14-15.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. 

So the answer is that we display to the unbelieving world our spiritual light or family resemblance as children of God.

So if wives are to be lights in the world these lights will be even more so illuminated in their homes and in the relational context of their husbands. Why? Going back to I Peter 3:1-2, we see the answer with respect to their unbelieving husbands.

“ ….so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior.”

Peter goes on to say, "Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious."

I Samuel 16:7b “…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

However, contrary to this I Peter 3 principle, the TV industry, the diet food industry, the glamour magazine industry, the sports industry, auto industry and the motion picture industry would have women believe that their outward beauty is of great worth and could or will last indefinitely. But this is a lie of the devil. The reality is that we live in a fallen world full of death and decay. This outward beauty façade cannot be maintained forever. Sooner or later the outward beauty starts to get old and decay just like every other living thing in the world. These industries try to make it appear better than it is by air brushing out all of the glamour model’s little imperfections. There was a great example of this last week when a glamour model’s arm got completely air brushed away by mistake and the mistake did not get caught until after the picture went to print.

I have chosen a few other examples of Hollywood icons who have recently been in the news to further illustrate this principle. I won’t mention their names but you may or may not recognize them from the recent news articles about them.

Here is a picture of a woman who, at a young age,had bought into Satan’s lie that beauty is everything. And here she is, 8 husbands later as well.

Less than two weeks ago she was admitted to the hospital for heart problems.

Here is a picture of another woman that bought into this lie in her younger years. She was also admitted to the hospital less than a month ago. She is married to her 9th husband.
Women having multiple husbands is not a new concept. In the book of John chapter 4 verse 18, Jesus told the woman that He had met at the well that she had already had five husbands and the man that she was now living with was not her husband.

We heard John Farmer teach two weeks ago on I Peter 1: 24, where Peter quoted the words of the prophet Isaiah ( actually Isaiah 40:8) that says “the grass withers and the flower fades (or drops off) but the Word of the Lord stands (or abides) forever.”

For these two women the flower has faded and is about to drop off. But this idea of the physical fading in desired outward appearance is not unique to only women.

Here is a picture of a well-known man at age 25 who concentrated strictly on his outward appearance and his own physical strength.

One of his famous quotes is: “Whereas Billy Graham is all about the hereafter, I'm all about the here and now.”  However, for him the here and now is no longer true because he died on January 23 of this year.

I suspect that Billy Graham, who may not live very much longer himself, will be glad after he dies that he was all about the hereafter and this poor man I suspect that he will regret for all eternity that he was all about the here and now.

Again remember what Isaiah the prophet said “the grass withers and the flower fades but the word of the Lord stands forever.”

Here is a picture of another well-known male celebrity at age 30. And more recently at age 63.

Again “the grass withers and the flower fades but the word of the Lord stands forever.”

So instead of focusing mainly on the outward appearance that man looks at, Peter advises the wives that they should primarily be focusing on their inner self by developing the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of far greater worth in God’s sight. This sound advice and is just as applicable to the husbands and to singles.

So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you.--I Peter 3:5-6

In verse 5 Peter reminds the wives that he is writing to that this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. He says they were submissive to their own husbands. Peter chooses Sarah the wife of Abraham as an example. He says that Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. He tells the wives that they are Sarah’s daughters if they do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Immediately after this Peter address how the wives should behave towards their husbands, he goes on to address how the husbands should behave towards their wives.

Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex (NASB says weaker vessel), since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered. --I Peter 3:7
What is the likewise there for? Again it refers back to I Peter 2:18-19

Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to the kind and gentle but also to the overbearing. For one is approved if, mindful of God, he endures pain while suffering unjustly.
How do you justify Peter’s weaker sex statement in light of today’s culture of equality of the sexes? Well as most women will attest to the fact that being more fragile does not mean being inferior.

For example, Christine and I have a set of China that we received as a wedding present. That China is highly valued by both her and me. I must tell you that I am very careful with it whenever we use it because it cannot be replaced. I bestow a lot of honor on it and I teach my children to do the same. In the same way I bestow a lot of honor on Christine. She is irreplaceable.

Now Peter mentions here that we husbands should live considerately with our wives bestowing honor on them that our prayers bay not be hindered.

There are three things worth emphasizing to husbands about this verse.

1. We are to be considerate

2. We are to continually bestow honor on them

3. We are to be praying for our: wives, children and circumstances

James 5:16 tells us “The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.”

"Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of the brethren, a tender heart and a humble mind. Do not return evil for evil or reviling for reviling; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “He that would love life and see good days,let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile; let him turn away from evil and do right; let him seek peace and pursue it."--I Peter 3:8-11

These are the top ten essentials for living a harmonious life.

1. Be united

2. Sympathize with others

3. Love the brethren

4. Have a tender heart

5. Be humble

6. Do not return evil for evil

7. Keep your mouth from speaking evil and guile

8. Turn away from evil

9. Do what is right

10. Seek peace and pursue it

Why should we want to live righteously (harmoniously)?

Peter gives the answer in the next verse.

"For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous,and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those that do evil.”--I Peter 3:12
Does that mean that we will live a life without any suffering? Peter answers that question with a maybe.

I Peter 3:13-22

Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is right? But even if you do suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence; and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing right, if that should be God’s will, than for doing wrong.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit; in which he went and preached to the spirits in prison, who formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, during the building of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were saved through water. Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers subject to him.
Here is The Amplified Bible Version of I Peter 3:21-22:

And baptism, which is a figure [of their deliverance],does now also save you [from inward questionings and fears], not by the removing of outward body filth (bathing), but by [providing you with] the answer of a good and clear conscience [inward cleanness and peace] before God, [because you are demonstrating what you believe to be yours] through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.[And He] has now entered into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with [all] angels and authorities and powers made subservient to Him.

A Quick Summary of I Peter 3

1. Wives to be submissive to their husbands and concentrate on inner beauty and not the outward appearance only for this if of great value in God’s sight.

2. Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner.

3. Live together in harmony with one another

4. If we do suffer for doing what is right we are blessed

5. Always be prepared to answer anyone who asks us to give the reason for the hope that we have in Christ with gentleness and respect keeping a clear conscience.

6. Baptism with respect to a clear conscience:

•Saves us from inward questionings and fears

•Provides us with a good and clear conscience before God

•Allows us an opportunity to demonstrate to believers and unbelievers what we believe to be ours through the resurrection of Jesus Christ