Serving while Struggling

1 Samuel 23:1-18

Do you ever feel like you are just barely hanging on? One more storm, one more gust of wind, and you are just going to fall flat? You might be tempted to say, “Okay, God, that’s enough. This is all I can handle. One more problem, one more challenge, and I will just go to pieces.” God hears every cry of our hearts. He loves us more than we can imagine. But He is never sympathetic to self-pity. When we are struggling, He will assure us that He is right beside us. But He will often say, “I want you to reach out to someone else. I want you to help them, even though you feel helpless yourself.” He wants us to serve while struggling.

Everyone struggles with something. I don’t know what you are facing right now, but I am sure that there is something in your life that you would want to be different. Some of you are managing it, trying to keep it in proper perspective, trusting God. Some of you are feeling overwhelmed, ready to give up. I’ve talked before about how all of us are wounded soldiers – but that does not exempt us from the battle. You don’t wait until you have the victory to start fighting. You do what you can with what you have, despite your weakness, despite your struggle. God wants to use you – and grow you in the process.

What was David struggling with? Last week Carl took us through the sad story of Ahimelek and his family being killed by Saul – and David realizing that he was responsible for this tragic injustice because of the lie that he had told to get what he wanted, what he thought he needed. When Abiathar, the one surviving son of Ahimelek, tells him the story, David seems pretty calm. But can you imagine how he feels as this news sinks in? “A whole town of innocent people have been massacred because of me.” How do you feel when you realize that you have made a bad mistake? I bet David felt awful. I know I beat myself up over much smaller things.

So David is struggling on a number of levels. Saul is pursuing him relentlessly, trying to kill him. He has just realized the terrible consequences of his lies to Ahimelek. And he has hundreds of people following him, looking to him for leadership and security, now including Abiathar the priest. Do you suppose he was feeling a little stressed? But it doesn’t stop there. Someone comes with even more bad news. The Philistines are attacking and plundering again, this time on the edge of lowlands at an Israelite town called Keilah.

When David was told, “Look, the Philistines are fighting against Keilah and are looting the threshing floors,” he inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I go and attack these Philistines?”

The Lord answered him, “Go, attack the Philistines and save Keilah.”—I Samuel 23:1-2

David could easily have said, “I’ve got enough on my plate right now, thank you very much. Shouldn’t King Saul be the one to go protect his people?” But David hated the Philistines as the enemies of God’s people, and he felt a sense of responsibility to stop them from attacking the land. So he asks God what he should do, and God confirms that he should go and help Keilah.

But David’s men said to him, “Here in Judah we are afraid. How much more, then, if we go to Keilah against the Philistine forces!”—I Samuel 23:3

The men are voicing what most of us would probably feel: “We have enough to handle! We are barely surviving ourselves, running away from Saul, trying to find safe places to hide, trying to get enough to eat, worried about our families and loved ones.” I’m not sure what all they would have been dealing with, but it was a lot. They had good reason to be afraid. So David makes sure of what they are supposed to do.

Once again David inquired of the Lord, and the Lord answered him, “Go down to Keilah, for I am going to give the Philistines into your hand.”—I Samuel 23:4

Notice how God doesn’t just tell him to go; he assures him of victory.

So David and his men went to Keilah, fought the Philistines and carried off their livestock. He inflicted heavy losses on the Philistines and saved the people of Keilah. (Now Abiathar son of Ahimelek had brought the ephod down with him when he fled to David at Keilah.)—I Samuel 23:5-6

David certainly has some military expertise – as well as the Lord on his side. He does some major damage to the Philistines and returns with livestock as the spoils of the battle. The parenthetical remark here indicates how David could get such clear direction from God, since this special ephod was a device that a priest could use (we don’t really know exactly how) to get a definite yes or no from God.

Saul was told that David had gone to Keilah, and he said, “God has delivered him into my hands, for David has imprisoned himself by entering a town with gates and bars.” And Saul called up all his forces for battle, to go down to Keilah to besiege David and his men.

When David learned that Saul was plotting against him, he said to Abiathar the priest, “Bring the ephod.” David said, “Lord, God of Israel, your servant has heard definitely that Saul plans to come to Keilah and destroy the town on account of me. Will the citizens of Keilah surrender me to him? Will Saul come down, as your servant has heard? Lord, God of Israel, tell your servant.”

And the Lord said, “He will.”

Again David asked, “Will the citizens of Keilah surrender me and my men to Saul?”

And the Lord said, “They will.”—I Samuel 23:7-12

Somehow Saul and David are able to keep track of each other’s location, at least approximately. There must have been spies or informers on both sides. Saul prepares to leap at this opportunity to trap David in a town that he could easily surround. But David hears of Saul’s plans and realizes that Saul will destroy Keilah for any disloyalty to his authority, in the same way that he destroyed Nob in the last chapter. Saul apparently has no qualms about killing his own people. The people of Keilah would likely prefer to give David up rather than be obliterated themselves. And God confirms this.

So David and his men, about six hundred in number, left Keilah and kept moving from place to place. When Saul was told that David had escaped from Keilah, he did not go there.—I Samuel 23:13

Notice again that when David seeks God, people’s lives are saved – and only bad things happen when he relies on his own solutions. Note also that David’s band has increased in number to 600, up 50% from the last we heard. People realize that God is with him and want to be part of what’s going on, despite the risky, itinerant lifestyle. He was trustworthy and would command their loyalty in a way that Saul no long could.

David stayed in the wilderness strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands.—I Samuel 23:14

Saul is relentless, obsessed with catching David, somehow deluded into thinking that David is the cause of all his problems. David knows that God is with him, but the danger, uncertainty, and injustice are still wearing on him.

While David was at Horesh in the Desert of Ziph, he learned that Saul had come out to take his life. And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this.” The two of them made a covenant before the Lord. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.—I Samuel 23:15-18

David was getting tired. Fears and doubts would creep in. It was hard to stand alone against Saul. So what a blessing it must have been when Jonathan came “and helped him find strength in God.” It was certainly brave of Jonathan to visit him, too. Saul had wanted to kill Jonathan earlier, you may recall. But Jonathan is strong in his faith and in the promises of God. He was not looking for his own advancement but was willing to submit to what God wanted. He was a great friend to David – the kind of friend we all need and that we all need to be to each other. Jonathan, I’m sure, had his own struggles, but he helped David find strength in God, repeating back the truth of what God had promised.

Service while struggling. It takes our eyes off ourselves and focuses them back on God and his purposes. We don’t have a psalm that is specifically associated with this period of David’s life, but he could have written Psalm 31 to reflect what he was going through, with the ups and downs of faith and doubt. It’s a long chapter, so I won’t read the whole thing, but here are selected verses that show the many moods of David:

In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.—Psalm 31:1

Keep me free from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, Lord, my faithful God. I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord.—Psalm 31:4-6

You have not given me into the hands of the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.—Psalm 31:8-9

I am forgotten as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery. For I hear many whispering, “Terror on every side!” They conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me.  Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.—Psalm 31:12-16

How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you. In the shelter of your presence you hide them from all human intrigues; you keep them safe in your dwelling from accusing tongues. Praise be to the Lord, for he showed me the wonders of his love when I was in a city under siege.—Psalm 31:19-21

Love the Lord, all his faithful people! The Lord preserves those who are true to him, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.—Psalm 31:23-24

Be strong and take heart. David could be honest about what he was going through. It didn’t detract from his faith in God. He could be strong because of his confidence in God. He would bend in the storm and not break. And, by faith, he could keep his eyes on the bigger purposes that God was working out, using him to help save His people.

God wants to use us while we are struggling, too. He doesn’t say, “Get your life perfectly in order and then I will do something with you.” I don’t at all mean that He condones compromise. He hates sin and sets a standard of perfection: “Be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” But He knows our frame and remembers that we are dust – another quote from David, Psalm 103. It’s okay to struggle. It’s even okay to have doubts. Something that I have realized is that the nature of our doubt is very important. Doubting God is dangerous, but doubting our understanding of Him is actually normal and maybe even helpful. To say, “God doesn’t love me” is very different from sticking to the truth: “This certainly doesn’t seem very loving – in fact it hurts a lot – but I know that God loves me, and I know that someday – maybe only in heaven – this will make sense, and God will show me how He used it for good.” That’s what faith is: it’s hanging on when things don’t make sense, when we have to say, “I don’t know what God is doing.”

Our faith is strengthened through testing. James 1 says:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.—James 1:2-6

We will face trials of many kinds, it says. The reason we can be joyful in them is because they are not meaningless. God will achieve His purposes: building up our perseverance and maturity, strengthening the muscle of our faith. His goal is for us to be complete, not lacking anything. If we need wisdom – or anything else to make us complete people, as God intends – we can ask God, and He will give it to us. But we need to ask in faith without doubting. Doubting what? Doubting God and His ability to give it to us. Our faith is in Him: who He is, and what His “big picture” purposes are for us and the world.

Recently I was reading again the story in Daniel 3 of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego facing the fiery furnace of King Nebuchadnezzar. They had refused to worship the king’s giant idol, and the punishment would mean being burned alive. The king had made it very clear.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”—Daniel 3:16-18

Verse 17 here is a perfect statement of the kind of faith that I am talking about: faith in God Himself, not faith in our ability to predict what He will do. The God we serve is able to deliver us from the fire. He may or may not, but either way we are going to be delivered from the hand of the king. If we live or we die we are the Lord’s. Earthly authorities have no real power over us. Even if we do have to suffer and die our loyalty is to God. Even if He does not deliver us physically we do not yield to Satan. It is that decision, it is that kind of commitment that allows us to serve while struggling.

Suffering isn’t fun. It’s not something that we are naturally attracted to. We would much rather just be settled and comfortable and pain free and happy. As Carl has said, so many of our prayers boil down to asking God to give us an easy life. But the struggle is the opportunity. God can speak to us through suffering and use it in amazing ways. You may recall what C.S. Lewis said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains.” The Apostle Paul had his “thorn in his flesh,” that he talks about in 2 Corinthians 12:

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.—2 Corinthians 12:8-10

When I am weak, then I am strong. God’s power is somehow “made perfect” in our weakness. That’s what makes it possible for us to serve while struggling. It’s only because of His power and His grace.

So we need to be open to the redemptive purposes of God through suffering. Suffering in the will of God will not only purify and strengthen our own faith, it will be a tremendous testimony to other people. There are those familiar verses earlier in 2 Corinthians, chapter 4, where Paul is talking about the glory of God within us:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.—2 Corinthians 4:7-10

David was hard pressed on every side, wasn’t he? Perplexed but not in despair? He must have felt like a fragile clay jar, carrying around the anointing of God and demonstrating His divine power. We carry around the death of Jesus when we suffer as He suffered. And the result of that is right here at the end: so that the life of Jesus may be revealed. Others will see who Jesus is and what His life can mean to them. This is our ultimate service to them, isn’t it?

How do we suffer in the right way? Clearly not all suffering is redemptive. Plenty of bad things will happen to you just because you live in a sinful, fallen world. We know that God can and will work good out of whatever happens. But Paul is mainly concerned with suffering for the sake of Christ. Many Christians around the world know what it means to suffer for Jesus. Their faith costs them something on a daily basis. We are generally more detached from that in America. I had to ask myself honestly, how do I really suffer for Jesus? Am I missing out on something?

Somewhat out of the blue, God has led me into a time of fasting and prayer. For most of my life, fasting seemed kind of weird and ascetic and old fashioned. Now I realize that it is a precious gift that I have finally been able to receive. I’ve been trying to fast one day a week and spend some extra time on those days in prayer and worship. I’m not saying that this is for everyone or that it has been a magical solution to all my problems, but it has been a tremendous blessing. It has given God space to work in me in a new way. It might sound almost trivial, but fasting has been a way for me to suffer – for Jesus’ sake. I’m doing it because I want to be close to Him. And He does meet us every time we take a step of faith toward Him. I feel like the prodigal son on a weekly basis, with the Father watching for me and running to meet me whenever I leave the far country of worldly distractions and turn toward home. Fasting has focused me on God in a unique way. That’s why I call it a gift. But don’t just assume that it’s for you, too. Ask God about it.

Well, I feel like I have covered a lot of territory in this message. How can I wrap it up? Serving while struggling. It’s not something that we do just to fill in until we have things “all together” and can do some “real work” for God. David was waiting to be king and struggling to comprehend how that was going to happen. But he took the opportunities that God gave him to serve, even as he felt dismayed and weak in the face of Saul’s aggression. When we operate out of strength we generally get the glory and not God. If we really want to live for His glory, the struggle provides that opportunity. The struggle can come from a variety of sources: our inherent weakness as fallen creatures, self-induced because of sin and failure, as a consequence of living in a fallen world, as opposition to our faith, and even self-imposed suffering like fasting – as I “strike a blow to my body and make it my slave,” as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9. Any struggle can give God the chance to work in us to conform us into the image of Jesus. He is in the business of redemption.

We know that God is more concerned about His work in us than our work for Him. We can be open about our struggles because God is at work in and through them. David poured out his heart to God; he hungered and thirsted for God, seeking Him passionately. And though he was far from perfect he made himself available for however God wanted to use him. Don’t let your struggles prevent you from doing that as well.