The Emotional Christian

Last week we began a new series entitled The Overcoming Christian. We looked at Revelations chapters 1 through 3 and read of warnings to seven churches. Each of the warnings ended with the phrase “to him who overcomes.” We learned that the Greek word for “overcome” is nikeo, from the word nike, which means victory. In fact, the Greeks believed in a goddess Nike who was the goddess of victory.

I gave the picture of someone running a long race, getting slower and slower, eventually walking, but finally finishing (hours after the winners have crossed) as a good example of what nikeo is not. Nikeo is winning, not finishing. We are not supposed to just finish the Christian race, but to win. This series explores what it means to win, to overcome the world, the flesh, and the devil, in our Christian “race.” I even said that I would “ban” the use of the phrase “Christian walk” during this series, instead calling it the “Christian race.” I closed with I Cor. 9:27, which says:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. – I Cor. 9:27


So today I want to talk a little about overcoming in the area of our emotions. This is potentially a huge topic. We could spend months discussing it!

The first point I would make today is that we are called to be the lords of our emotions; they are not to be lords over us. What does this mean? First off, it means that we disagree with our culture when it says that we “can’t help” responding to our emotions. People justify sin with expressions like, “Hey, I’m only human,” or “I had to give in to my passions,” or “the alcohol made me do it.”

These are all false. Note that if you are a Christian believer, then in a very real sense you are not “only human.” We have the Holy Spirit living in us, guiding us, teaching us, and empowering us to say no to unrighteousness. But even apart from this, even unbelievers have some ability to resist their emotions. Romans 1 does say that God has “handed people over to their depraved minds” but this is a response and a result of living in defiance of God to begin with.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. – Romans 1:28-32

I once heard someone explain the idea of “giving over” in terms of “sticky tape.” If we are not living for God, we are like sticky tape. As sin accumulates, it is like tape being used on clothing – it begins to lose its stickiness. Eventually, it is not sticky at all. There is a very real danger for those who continue to give in to their emotions: over time it becomes harder and harder to resist! God gives people over to their evil desires and lusts until, eventually, they really are unable to resist their emotions.

But we are not supposed to live like this. We are to resist giving in to evil emotions and to repent when we fail. The Holy Spirit can help us resist, and Jesus forgives us when we turn to Him in repentance, because of what He has done on the cross for us. In addition, we are to command ourselves to exhibit godly emotions. We can do this! With the Holy Spirit’s help, we can choose which emotions we exhibit. We can be the lords of our emotions.

Toxic Emotions

Some emotions are to be avoided. They are poisonous and destructive. They are sin. Their fruit is death. These emotions were not part of mankind at Creation – when God created Adam and Eve and said His creation was good, it did not include these emotions. The passage we just saw in Romans 1 talks about some of these emotions. Here is another example:

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. – Galatians 5:19-21a

Some of these are more the results of the emotions rather than the emotions themselves, but Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, made it pretty clear that there really isn’t much difference.

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. – Matt. 5:21-22

You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. – Matt. 5:27-28

Malice, envy, selfish ambition, bitterness, lust, and hatred are example of toxic emotions. They should be allowed no place in the life of an overcoming Christian. When we give in to toxic emotions, we need to seek forgiveness from God and from those who have felt their effects.

Neutral Emotions

I have something very specific in mind when I think of “neutral” emotions. I am talking about emotions that are a result of our human situation. What is our human situation? It is that we are in a world that is fallen, cursed, because of the sin of Adam and Eve and the guilt of the serpent. We live in a world filled with death, disease, and pain, because of these things. These things will continue, and even increase, until Jesus returns and this age of “Last Days” comes to an end.

Neutral emotions are not sin. Jesus experienced them during His time on earth in all their fullness. Examples of neutral emotions are grief, pain, fear, sadness, anxiety, stress, and anguish.

Jesus experienced hunger, thirst, tiredness, temptation, misunderstanding, betrayal, and hatred. He rejoiced, He marveled, He loved, He felt compassion, He felt anger, He wept, He cried out, He became anguished, and He felt abandoned. “My God – why have You forsaken Me?” And in all this He did not sin.

What I am calling neutral emotions are temporary. They will not continue in heaven. A number of verses say this. Here is one:

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." – Rev. 21:3-4

Although neutral emotions are not sin, we do not need to remain "stuck" in them. There is a time for weeping, but there is also a time for the weeping to end and even for rejoicing. We should view the neutral emotions as emotions we "move through" and "move beyond" as we increasingly put our hope not in our circumstances but in the person of Christ.

Godly Emotions

Godly emotions are emotions that will continue for eternity. God Himself experiences these. A little while ago we read Galatians 5:19-21a which talked about the toxic emotions. The passage continues with godly emotions:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Gal. 5:22-23

As with the toxic emotions, there is a fuzzy line between emotions and the results of the emotions. Love is not just a feeling, but something we do by laying down our lives for one another. Joy is not just something we experience, but something we can choose to accept. Joy is a decision to believe that, despite trials and challenges, God is good and God loves me. Likewise, peace is a decision to believe that, despite trials and challenges, God is in control and is working out all things for good. Patience with others is a result of reflecting on and believing, deep down, that God is ever-patient with us. We, therefore, want to show patience to others. Kindness, similarly, is a result of really believing that God is kind, and He showers us daily with loving-kindnesses. How could we think of doing anything different? Goodness also results when we fill our hearts with the thoughts of God’s goodness. We want to be faithful because we know that God will never leave us nor forsake us, and Jesus has been utterly faithful to the Father, even laying down His life at His Father’s request. We know God cares for us like a gentle shepherd caring for his sheep, and so we too want to be gentle to those around us.

And as for self-control, it is what I might call a “meta”-emotion. Self-control is a decision to pursue being continually filled with the Spirit so that we can constantly experience its fruit, all of the other Godly emotions and their results. It is also a decision to abstain from the toxic emotions. The neutral emotions are truly neutral; they should drive us to God so that we can be filled with the Godly emotions, and we should be careful not to let them draw us to the toxic emotions.

By the way, when those around us experience the neutral emotions, we should be careful not to tell people that they are toxic. They are not. Grief, sadness, sorrow, and even anguish have a place in this broken world. We should…

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15

This even goes for anxiety and stress. What can we do to help those going through these? What can we do if we are going through them? I think the answer depends entirely on the cause. Is it real, or is it a result of false thinking? When Jesus was about to go to the cross, when He cried out in prayer and sweated blood, His anxiety was real. He was about to go to the cross! He was about to experience torture, pain, death, and separation from the Father. It would have been wrong to tell Him some platitude about how in the future He would look back on it and laugh, or how He should just think about something else.

On the other hand, often the cause of our anxiety and stress is us. We set unrealistic expectations on ourselves, or we overestimate the consequences of a negative outcome, or for reasons we don’t even really understand, an event or possible event triggers some sort of emotional mess that goes back to our past, even our childhood. Even Sigmund Freud was right, once in a while.

But the bottom line is that we should be pursuing the godly emotions and shunning the toxic emotions; this is what it means to practice self-control. Self-control is the key to being an overcoming Christian in the arena of our emotions. Consider these verses from Titus 2:

Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. – Titus 2:2

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure. – Titus 2:3-5a

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. – Titus 2:6

You can see that everyone is to be self-controlled, the older men, the older women, the younger women, and the young men. How do we do this? I have three suggestions.

1. Study the life of Jesus.

If you want to see self-control in action, look to Jesus. Again, I encourage you to raise your standard. We want to win, not finish, the race. If you feel depressed and think, “I can’t possibly be like Him,” you have misunderstood. I am not saying to do this in your own strength. I am saying to look to Him so you know what victory can look like. Then you pray and ask Him to make you like that.

2. Pray and talk to yourself.

Yes, you read that right. My model for this is David. Study the Psalms. You will see the man after God’s own heart. His emotions are there, in the raw, but what you see over and over is David reminding himself of God’s goodness, of God’s love for Him, and you see David praying what he knows is true, even while his heart feels overwhelmed, and you see him talking to himself. Here are some examples:

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. – Psalm 42:5, 42:11, 43:5

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. – Psalm 62:5

Praise the Lord, O my soul. – Psalm 103:1, 103:2, 103:22, 104:1, 104:35, 146:1

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. – Psalm 116:7

3. Keep on being filled with the Spirit.

We have already talked about this. After all, it is the fruit of the Spirit that we seek. At the heart of this is to keep your walk, no, your run with God real and intimate. Keep short accounts with Him. And remember Him daily.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good. – Titus 2:11-14

We then prepared to remember Jesus with the bread and the cup. The bread reminds us of His body, beaten and crucified on the cross for our sins. The juice reminds us of His blood, shed so that we could be forgiven and reconciled with God forever. Jesus is not just our model for living, or our Friend who never leaves or forsakes us, or our future companion for eternity. He is our salvation. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is the door, the only door, to the Father. For this we praise Him and we worship Him.

Here is another verse that attests to the fact that the neutral emotions are temporary.

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine— the best of meats and the finest of wines. On this mountain He will destroy the shroud that enfolds all peoples, the sheet that covers all nations; He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; He will remove the disgrace of His people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken. In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trusted in Him, and He saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in Him; let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation." – Isaiah 25:6-9

And so, let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation. Let us remember Him, thank Him, and praise Him.

In preparation for communion, I encouraged everyone to remember and thank Him for His body and His blood, thanking Him for the reality that these symbols commemorate. And then, I encouraged everyone to spend some more time in prayer, asking Him to fill us with His Spirit and helping us to become, little by little, the lords of our emotions, to live self-controlled lives, living the victorious Christian life in the realm of our emotions.

Following communion, we had a sharing time where all were welcome to share what God was doing in our lives. We also spent an extended time in prayer. The fellowship was filled with the "scent" of Jesus, and it was sweet!