Overcoming Depression

Nehemiah 7-8

Welcome! Today we continue our series on Ezra and Nehemiah, focusing on Nehemiah 7 and 8. The walls of Jerusalem are rebuilt! This is what we saw at the end of last week’s message. Despite the persecution, despite the threats, despite the many devious plots against them, the walls and gates were finished. Jerusalem was once again a walled city. As we read last week,

So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God. – Neh. 6:15-16

Time to rejoice, right? Well, not so fast. First of all, as we saw last week, Nehemiah was still in the midst of a very stressful combination of situations. Here is what the next verses say:

Also, in those days the nobles of Judah were sending many letters to Tobiah, and replies from Tobiah kept coming to them. For many in Judah were under oath to him, since he was son-in-law to Shekaniah son of Arah, and his son Jehohanan had married the daughter of Meshullam son of Berekiah. Moreover, they kept reporting to me his good deeds and then telling him what I said. And Tobiah sent letters to intimidate me. – Neh. 6:17-19

If you recall, Tobiah was one of those foreign leaders eager to see the rebuilding effort fail. And the shocking thing these verses say is that Tobiah had many friends among the power elite in Jerusalem. These are Nehemiah’s own people, actively working against Nehemiah. They have business connections and connections of friendship with Tobiah and his people! As we discussed last week, these people really didn’t like Nehemiah. He had already ruined a bunch of their business dealings, because he had put an end to their charging interest (often at exorbitant, loan-shark rates) to their own people who were in financial distress due to a combination of a drought and the extreme demands of the wall-rebuilding project.

Nehemiah, once he had learned of this, had called everyone together, called them out on this, and called what they had done evil. This certainly did not endear Nehemiah to these people. But in spite of these problems, Nehemiah had to set continue his work of restoration. The walls and gates were finished. What was next? Let’s continue with the passage.

After the wall had been rebuilt and I had set the doors in place, the gatekeepers, the musicians and the Levites were appointed. I put in charge of Jerusalem my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah the commander of the citadel, because he was a man of integrity and feared God more than most people do. – Neh. 7:1-2

Nehemiah begins to establish some kind of order, some kind of organization, in Jerusalem now that the city is secure. There was a tradition going back at least to David that the gatekeepers, musicians, and other Levites associated with protection were assigned by the king, and Nehemiah assumes this function, as there is no king of Israel. Then he chose people to be in charge of Jerusalem. One had a role much like a mayor, and for this Nehemiah chose Hanani, his brother. Hanani was the person who went from Jerusalem to Susa in the beginning of the book of Nehemiah; he is the person who told Nehemiah about the sad state of Jerusalem. The second leadership role was likely more that of a military commander, and for that he chose the person already in a similar role, the commander of the citadel, a man named Hananiah.

Now, parsing the Hebrew, the description “because he was a man of integrity and feared the Lord more than most people do” seems to refer to his brother, Hanani. It’s an interesting turn of phrase. It implies that most people didn’t fear the Lord all that much. That is, most people were more stuck up in day-to-day living; perhaps you could say that most people had compartmentalized their faith, separating it from other aspects of their lives like work and how they spent their free time. But Hanani had on his heart the things of the Lord. It was he who told Nehemiah about the fallen state of Jerusalem. He cared about the things of God. And so Nehemiah set him in charge of Jerusalem.

I wonder if Nehemiah felt compelled to explain why he had chosen Hanani because he received some criticism for this choice. I can just imagine what those friends of Tobiah were whispering or even saying openly. Choosing family members for important political positions raises eyebrows now, and it has always raised the question of whether the person is chosen for genuine qualifications or just to reward friends and family because you have the power and can do this. Nehemiah is clear that this man was chosen not for his connections, but for his character. He was a man who loved and served God, and he was a man of integrity; that is, his love for God wasn’t just words, but it deeply impacted how he lived his life. He didn’t just talk the talk; he walked the walk.

I said to them, “The gates of Jerusalem are not to be opened until the sun is hot. While the gatekeepers are still on duty, have them shut the doors and bar them. Also appoint residents of Jerusalem as guards, some at their posts and some near their own houses.” – Neh. 7:3

There is some question about how to translate this verse, but I think the NIV has this correct. Why wait to open the gates? Why also shut them what seems to be early? Certainly part of the reason may have been to provide proper security, but I think it also was to begin to establish a kind of community among the residents of Jerusalem. The worldliness of the people, their foreign friendships and connections-these were things that Nehemiah clearly wanted to change. His desire wasn’t just to fix the walls and gates of the city, but to repair the love these people had for God in their hearts. This task was, in all reality, even more important than the work he had already done.

Now the city was large and spacious, but there were few people in it, and the houses had not yet been rebuilt. So my God put it into my heart to assemble the nobles, the officials and the common people for registration by families. I found the genealogical record of those who had been the first to return. This is what I found written there: - Neh. 7:4-5

You know, this reminds me a little of what I read these days about Detroit and some other so-called Rust Belt cities. Their populations have declined greatly, in some cases more than 50%, and some neighborhoods are almost vacant. Officials in these cities are trying to decide what to do. In some cases they are thinking of forcing the few people who remain to move and to let the land revert back to its natural state, so as to save on the costs of city services.

This was not what Nehemiah was thinking. Nehemiah wants people to move back. He wants houses to be rebuilt. He wants communities to be rebuilt. He wants the rubble to be cleared. He wants Jerusalem to become a vibrant, thriving city again. He knows this is the next step. God had clearly led him to travel 1000 miles from Susa to come to Jerusalem, and God had used him to help lead to the rebuilding of the walls and gates. Why? What could the purpose be, if not to renew the city itself? And with the renewal of the city, God desired to see the renewal of the Israelites’ hearts.

So although we do not see it spelled out explicitly, there can be no question what Nehemiah did next. He prayed, just has he had prayed so many times in the past. And I love the wording: God put it on his heart to do something specific. I hope you know and believe that when you pray seeking God to do a work in and through you, God will put things on your heart. The Holy Spirit, who lives inside all believers, will speak to you and guide you. Now we need to remember that God will never guide us to do anything not in accordance with His will as expressed through Scripture, and we need to remember that our hearts are deceptive and can lead us to do what we selfishly want to do. But when our desire is truly for God to work, we can trust that He will put things on our hearts.

And so Nehemiah prayed, and God gave him a curious plan – assemble the people and register them by families. We will get into why God might want such a thing in a bit, but first, notice that this path led Nehemiah to read the early accounts of the records of those who came in the first return. I will read through these lists now, without much comment, because they are nearly the same as what is given in Ezra 2. They are not exactly the same. Most likely, these lists are more like “final” lists, whereas Ezra 2’s lists were “initial” lists. If the second list was made upon arrival, whereas the first was made on departure, for example, there could have been some births, some deaths, some late joiners, some last-minute “chicken-outers,” and so on. A fair comparison I think is the elections we have just gone through. The vote count is not precise – it depends on when you made the count. Did it include or not include questionable or challenged ballots? Voters who voted absentee? And so on. Here is an abbreviated form of these verses:

These are the people of the province who came up from the captivity of the exiles whom Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon had taken captive (they returned to Jerusalem and Judah, each to his own town, in company with [list of leaders]: The list of the men of Israel: the descendants of [list of names and their numbers]. The priests: the descendants of [names and numbers]. The Levites: the descendants of [names and numbers]. – Neh. 7:6-43

The musicians: the descendants of [names and numbers]. The gatekeepers: the descendants of [names and numbers]. The temple servants: the descendants of [names]. The descendants of the servants of Solomon: [names]. The temple servants and the descendants of the servants of Solomon: [number]. – Neh. 7:44-60

The following came up from the towns of [list], but they could not show that their families were descended from Israel: the descendants of [names and number]. And from among the priests: the descendants of [names]. These searched for their family records, but they could not find them and so were excluded from the priesthood as unclean. The governor, therefore, ordered them not to eat any of the most sacred food until there should be a priest ministering with the Urim and Thummim. – Neh. 7:61-65

The whole company numbered 42,360, besides their 7,337 male and female slaves; and they also had 245 male and female singers. There were 736 horses, 245 mules, 435 camels and 6,720 donkeys. – Neh. 7:66-69

Some of the heads of the families contributed to the work. The governor gave to the treasury 1,000 darics of gold, 50 bowls and 530 garments for priests. Some of the heads of the families gave to the treasury for the work 20,000 darics of gold and 2,200 minas of silver. The total given by the rest of the people was 20,000 darics of gold, 2,000 minas of silver and 67 garments for priests. – Neh. 7:70-72

The priests, the Levites, the gatekeepers, the musicians and the temple servants, along with certain of the people and the rest of the Israelites, settled in their own towns. – Neh. 7:73

When did this original group come to Jerusalem? About 90 years prior to the current situation described in Nehemiah 7. Ninety years is a long time. It is unlikely that any of the people who went on that initial pilgrimage to Jerusalem were still alive. To go on that crazy, long, dangerous journey, unprotected, solely by faith, trusting in God, coming from a life of servitude, that whole experience was something this current generation had not experienced. In fact, given that it was 90 years ago, probably very few of them had even heard any first person accounts of the journey.

How often have you heard anyone tell you what life was like in 1920, giving a first-person account? Or to put it another way, if someone you knew had descendants come as immigrants to America in 1920, do you think they would think of themselves as immigrants? No, that experience, by and large, would be long forgotten. My father came to America in 1937, when he was 5 years old. I have never thought of myself as anything but an American. For 90 years, most of these Israelites had lived around Jerusalem, in its state of disrepair, and they had mingled with the people around them. This life was all they had ever known.

God put it on Nehemiah’s heart to call the people together, and to take another registry, another count of the peoples by families. It seems like he read this original account or made it available to the people at the same time. What was the likely effect? It reminded them that they were a freed people, a redeemed people, called and protected by God. It reminded them that God had previously exiled the Israelites for the unfaithfulness. All of this was preparation for what God was about to do.

When the seventh month came and the Israelites had settled in their towns, all the people came together as one in the square before the Water Gate. They told Ezra the teacher of the Law to bring out the Book of the Law of Moses, which the Lord had commanded for Israel. – Neh. 7:73b-8:1

It’s been 90 years since Zerubbabel brought the first wave of people back to Jerusalem. It’s been 70 years since the Temple was rebuilt. And it’s been 13 years since Ezra first came to Jerusalem. We haven’t heard much about him in recent chapters. But he is still here, still Jerusalem’s teacher, still the High Priest, still a man of God. And so here are all the people assembled together, eager in anticipation, as Ezra, an old man, brings out an even older book, the ancient Book of the Law of Moses. The people know some things about the Law, but this is something different – Ezra is going to read from the Torah directly. Not quotes of one or two or three verses, but giant chunks of Scripture. There is excitement as this historical event is about to take place.

So on the first day of the seventh month Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, which was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand. He read it aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively to the Book of the Law. – Neh. 8:2-3

Ezra the teacher of the Law stood on a high wooden platform built for the occasion. Beside him on his right stood Mattithiah, Shema, Anaiah, Uriah, Hilkiah and Maaseiah; and on his left were Pedaiah, Mishael, Malkijah, Hashum, Hashbaddanah, Zechariah and Meshullam. – Neh. 8:4

Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. Ezra praised the Lord, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, “Amen! Amen!” Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground. – Neh. 8:5-6

This was a holy moment. They knew they were in the presence of God. The Holy Spirit was filling of their hearts. Their hearts were quickened to God. When Ezra prayed and told of how great and awesome God was, their hearts said, “Yes, it is so!” And the people knew they were about to hear from God Himself.

The Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan and Pelaiah—instructed the people in the Law while the people were standing there. They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people understood what was being read. – Neh. 8:7-8

And so as it says in verse 2, from daybreak until noon, about 5 hours, Ezra read God’s word. This of course was in Hebrew. It was likely that these people’s knowledge of Hebrew was not that great, in general. Large portions of Ezra and Daniel are written in Aramaic, not Hebrew. The Levites were there while Ezra read, explaining what the passages meant, making it clear. And so, for 5 hours, the people soaked up God’s Word. For 5 hours, they drank out of the proverbial fire-hose. So much was new. So much now for the first time made sense.

Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is holy to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. – Neh. 8:9

So much was new. So much now for the first time made sense. And so much of what they heard pierced their hearts. The Holy Spirit brought conviction. They realized that what I, as a Jew, realized at the time I became born again – that God had not made them His Chosen People because they were special; no, they were special only because God had made them His Chosen People. They realized what I realized at the time I became born again – that they, and I, were not righteous, but wicked sinners, and that they, and I, were fully deserving of God’s punishment.

They realized what I realized at the time I became born again – that they, and I, had grieved the heart of God, that despite all the ways God had showed his love to them, they, and I, had treated Him with contempt. And they did what I did on the day I became born again – they wept. They mourned. They grieved.

They realized that although their fathers and grandfathers had come back from Babylon, a symbol of sin, they had brought Babylon with them. Babylon was in their hearts. Although God had rescued their earlier ancestors from Egypt, the sins of Egypt were still with them. Egypt was in their hearts. They were no different than those Israelites who grumbled in the desert and God made wander for 40 years only to die in the desert. They were no different than their forefathers who became so corrupt in Judges that again and again, God allowed them to come under foreign rule so that they cried out to God at last. They were no different than those who lived under the increasingly corrupt kings of Israel and Judah, for whom God at last allowed heathen rulers to uproot them and carry them off in slavery to foreign lands. And seeing the truth about themselves, they wept.

Scenes like this, of thousands mourning, grieving over their sin, have happened again and again in the great revivals of history. Not just in America, but throughout the world. And you see it back in Acts 2, when the Spirit brought conviction and Peter spoke to the crowds. What does it say? They were cut to their hearts. It is what brought Isaiah to say, “Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips!” It is what the Spirit says to the Laodicean church in Rev. 3:17: “You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.” It is what we might hear the Spirit speak to us now, if our faith has been on autopilot, if we have tried to keep on sinning and not repent, if we have allowed the world, or self, rule on the throne of our hearts instead of Christ.

Our Christian lives should be punctuated by moments when we freshly see that our hearts have betrayed us, when we see our sin for what it is in the presence of the awesome and terrifying holiness of God. We should have moments when we see that we are trying to change by self-effort, and we see how pitiful, how inadequate, and how hopeless these efforts really are. We should have moments when we weep, because we see the difference between playing games with God and truly living for Him. No matter how long we are believers, I believe we should still periodically have these moments. I had one just last week, as I met with the other pastors in our region, and I realized that, when it came to this church, I had so little faith in God that I wasn’t even asking Him to do great things through us. And it grieved me that I did not think more of my Savior.

Now the shocking thing to me in this passage is not that the people wept. The shocking thing to me is that the Nehemiah, Ezra, and the Levites who were explaining things said to stop. Why would they say that? Isn’t this repentance, this self-awareness of our own pitiful state, a good thing?

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a holy day. Do not grieve.” Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them. – Neh. 8:10-12

To answer my question about whether repentance – about whether self-awareness of our depravity – is a good thing, the answer is yes, but only for a moment. I have entitled this message Overcoming Depression, and perhaps it is misnamed, as I am not really talking about a seven-step process to help get out of the depths of clinical depression. I don’t want to make light of depression, which can be a serious and life-threatening illness with a myriad variety of causes.

Many people who experience depression are not even what we would call depressed; that is, they aren’t feeling particularly bad about themselves; they simply feel bad, down, muted, not themselves. And the weight of it can feel like you are suffocating, like you just can’t get a breath of good air. I have great compassion for anyone who is going through this – I have been through it once, for a fairly short time, but that little taste was enough for me to never make light of those who struggle with it for extended periods of time.

But the word depression has many meanings. And the one I am focusing on here is the sense of our own inadequacy, when we look to ourselves and don’t like what we see. Sometimes we compare ourselves to others and wonder why we can’t be like them. Sometimes we just hate who and what we think we are. I believe it was to this kind of thinking Ezra and Nehemiah and the Levites were responding. When the Holy Spirit illuminates our hearts, when we see what wretched sinners we really are, when we see that all our righteousness is as filthy rags, our response should be to immediately look to God. And if we understand Scripture, we should not see an angry father, but we should see open arms, palms with nail marks through them. We should see the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world. We should see the loving Father in the parable of the prodigal son, running to meet the man who has at last come to his senses. We should immediately know that we are loved, loved so much that it would undo us, it would unmake us, if we really had a glimpse of how deep that love runs. God is love.

When we see us honestly, truly, and we want to weep, we should take our eyes off of ourselves and look to Christ. He too would say to us, “Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Not your own joy. Not joy you are supposed to self-produce. But joy that comes from God, that is found when we look to God, that is part of God Himself. We are what we are, but He is what He is. Good. Kind. Compassionate. Loving. Caring. Wonderful. Peace-giving. Secure. Strong. Protective. And, inexplicably, crazily, scandalously in love with us. Not because of what we are, but because of who He is. And just as the Israelites went home that day to celebrate, to revel in God’s love for them, to rejoice in just how wonderful God is, we too should move quickly from the pain of self-revelation to the joy of seeing and knowing the love of God.

Now, I feel like I almost don’t have to say this, but just so no one is confused let me say it. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t spend time confessing our sins. That’s not what I am saying. In fact, you are going to see some extended weeping in Chapter 9, as the Israelites do exactly this. But what I am saying is that there should be times in your walk, just as when you began your walk in Christ, that the Holy Spirit brings on you an overwhelming clarity of your utter wretchedness in the flesh. This is not a position we are supposed to maintain. Behold it, allow God to speak to you through it, and then take your eyes off of yourself and put them on Christ.

On the second day of the month, the heads of all the families, along with the priests and the Levites, gathered around Ezra the teacher to give attention to the words of the Law. They found written in the Law, which the Lord had commanded through Moses, that the Israelites were to live in temporary shelters during the festival of the seventh month… – Neh. 8:13-14

It is Day 2 of this incredible, historic time in the history of God’s people. To go back to the last time anything like this had happened, you have to go back to the reign of Josiah, when a scribe read from a scroll that had been found and read it to the people. There is no record of anything like this happening after this day in the Old Testament. I would say that the next comparable event is what happens in Acts Chapter 2. The people have wept, and they have rejoiced. By the way, I love how it describes how they were to take care of those who didn’t have food, as well as their own immediate families. Part of our response to knowing the love of God is to give generously, lovingly, to those who have need. But now it is Day 2, and they learned about the Festival of Booths, also called the Feast of Tabernacles, and that it was time to do it.

and that they should proclaim this word and spread it throughout their towns and in Jerusalem: “Go out into the hill country and bring back branches from olive and wild olive trees, and from myrtles, palms and shade trees, to make temporary shelters”—as it is written. – Neh. 8:15

This was a holiday for the entire people of God. Families were to do this together. It was to remind them of their days in the desert, of being rescued from Egypt. As the people now relearned of this holiday, no doubt they thought how it was doubly meaningful to them. How 90 years ago they too had a journey through a desert, leaving their “Egypt,” Babylon, to come back to the Promised Land. They too were a redeemed, a rescued people. They too had every reason to remember and to celebrate.

So the people went out and brought back branches and built themselves temporary shelters on their own roofs, in their courtyards, in the courts of the house of God and in the square by the Water Gate and the one by the Gate of Ephraim. The whole company that had returned from exile built temporary shelters and lived in them. From the days of Joshua son of Nun until that day, the Israelites had not celebrated it like this. And their joy was very great. – Neh. 8:16-17

I just love this. These people had never done this before. I love the attitude of someone who reads something in Scripture and says, OK, let’s do what it says! They didn’t worry about how foolish they would look. They didn’t even worry about finances – recall how just a little while earlier, as I shared last week, they were worrying about their debts, the drought, their problems caused by having to work on the wall instead of in their fields or doing whatever they did for a living. Nobody is complaining about anything like this now. Nobody is saying they have something more pressing to do. These are a people newly in love with God, and they will serve Him with their all, because they know He will provide if they remain obedient and sensitive to Him. It says nothing like this had happened all the way back to Joshua! Find the book of Joshua in your Bible and you will get an idea of how many generations ago that was. That’s practically back to Moses, to the days that the Law was first given.

Day after day, from the first day to the last, Ezra read from the Book of the Law of God. They celebrated the festival for seven days, and on the eighth day, in accordance with the regulation, there was an assembly. – Neh. 8:18

Oh, I have to leave you hanging! What happened next? Well, you can read it this week. We will talk about it next week. Let me wrap up by commenting on the end of verse 17: “And their joy was very great.” As Jesus prayed in John 17:13 the night before the crucifixion: “I am coming to You now, but I say these things while I am still in the world so that they may have the full measure of My joy within them.” Jesus’ desire, God’s desire, has always been to give us joy. The purpose of conviction is to bring us joy. Even if you have been a Christian many years, I would plead with you to seek the Lord, to open your heart fully to Him, to seek the touch of the Spirit, and to ask Him to fill you freshly with the joy of your salvation, even if He must touch you with the pain of conviction to bring you there.