Today, we reach the end of the relationship series we started back
in February. It has been an encouragement to me, and I hope also to you. If you
missed one of the messages, please go back and listen online. Right now, we
will complete the series looking at Love Actually. Let’s pray:
Father God, you are love. We’re all seeking and searching for love. We all want to be filled. We don’t want loneliness. I pray that You would speak to us about love, real love. Show us actually what love is. May we not be tricked by counterfeits, may we not yield to deceitful things which may satisfy for a moment, but are burned up like chaff, making us feel even more empty and discouraged than before. We need you. Speak to us, fill us, and transform us, I pray. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Did you know there was a movie with this title, Love Actually? It was released back in 2003, and it was billed as “the ultimate romantic comedy.” It had about a dozen main characters. If you can imagine a 2 hour movie with a dozen main characters, well the story can’t help but come across as muddled and shallow. Worse than a shallow story though, the writer and director’s treatment of love itself is disappointingly shallow.
Let me give a quick caveat, a warning. I happened to see parts of the movie on a transatlantic flight in 2004, and I do not recommend it. It is inappropriate for a number of reasons. Even the semi-sanitized version for public consumption on an airline was unpleasant in a number of places and it would definitely be unfit for watching unedited.
I mention it because in this movie and just like in hundreds of other love stories, there’s a conceptual realization that love is needed and that love is good. I don’t think any of us would argue with that. Unfortunately, love in this movie is what you might expect from the ultimate romantic comedy: serendipitous, clandestine, transient, and self-serving; lucky, mysterious, ever-changing, and focused on me. Love is portrayed as this almost magical attractive force. A person walks around with this incredible magnetic force pulling them relentlessly toward some people and repelling them away from others.
It’s strange, but this concept of love is a lot like one of the Windows 7 screen savers. There is a screen saver that shows bubbles or spheres and they constantly change their behavior. Sometimes two bubbles will get close together and float along, then there will be a little bumping between other bubbles and they fly apart. At the same time, some of the bubbles shift up or down, left or right like a kind of bubble mob. Some bubbles can pass through or over other bubbles. Other bubbles continuously bump into others. Everything is continually changing.
So just like the scarce contact between the bubbles, in our modern culture, love is viewed as a scarce resource. Get it while you can by whatever means you can, because you never know if you will ever have the chance again. Or, we want to get what little we can hoping that chance encounters will somehow fill this emptiness, this love hunger that we have. Or sometimes, we put up walls and barriers in certain areas of our lives because we have been hurt or disappointed in that area of life. Then, we just pass by or pass over others without forming any connection at all.
I found the key quote from the movie. One of the characters says,
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. ... It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. … If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around."
Depending on where we go and what we do, evidence of love can and does keep popping up. However, I’ve done a decent amount of traveling over the years. And it is true, to see the people at the airport warmly greeting a loved one is a bit heartwarming. But the vast majority of travelers don’t find anyone waiting for them at the airport. We just pass through without a smile or a kind word. There may be evidence of love, but do we ourselves experience love actually?
This is not an easy question for most of us to deal with. In part, it is difficult because we experience different kinds of love. We experience and reciprocate the love of our spouses. We love our husband or wife and they love us back. We experience and reciprocate the love of our parents. We love our Mom and Dad and they love us back. We experience the love of our siblings. We love our brothers and sisters, and they love us back. Our friends love us and we love them back. And yet, as we walk down through the years coming and going through the “arrival and departure gates” of the stages of life, some of us are just empty and we never see anyone we recognize and there never seems to be anyone to meet us where we are. And we come to a point where we stop and say I sure do get around, but do I experience love actually? Do I really feel loved? There are all these examples where I see love displayed even to me in my life, but what if I don’t feel loved?
In answer to this question, I think there are three or four kinds of people. You’ve got people who do not have love hunger, and do not have Christ. They appear to be satisfied without Christ. These are the people that David puzzles about in the Psalms. He talks about the wicked people who do not ever get tired of their wickedness. People like that are most definitely to be pitied. I Peter 2:10 talks about people who follow the corrupt desires of the sinful nature. He describes them as “brute beasts, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed.” We must not think that the eternal state of these people is hopeless, but we must realize that prayer and the Holy Spirit are the only means to reach them. Yes, we can love them and share with them, but apart from a change of heart, there is no hope, and “like beasts they too will perish.”
The next two groups, I want to look at together. You have people that have a love hunger and do not have Christ and there are people that have a love hunger and do have Christ. Putting these two groups together is a bit dangerous doctrinally. However, I want to talk about them together because of what they have in common. These two groups know that something is missing, but they haven’t been able to experience love actually, not in a fulfilling and sustaining way. Now, there is the key difference that those who have Christ know that He is the answer. Those who do not have Christ are seeking still to find the answer. And yet, they are both hurting and not experiencing love actually. I think a great many people fall into these two groups.
In the last group are people who have Christ and daily experience his presence and his love. They know love actually, consistently, genuinely. If you are in this last group, then I exhort you to pray earnestly for the saints who do not experience the love of Christ as you do. Many hurting people are desperate for a change, for a glimmer of hope, for the smallest beam of light.
Now, you may be asking, how does John come up with this stuff? Where does he get off telling me there are groups of people and all this gibberish? Honestly, the reason I speak of this is that I am in group three. I am convinced that Jesus Christ is the answer to the hurt in my heart. I believe that he is my salvation. I love to worship Him and sing to Him and marvel at His creation and to talk to Him. If I share the gospel or testify to what He has done for me, I feel encouraged and happy. But if I am completely honest, there are times when I feel desperately alone. I feel like I do not connect with anyone, not even God.
A long time ago, I came to Peter’s position where Jesus asked, “You do not want to leave too, do you?”
Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." John 6:68-69
If I live every minute of my life on this earth in group three, that’s okay. I know that I have eternal security in Christ. On the day that we are reunited, he will wipe away every tear from my eyes, and I will experience uninterrupted love actually forever and ever.
But! I don’t think God’s intention was that we would live perpetually in an unfulfilled love state. For one thing, I’ve met people from group four. There are folks who experience the love of Christ, the presence of God so deeply that it brings them to tears to be away from it.
Another reason that God does not desire us to live unfulfilled is that Christ’s words clearly present experiential love on a grand scale for all believers.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:9-11
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
If Jesus intended us to remain in His love, surely he desires us to know his love. Likewise, if He commands us to love one another as He has loved us, He must place that love within us. We can’t even understand the love Christ has for us apart from the Holy Spirit living inside of us. On our own, we can only get bits and pieces of His love.
So, why am I in group three and not group four? There are many reasons this could happen, but I think one of the most common was exemplified by Francis Chan so well that I’m going to let him tell you about it himself.
I think fear of the unknown, fear of losing control, these things push us away from opening ourselves completely, from seeking God with all our hearts. I was telling Carl this the other night. In my “base level” programming, losing control is the thing you must never do. My kids are here, so they can laugh and say, “Dad, you lose control all the time. You yell at the drop of a hat.” Unfortunately, in this convoluted stinking thinking, yelling at the kids to get them to conform is somehow okay with making sure I maintain order, that I maintain control.
Chuck Swindoll wrote a book titled Flying Closer to the Flame. He talks about the moth and how it will fly too close to the flame even to its own demise. We likewise draw near to the fire, but not too close for fear that we might be consumed. I want to be warm, but not get burned.
There are multiple verses that speak of God as a consuming fire including Hebrews 12:29. Hebrews 12:27 even talks about “the removing of what can be shaken.” I can be shaken, so does that mean me too? It’s as if I’m afraid that the fire will consume me.
If that is your fear that you draw back from the flame because of fear, take a look at Revelation 3:18
I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Revelation 3:18
God desires to create in us and provide for us that which is eternal. He calls us to holiness as He is holy. Just like His call to love, if He calls us to holiness, He must make it possible.
One other item I want to point out for those who find themselves in group three. Maybe, you once were in group four, but now you find yourself struggling and muddled back in group three. Honestly, I think most believers would and should say they have been in group four even if for a short time. I remember when I accepted Christ and really understood that I was saved from eternal damnation and hell. I was practically euphoric and hoped that the feeling would never end. The joy of salvation comes from experiencing the love of God genuinely, actually.
Revelation 2 speaks to the truth that we can fall away from the love of God.
I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first… Revelation 2:2-5
We must consciously and deliberately look to Christ and abide in His love. If you have fallen, stepped back, or gotten distracted, I encourage you to return to Your first love.
I want to make one more point about how we can get stuck in group three living. This is probably the hardest point for our American ears, but certainly not limited to this culture. We desire to conform to the expectations of others and the expectations of our culture. I don’t know about you, but I want to be in the know, I want to have it all, I want to have it my way, I’m convinced that I deserve a break today, I want to open happiness. There are inane TV shows that I like to watch. I need to keep up with the news on the internet, but not just the news, I want to have the access to campy ridiculous things with no value. I can listen to hours of sports radio and incidentally find out about all the pills and procedures a man needs to conform to the expectations of this dying world. I even can learn the best techniques for personal development, things that put me in charge of my life, and things that help me position myself so that I can become not a child of God, but a “prince” among men.
Romans 12 says this:
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Romans 12:2-3
I wanted verse 2, but when I read the passage I kept verse 3. Please, I ask you to be like-minded and “think of yourself with sober judgment.” It’s so easy for us to say that it’s just for fun. We’re only relaxing. It helps me unwind. God wants to prosper me, so doing what the world says about how to get ahead isn’t wrong, is it?
If you are having a hard time experiencing God’s love, I want to challenge you with this verse from I John …
Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. I John 2:15
I always thought of this verse as loving the world makes us unable to love others which is true. But yesterday, God kind of flipped the meaning around in my mind. Loving the world and anything in the world, prevents the love of the Father from residing in you. This concept has the potential to be life transforming. I don’t know what you love. But whatever we allow to grab and hold our attention, whatever consumes our time and attention that is what we love. If there is a giant gaping abyss where your heart ought to be and you have something in the world that you need compulsively, can’t live without it, I challenge you, I encourage you, I exhort you, turn away from the things of this world.
When you do, you’re going to stand out. People are going to see that you are different. Group four people are aliens and they are recognized as such (I Peter 2:11 and John 15:19). But if you really want to satisfy the love hunger in your life, if you really want to experience love actually, then you will not care what others think about you.
When you turn away from the world, don’t stop there. Luke 11:24-26 talks about an evil spirit driven out of a man that comes back and finds the house in order, “swept clean.” Then, the evil spirit finds seven more and the condition of the man is worse than at first. Don’t just kick out the distractions of this world. Pursue God fervently.
Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
We must pursue God.
This message was born partly out of my experience and partly out of what I have witnessed in the life of a friend of mine. What I have witnessed myself is that I can experience God much more deeply and richly. I can experience love actually when I prepare these messages. Unfortunately, I can only give you a shell of what God gives me. The truth is there, but there is something that God does one-on-one that cannot be replicated from one man to another.
Oh that I would have known what was there if only I had pursued God sooner. You see, I have nothing to bring you. The only thing I bring on Sunday morning is my follies and my failures. Anything you hear that is good, anything that blesses you that comes from God. As I prepare the message, I literally wrestle with God. I have to cling to him out of sheer terror. I have to hold on to him until he blesses me. Otherwise, I have nothing to bring to you.
I waited until the fear of man forced me to cling to God. You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to wait until you have to. Choose to seek him now. Stand at the door and knock until your knuckles are bruised. He won’t let you knock that long, but be prepared to if you had to. Ask him again and again and again, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
I know that I can pursue God more fully. Not just when I have to give a message. My commitment is to seek Him diligently, not just when I have to. If you do that too, you will find love actually.
Before we close out this message, I want to take a minute to talk about what’s going to happen next if you have made a commitment to pursue God.
This is a story of two kings: King Amaziah and King Hezekiah. Both were kings of Judah. Amaziah was the great-great grandfather of Hezekiah. You can read their stories completely in II Chronicles 25 and 29-32.
Hezekiah is the more familiar probably, so we’ll start there. Hezekiah did what was right in the eyes of the Lord just as his father David had done. He repaired and purified the temple, restored the temple sacrifices, celebrated the Passover and broke down all the idol worship in the entire kingdom. Actually, the king didn’t break down the idols, the people did that after Hezekiah led them back to the Lord.
Then, II Chronicles 32 opens this way …
After all that Hezekiah had so faithfully done, Sennacherib king of Assyria came and invaded Judah. He laid siege to the fortified cities, thinking to conquer them for himself. II Chronicles 32:1
The Bible that we read together as a family says it this way, “Hezekiah had been completely faithful to the Lord. But in spite of that, Sennacherib came and marched into Judah.” It can seem unfair, but you may experience something similar if you pursue God with your whole heart. You cannot expect Satan to ignore the fact that you’re in fellowship with the Father and Son.
Hezekiah responds to this threat by seeking God earnestly. Some of the most cruel and vicious taunting in the Bible can be found in the messages Sennacherib sends to Hezekiah. They mock all the reforms of Hezekiah saying over and over that none of the other gods in the region saved their people, so why should Hezekiah’s God save his people. Despite these taunts that cut to the quick and raise doubts to a fever pitch, King Hezekiah and the people remain dedicated and committed to the Lord.
You know the outcome. It is incredibly short in the telling, but must have been unbelievable to behold. “The Lord sent an angel who annihilated all the fighting men and the leaders and officers in the camp of the Assyrian king. So he withdrew to his land in disgrace.” II Kings 19 counts the slain as 185,000 men.
Even though the vast army of the Assyrians had the people trapped in Jerusalem and under siege, Hezekiah sought the Lord and sought the Lord and sought the Lord, and the Lord delivered Hezekiah.
What about King Amaziah? His story is different. Amaziah “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but not wholeheartedly.” He assembled an army from Judah and Benjamin. He also hired 100,000 soldiers from Israel for 100 talents (almost 4 tons) of silver. Then, a man of God comes and tells Amaziah that he cannot march out with the troops from Israel because the Lord is not with the men from Israel. If he does, they will be defeated. Amaziah complains, “What about the money?” The man of God replies, “The Lord can give you much more than that.”
Amaziah does the right thing and dismisses the troops from Israel and they are furious. The men of Judah went on to win their battle, but the troops of Israel raided towns in Judah on their way home killing 3000 people and “carrying off a great deal of plunder.”
Even though Amaziah had done the wrong thing by hiring the Israelites in the first place and even though he had won his battle, he abandoned the Lord and took the idols of the conquered nation of Edom. After abandoning God and worshiping those idols, Amaziah decides to fight against Israel who had raided his land. This is disastrous. Amaziah himself was captured, and Jerusalem was pillaged.
I share both stories because troubles will almost surely come. We must be prepared to respond to those troubles. Will we cling ever more tightly to the Lord or will we doubt his provision and turn back to the world to meet our needs?
The Lord loves you so much. I cannot adequately recount his love. His only Son stepped down out of heaven and gave up a perfect dwelling place that we cannot imagine. He gave up his relationship with His Father there on the cross. He took sin upon himself for us.
I’ve shared this verse before.
Woe to me because of my injury! My wound is incurable! Yet I said to myself, "This is my sickness, and I must endure it. Jeremiah 10:19
Jesus bears the scars of his suffering forever. We will see them. God literally turned himself inside out on our behalf, to redeem us that we might be with him forever.
He is there waiting with outstretched arms. Run to Him. Abide in Him. Experience His love actually. Let’s pray.
Lord Jesus, You are true love. John 13 says You showed us the full extent of Your love. When we do not experience Your love, help us to abide in You. Guard us and lead us away from the temptation to fill our emptiness with the things of this world. Help us to go further up and further in to Your love. In the name of our Savior, Jesus. Amen.
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